Since I last posted...

In no particular order...

*President Obama got re-elected. I'm not American and not particularly political, but I like Mr Obama, not because he can save the world or anything, just because he seems like a nice guy. Plus Hollywood loves him, if brainwashing from the U.S of A has taught me anything, it's go with Jay-Z!

*I turned 29. Not 30. Breathe. Not 30. No actually I don't give a fuck about getting older, I figure it only gets better. Birthday was good. Got some nice pressies, went out for a steak, can't ask for more than that!

*I gained another pussy. As in cat that is. Our little moo-chan has a brother it appears. They do everything together and it was impossible to say yes to one and no to another. So now a grand total of 3 kitty cats; Whisky-chan, Moo-chan and Fuu-chan. That's Fuu as in Fugu, not fuck for you non-Japanese speakers too!

*My baby is no longer a baby... he's a rolling, toothy little boy and that scares me more than getting older does!

*I've hatched a one-year escape plan from my marriage if need be. That's a post for another day though.

*I got a comment on one of my posts that managed to really piss me off:

"I also don't understand why u as mother don't go to yr kids sport festival. u live with a j family, have a j husband and u live in j.so, u could at least adopt to the basic j family behavior."

As much as this made me very fucking angry, (I'm a little too defensive perhaps) I'm as always, grateful for any comments and input, as different to my opinion as they may be.

Let me just defend myself by saying I did go to the final rehearsal which is exactly the same thing. And there was one reason and one reason only I didn't go, it wasn't to be a rebellious little gaijin baby, it was because- I WORK. I wasn't just slacking off at home! Anyway, the comment triggered a whole new set of fears that I'm ruining my children by working when they're so young. Women really are fucked every way on this I feel.

*I'm sure there has been some other drama but I can't really think of anything else at the moment, I'll leave you with a pic of SIL's wall shrine to the late dog...

A fuck festival!

Sorry for the crude title, MIL has gone away with her boyfriend for the weekend and Ryota said 'it will be a big fuck festival for them!' I just thought of it and chuckled... For all the times Ryota is a fucking arse, he can be pretty amusing at times.

We've had good and bad patches lately, I can't blame the bad all on him though, I've been a bit of a moody cow lately, working 6 days a week and dashing home in between lessons to look after the bub is proving to be quite stressful, which was expected, but if I think about it it could be much worse. I don't have to put him in day care seeing as though neither MIL or SIL have worked a day since the dog passed away due to stress... I'll leave that topic alone... Anyway, I'm paying SIL (I've decided to drop 'dog-fucker' out of respect for the dead) 1000 yen an hour to watch bub and I come home when I can to breast feed. It's not working out too badly but I am pretty busy and I'm finding that if I'm very straight forward and actually give Ryota specific instructions he will do them. I rarely have time to cook dinner so we scam from Grandma's house or order in, it's just the way it is at the moment. On the plus side, the school is better and busier than ever, the Halloween party we're having next week looks like it's going to be about 90 people!! Lucky I rented a hall, we'd never fit in my little school.

Ryota's family have actually been really supportive since I've gone back to work, although Grandma was SO fucking Japanese the other day it made me sick. She never really says much about me working so much, I'm sure she thinks I should stay home more, but she always gives me an "Itterasshai!" whenever I leave and acts like she doesn't mind that I abandon my kids quite frequently. That said, the other week was Ash's sports festival, and seeing as though I'd gone to his final rehearsal a few days before, I went to work instead of the real one on the Saturday. The neighbour was out the front talking to Grandma and as I got on my bike to leave for work the neighbour said "Oh are you off to the sports festival??" and I was all, "Errrr fuck no, I'd much rather go to work!!" Well