Look at this, post everyday! I'd like to say it's a part of my April new year plan, but it's not, just a freak thing and the fact I have more time with Ash at kindy...
So, on to today's ranty jumbled mess of words. I say April is the month that gaijin fall in love with Japan again, but I think I'm becoming immune to it's powers.. Perhaps I know that after spring, comes the gruelling, sweaty furnace known as Osaka summer, or that those beautiful cherry blossoms only last a week, and then they become a mess of dirty pink petals for the Obachans to sweep up. Or maybe it's just that the weather this year seems much colder for April so I still feel like it's winter...
Whatever it is, I'm feeling distinctly anti-living-in-Japan at the moment. Wait, maybe it's living with the in-laws! If I really think about it, all rants in this post (there's only 2, don't worry) relate to them!
First thing that's pissed me off- The dentist.
I fucking hate the dentist in any country, but more so in Japan, where they drill your teeth for like 10 minutes and then set up about 28 other appointments for you. I'd rather it just be all over and done with in one go like the Aussie dentists. And I'll admit, I do get a few twangs of pain here and there in my teeth, but nothing serious or that I've felt the need to drag my arse to the dentist. I may have mentioned this to MIL on literally one occasion (my first mistake). So yesterday I was more than a little pissed when Ryota informed me I was going to the dentist next week. Ummm, rewind there buddy, since when?? He then cheerily went on to say that MIL had taken the liberty of making an appointment for me that I wasn't to miss. Err is she going to wipe my arse for me too that day?? My face then began to resemble a tomato as I said if I wanted/needed to go to the cunting dentist (my words exactly, although a little lost on poor Ryo-chan who wasn't expecting the sudden outburst)that I would make an appointment, and go myself.
It's not a huge deal, and I know her intentions were good, but fuck me it pisses me off. If I want or need help I'll be asking for it, if not, Fuck off!
Next thing, I felt a little homesick yesterday, it was Easter and I don't know why, my family have never done anything special at Easter, maybe a dinner together or something, but nothing in particular so not sure why I was being such a pussy baby, but I just felt some kind of.... lack of family maybe?? Of course Ryo-chan gave me a big hug and said that I could go home any time I wanted for a holiday no matter what the cost blah blah blah, but he doesn't quite get that I don't really want to go back, I just miss certain things.
Anyway, then today, still felt a little of the homesick pangs and was also thinking how I'm going to miss the cherry blossoms if I don't see some soon, then, as I came back from the supermarket run, I see all the in-laws leaving the house. I asked Alien SIL where they were off to and she gave me a sullen "Going to see cherry blossoms" in her usual fucking sulky alien way.
Now this is what I don't get, they stick their fucking noses in when I don't need fucking dentists appointments, but blatantly don't invite me places with them when it's something I actually want to be included in...
I'm actually being a big baby, but still. There are times when I just wish I could grab one of my girlfriends, or my mum or sister, and go shopping in a place where my massive gaijin feet fit into the shoes and I can browse clothes that I actually like rather than some cutesy, gypsy Japanese style clothes that are usually too short for me if they fit at all because of my massive gaijin height proportions... Perhaps it's time to think of a new path that doesn't involve the land of the rising sun...? I always said if I ever hated Japan that much that I couldn't stop bitching about it I would leave sooner rather than later... I don't think I'm quite at that point yet but last night I made a bargain with myself: If Ryota's new job doesn't work out (although I really hope it does for his sake!) then we're out, it's the gods or buddha or something telling me that Japan and I are done with each other for the time being.
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Friday, 2 April 2010
Happy fake new Year!
Ash had a great time at kindy today too, nice to see he misses me!
It's April! Somewhat of a new year in Japan, a time when all gaijin forget all the things that annoy them about Japan because they are blinded by alcohol fuelled flower watching parties.
I came to Japan in April and it really is just a beautiful time to be here, flowers are bloomin, sun is shining (if you're lucky enough to be in a place with no smog), and there's a sense of a fresh new start. All companies and schools/Universities also start the new year from April so students are filled with hope and enthusiasm, although that gets beaten out of them usually by golden week in the form of cram school/study/school on Saturday/clubs/extra classes/wearing school uniforms every waking second of the day.
So in the spirit of this fake new year, and Ash starting kindy, I'm making an effort to be a super organised kindy mum, the ones who's kindy stuff is all ironed and neat and labelled and shit, so, here are my fake new year's resolutions:
~Make bento for Ryota (and myself when I start working) everyday. Will be much easier as Ryota's new job starts at 9am everyday as opposed to 6!
~Keeping Ash's kindy stuff organised and orderly, this includes all kindy paperwork and 500 million pieces of paper I'm sent home with everyday.
~Try not to mutter obscenities at the ridiculousness of taking Ash's temperature EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MORNING before kindy.
~Keep the house clean and organised.
~Cook more often rather than keeping hokka hokka ben on speed dial.
OK, that's all for now, if I set too many goals I'll never keep any of them!
I didn't make a very good start though, yesterday, Ryota and I ended up at the local hospital with pair set IV drips as we were both vomiting and were burning up, I'm much better today but Ryo-chan is still moaning and writhing on the floor croaking out that he's going to die in a barely audible voice. Pussy!
Happy New April! May all your cherry blossoms be accompanied with alcohol!
It's April! Somewhat of a new year in Japan, a time when all gaijin forget all the things that annoy them about Japan because they are blinded by alcohol fuelled flower watching parties.
I came to Japan in April and it really is just a beautiful time to be here, flowers are bloomin, sun is shining (if you're lucky enough to be in a place with no smog), and there's a sense of a fresh new start. All companies and schools/Universities also start the new year from April so students are filled with hope and enthusiasm, although that gets beaten out of them usually by golden week in the form of cram school/study/school on Saturday/clubs/extra classes/wearing school uniforms every waking second of the day.
So in the spirit of this fake new year, and Ash starting kindy, I'm making an effort to be a super organised kindy mum, the ones who's kindy stuff is all ironed and neat and labelled and shit, so, here are my fake new year's resolutions:
~Make bento for Ryota (and myself when I start working) everyday. Will be much easier as Ryota's new job starts at 9am everyday as opposed to 6!
~Keeping Ash's kindy stuff organised and orderly, this includes all kindy paperwork and 500 million pieces of paper I'm sent home with everyday.
~Try not to mutter obscenities at the ridiculousness of taking Ash's temperature EVERY SINGLE FUCKING MORNING before kindy.
~Keep the house clean and organised.
~Cook more often rather than keeping hokka hokka ben on speed dial.
OK, that's all for now, if I set too many goals I'll never keep any of them!
I didn't make a very good start though, yesterday, Ryota and I ended up at the local hospital with pair set IV drips as we were both vomiting and were burning up, I'm much better today but Ryo-chan is still moaning and writhing on the floor croaking out that he's going to die in a barely audible voice. Pussy!
Happy New April! May all your cherry blossoms be accompanied with alcohol!
Thursday, 1 April 2010
I B positive...
OK, the reason for two posts in two days is that I'm distracting myself. I just dropped Ash off at kindy for the first time (only two hours today) and all morning the in-laws and I were musing over whether he would cry or scream or go mental when I left him, and you know what, he was fine. He was running a train up another kid's head when I ducked out the door.
And then the tears started flowing (mine not his!)
I'm a pretty hard nut when it comes to the kindy issue, I think it's great for kids to interact with other kids from a young age, they learn routine and responsibility and the teacher's at the kindy are just lovely. But despite all this, I whimpered like a little baby myself as I went out the door, the head teacher slapped me on the back and told me to suck it up! MIL came with me and was also blubbering like a little girl so I was glad I wasn't the only one!
Anyway, over to the title of the post, I'm usually not a Jim Carrey face contorting fan but I love the movie Bruce almighty and watched it yesterday for old time's sake, "and my tiny little nipples went to France..." hehe
There is a part in it about blood types, which reminded me of our little excursion to the docs the other day, the real reason for the trip was for Ash's tummy bug but we also remembered that the kindy needs to know what blood type he is. As he was born in Australia he didn't get checked, cos, you know, nobody gives a fuck in Australia!
For those of you who don't know, blood type is kind of a big deal in Japan, I guess it can be compared to star signs...(?) Everybody knows what they are and roughly what they mean, Japanese people also say that you should know in case there's an accident and you need an emergency transfusion but that's bullshit, they always test first. Anyway, here are the blood type personalities broken down according to Ryota:
A types- are perfect in most ways. Friendly but a little pedantic and very smart and good looking.
O types- are kinda boring but usually get on with people and are usually smart.
AB types- are two-faced and difficult to deal with on every level. They possess some good A qualities and some bad B qualities.
B types- are lying, selfish spawns of the devil.
haha, Again with Ryota's skewed view of the world!
As you might have guessed, Ryota and everyone in his direct blood line is A type, I am AB, so Ash had a chance of being A or B but until now Ryota was convinced he was A type. But to his disappointment, turns out our little Ash is a B boy! Ryota was crushed (not really) but I told him that in Aussie blood types mean jack shit so he's all good.
OK, it's almost time to go get Ashy, I'm going to go early and peek in to see how he's getting on. *sniff!*
And then the tears started flowing (mine not his!)
I'm a pretty hard nut when it comes to the kindy issue, I think it's great for kids to interact with other kids from a young age, they learn routine and responsibility and the teacher's at the kindy are just lovely. But despite all this, I whimpered like a little baby myself as I went out the door, the head teacher slapped me on the back and told me to suck it up! MIL came with me and was also blubbering like a little girl so I was glad I wasn't the only one!
Anyway, over to the title of the post, I'm usually not a Jim Carrey face contorting fan but I love the movie Bruce almighty and watched it yesterday for old time's sake, "and my tiny little nipples went to France..." hehe
There is a part in it about blood types, which reminded me of our little excursion to the docs the other day, the real reason for the trip was for Ash's tummy bug but we also remembered that the kindy needs to know what blood type he is. As he was born in Australia he didn't get checked, cos, you know, nobody gives a fuck in Australia!
For those of you who don't know, blood type is kind of a big deal in Japan, I guess it can be compared to star signs...(?) Everybody knows what they are and roughly what they mean, Japanese people also say that you should know in case there's an accident and you need an emergency transfusion but that's bullshit, they always test first. Anyway, here are the blood type personalities broken down according to Ryota:
A types- are perfect in most ways. Friendly but a little pedantic and very smart and good looking.
O types- are kinda boring but usually get on with people and are usually smart.
AB types- are two-faced and difficult to deal with on every level. They possess some good A qualities and some bad B qualities.
B types- are lying, selfish spawns of the devil.
haha, Again with Ryota's skewed view of the world!
As you might have guessed, Ryota and everyone in his direct blood line is A type, I am AB, so Ash had a chance of being A or B but until now Ryota was convinced he was A type. But to his disappointment, turns out our little Ash is a B boy! Ryota was crushed (not really) but I told him that in Aussie blood types mean jack shit so he's all good.
OK, it's almost time to go get Ashy, I'm going to go early and peek in to see how he's getting on. *sniff!*
Wednesday, 31 March 2010
Jobs and vomit and surprises, oh my!
It's been a busy week here in the 'vinegar arrow' household! Well, not that busy, but I guess because I've spent most of my waking hours cleaning up vomit, washing vomitty clothes, and having heart palpitations every time Ashton coughs for fear of projectile vomit, I haven't had time for much else.
I won't go too far into the gory details, because, you know, nobody wants to hear that shit. But Ash has had some horrific tummy bug for about a week and he's been shitting through the eye of a needle and vomiting all over the shop, poor little bugger. Another example of incompetent J-doctors has shone through. I don't always diss the J-docs, with adults I don't actually have any complaints, they are usually very thorough. But with kids they are such pussy wankers, they won't give the kids anything that works, just lolly water to put the mother's minds at ease. I need to find me an old school pro-drug doctor I think. After almost a week of J-meds, mushy rice and fish that was being thrown up after about 5 minutes, I took matters into my own gaijin hands and told Grandma to bugger off, he was having dry toast and flat lemonade for dinner. She muttered how scary that remedy was but it was the only thing he's kept down so I'm sticking to dry stuff and sweet liquids to keep his energy up, and she can bite my big, fat arse if she doesn't like it!
In between all this vomit action, there have been some other exciting developments! Last week was Ryo-chan's birthday, not only did I get him a present he actually genuinely likes, but I also organised (and kept a secret, miracle!!!) a surprise birthday party for him. He almost cried, he was so surprised! He told me later that nobody had ever bothered to do anything special for his birthday so I was well chuffed! We managed to get about 20 people together for dinner in Osaka and then some of us went for drinks and bowling afterwards, was lovely.
I told him we had to go meet some senpai friends of mine I met in China, he spent the whole week before bitching about how he didn't want to go and that he didn't want to meet any Chinese friends of mine, so it was an even better surprise because he wasn't looking forward to it at all!
The other good thing that has happened this week, is that Ryota has scored a new job. I'm incredibly relieved, his old job was just so unreliable, rainy days or when work was slow were always days off and that just scared the shit out of me. But from the middle of April, he will be working for our local city office doing similar work to that he does now but will be set hours and any overtime will be paid, plus we get insurance and all the jazz that comes with a city office job. Yay! He'll also have Saturdays off, two whole days in a row off, god what will we do with ourselves?! I'm very proud of him, there were 4 positions available but only 1 of them was a full-time with renewable contract position, and he got it!
Just reading this post back, it is incredibly optimistic and lacking sarcasm for me! Must be in a good mood... OK, back to scrubbing vomit out of my shoes...There may very well be a sarcasm laden, dark post to be written after that job...
I won't go too far into the gory details, because, you know, nobody wants to hear that shit. But Ash has had some horrific tummy bug for about a week and he's been shitting through the eye of a needle and vomiting all over the shop, poor little bugger. Another example of incompetent J-doctors has shone through. I don't always diss the J-docs, with adults I don't actually have any complaints, they are usually very thorough. But with kids they are such pussy wankers, they won't give the kids anything that works, just lolly water to put the mother's minds at ease. I need to find me an old school pro-drug doctor I think. After almost a week of J-meds, mushy rice and fish that was being thrown up after about 5 minutes, I took matters into my own gaijin hands and told Grandma to bugger off, he was having dry toast and flat lemonade for dinner. She muttered how scary that remedy was but it was the only thing he's kept down so I'm sticking to dry stuff and sweet liquids to keep his energy up, and she can bite my big, fat arse if she doesn't like it!
In between all this vomit action, there have been some other exciting developments! Last week was Ryo-chan's birthday, not only did I get him a present he actually genuinely likes, but I also organised (and kept a secret, miracle!!!) a surprise birthday party for him. He almost cried, he was so surprised! He told me later that nobody had ever bothered to do anything special for his birthday so I was well chuffed! We managed to get about 20 people together for dinner in Osaka and then some of us went for drinks and bowling afterwards, was lovely.
I told him we had to go meet some senpai friends of mine I met in China, he spent the whole week before bitching about how he didn't want to go and that he didn't want to meet any Chinese friends of mine, so it was an even better surprise because he wasn't looking forward to it at all!
The other good thing that has happened this week, is that Ryota has scored a new job. I'm incredibly relieved, his old job was just so unreliable, rainy days or when work was slow were always days off and that just scared the shit out of me. But from the middle of April, he will be working for our local city office doing similar work to that he does now but will be set hours and any overtime will be paid, plus we get insurance and all the jazz that comes with a city office job. Yay! He'll also have Saturdays off, two whole days in a row off, god what will we do with ourselves?! I'm very proud of him, there were 4 positions available but only 1 of them was a full-time with renewable contract position, and he got it!
Just reading this post back, it is incredibly optimistic and lacking sarcasm for me! Must be in a good mood... OK, back to scrubbing vomit out of my shoes...There may very well be a sarcasm laden, dark post to be written after that job...
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
All for a shitty bear..
The fascinating and surreal phenomenon of Japan's mix of ancient and modern culture is usually something I enjoy, often something that makes me giggle and sometimes something that pisses me off in a big way. Today was a day I did not giggle or enjoy, I was well and truly pissed.
An example of the good mix would be, say, Kyoto. Kyoto station is an amazingly modern architectural masterpiece, with train lines intertwined with modern structures, countless beams and glass ceilings, shops and restaurants. Yet minutes away are ancient shrines and temples with magnificent gardens reflecting the old Japan that is so popular on postcards.
The funny mix would be, for example, an old school Japanese grandpa on the way home from the public bath in his kimono like robe and little wooden slippers texting his grand kids on his mobile phone.
And today, I got hit with a dose of 'FUCKING JAPAN!!!' that I sometimes get, which then forces me to look into careers and choices in a country that doesn't piss me off as much, however I usually get bored and do a facebook quiz...
I have to say though, I was in a bad mood to begin with already today, it may be the cold rainy weather, or the fact that I still have a freaking cold, or that I have to work until 7pm to accommodate my rich, annoying student. It also doesn't help that Ryota is at home for the 3rd day in a row, which is nice but means more coffee cups and crumbs for me to get anal retentive about, not to mention that he doesn't get paid for rainy days, hence my working until 7...
Anyway, can I waffle on any more!? Nope think that's the end of the waffling...
So what happened today. I usually go by bicycle with little Ash to our local suupaa. The Obachans are friendly, I know exactly where everything is and I feel safe there. It's my safe suupaaa..
But Ashton has taken a liking to fucking Pooh-san cereal, which alas isn't available at my local safe suupaa. So seeing as though it was raining and I was going in the car anyway, thought I'd make the trek to the next suupaa over, with it's big fancy car park and array of different carts, this isn't a tiny family supermarket, it's a big chain that even sells fresh coriander! (A gem in Japan) Not sure if it's Japan wide or just Kansai, but the name is Mandai. Shame Mandai. Shame.
An example of the good mix would be, say, Kyoto. Kyoto station is an amazingly modern architectural masterpiece, with train lines intertwined with modern structures, countless beams and glass ceilings, shops and restaurants. Yet minutes away are ancient shrines and temples with magnificent gardens reflecting the old Japan that is so popular on postcards.
The funny mix would be, for example, an old school Japanese grandpa on the way home from the public bath in his kimono like robe and little wooden slippers texting his grand kids on his mobile phone.
And today, I got hit with a dose of 'FUCKING JAPAN!!!' that I sometimes get, which then forces me to look into careers and choices in a country that doesn't piss me off as much, however I usually get bored and do a facebook quiz...
I have to say though, I was in a bad mood to begin with already today, it may be the cold rainy weather, or the fact that I still have a freaking cold, or that I have to work until 7pm to accommodate my rich, annoying student. It also doesn't help that Ryota is at home for the 3rd day in a row, which is nice but means more coffee cups and crumbs for me to get anal retentive about, not to mention that he doesn't get paid for rainy days, hence my working until 7...
Anyway, can I waffle on any more!? Nope think that's the end of the waffling...
So what happened today. I usually go by bicycle with little Ash to our local suupaa. The Obachans are friendly, I know exactly where everything is and I feel safe there. It's my safe suupaaa..
But Ashton has taken a liking to fucking Pooh-san cereal, which alas isn't available at my local safe suupaa. So seeing as though it was raining and I was going in the car anyway, thought I'd make the trek to the next suupaa over, with it's big fancy car park and array of different carts, this isn't a tiny family supermarket, it's a big chain that even sells fresh coriander! (A gem in Japan) Not sure if it's Japan wide or just Kansai, but the name is Mandai. Shame Mandai. Shame.
I toddled in, got everything I needed plus the bloody pooh-san cereal, got to the check-out with my basket full to the top, did the necessary bowing that comes with the irrashaimase barking and waited patiently while cooked food was put in mini plastic bags, dry ice was put with frozen stuff and tampons were shunned to the black bag of shame. After all this frigging around I realised I only had about 2000 yen in my wallet (about $20). But no worries, supermarkets are the only place you can always rely on to take credit cards. Right! You'd think so, but no. The obachan gave me a big apology and said that they didn't take credit cards. I'm sorry, but What the fuck!?!? It's 2000 and fucking 10 and we're in the land of modern technology! No fucking credit cards!!!?? Not even VISA, which is usually accepted if others aren't. Now my hairdresser is a tiny place but they still take VISA, Lawson and Family mart take credit cards, fucking taxis take credit cards and I don't even know how that shit works!
So long pissed off story short, I had to go home and get cash and come back. They kept my basket behind the counter, so that was one thing I guess. Anyway, am back home after work now and feeling a little more relaxed.
I was getting around to writing the piss story but can't be arsed now... Stay tuned!
Saturday, 20 March 2010
Ashton's words
All English I might add (although he does say manma and boo for food and drink. ) Now that he's starting to understand and use english I don't feel like such a twat when I say things and nobody else understands me!
Stay tuned there'll be a post later about wee and farting. Don't want to miss that!
Stay tuned there'll be a post later about wee and farting. Don't want to miss that!
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
Motivation....
I can safely say I've been a HUGE porker this winter, as in eating copious amounts of great stuff, drinking loads of alcohol and not balancing it with any exercise. Was fun, but I knew I was in trouble when I put my jeans on thinking I had washed them because they were all tight and pinching my love handles but I hadn't, my gut had just expanded!
I feel gross and am too scared to hop on the scales to see the damage. Talking about it last night with Ryochan, I told him about Fi's system she had going with her hubby, who would buy her anything she wanted if she got to 60kgs. Now Ryota is cluey in this department, he knows if he says I should do that too that I'm likely to poke him in the eye with a chopstick and start signing divorce papers for being an insensitive twat so he's always careful to start any sentence with "You look great the way you are!" Clever lad. But he was being WAY too nice last night so finally I just said, "OK cut the sensitive new age bullshit, get some balls and tell me I'm a whale so I have some motivation to actually lose weight you big pussy!" (I said it in a much nicer Japanese way of course)
So he said he thought 60kgs was too low, he wouldn't have married a whitey if he didn't like something to grab on to, so he said if I got in the 60's, as in 69.9kgs is OK, he would buy me something, but that wasn't enough for me, I needed something concrete, that I could concentrate on, if it was just 'anything I wanted' I wouldn't be able to imagine having it. Soooo here was my list of things I started fantasising about...
~ A big fat diamond ring
~ A new wardrobe
~A new computer
But as I started listing these things, I thought, hmmm I can have a big sparkly diamond on my finger, but for the money it cost I could be soaking up sun and having massages on a beach while smoking a joint for that money. So I scrapped my list and told him that if i got to the 60s I wanted us all to go on a holiday. Sensible right!?
[Just so you know, TMI alert coming up here, click away if you don't want to imagine me naked, and if you do keep reading... Shame on you, you big perv! ]
But then Ryota got to thinking about boobs. (As men tend to always do...) It could be because earlier in the night while I was having a shower I realised I have nooooo tits at all compared to what I used to, it's like breastfeeding pumped those babies up like big, juicy, 'pam pam' water balloons and now they're all deflated and sad lookin. I started whining about it as I came out of the bathroom and while I was whining started on about my blubby tummy as well. Ryota did the obligatory pussy comment and then followed it with "It's cute! You look like my favourite meal, fried eggs on rice!"
FUCK RIGHT OFF, I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIED EGGS ON RICE!!!!
But good on him, it was very good motivation to get my white, flabby, rice tummy into some sort of shape. I immediately went and did about 20 seconds on the rodeo boy.
Anyway, back to my 60kgs prize, we figured if I did lose weight, my tits would shrink even more and I would have that horrid loose skin on my tummy, so my prize is a plastic surgery holiday! Birds, stones, right.. Right! Who knows if I could ever actually do it, but I think the chances of me getting to 60kgs anytime soon are quite slim.. haha slim, get it.
OK, off to rodeo boy and eat some dust for dinner.
I feel gross and am too scared to hop on the scales to see the damage. Talking about it last night with Ryochan, I told him about Fi's system she had going with her hubby, who would buy her anything she wanted if she got to 60kgs. Now Ryota is cluey in this department, he knows if he says I should do that too that I'm likely to poke him in the eye with a chopstick and start signing divorce papers for being an insensitive twat so he's always careful to start any sentence with "You look great the way you are!" Clever lad. But he was being WAY too nice last night so finally I just said, "OK cut the sensitive new age bullshit, get some balls and tell me I'm a whale so I have some motivation to actually lose weight you big pussy!" (I said it in a much nicer Japanese way of course)
So he said he thought 60kgs was too low, he wouldn't have married a whitey if he didn't like something to grab on to, so he said if I got in the 60's, as in 69.9kgs is OK, he would buy me something, but that wasn't enough for me, I needed something concrete, that I could concentrate on, if it was just 'anything I wanted' I wouldn't be able to imagine having it. Soooo here was my list of things I started fantasising about...
~ A big fat diamond ring
~ A new wardrobe
~A new computer
But as I started listing these things, I thought, hmmm I can have a big sparkly diamond on my finger, but for the money it cost I could be soaking up sun and having massages on a beach while smoking a joint for that money. So I scrapped my list and told him that if i got to the 60s I wanted us all to go on a holiday. Sensible right!?
[Just so you know, TMI alert coming up here, click away if you don't want to imagine me naked, and if you do keep reading... Shame on you, you big perv! ]
But then Ryota got to thinking about boobs. (As men tend to always do...) It could be because earlier in the night while I was having a shower I realised I have nooooo tits at all compared to what I used to, it's like breastfeeding pumped those babies up like big, juicy, 'pam pam' water balloons and now they're all deflated and sad lookin. I started whining about it as I came out of the bathroom and while I was whining started on about my blubby tummy as well. Ryota did the obligatory pussy comment and then followed it with "It's cute! You look like my favourite meal, fried eggs on rice!"
FUCK RIGHT OFF, I DON'T WANT TO BE FRIED EGGS ON RICE!!!!
But good on him, it was very good motivation to get my white, flabby, rice tummy into some sort of shape. I immediately went and did about 20 seconds on the rodeo boy.
Anyway, back to my 60kgs prize, we figured if I did lose weight, my tits would shrink even more and I would have that horrid loose skin on my tummy, so my prize is a plastic surgery holiday! Birds, stones, right.. Right! Who knows if I could ever actually do it, but I think the chances of me getting to 60kgs anytime soon are quite slim.. haha slim, get it.
OK, off to rodeo boy and eat some dust for dinner.
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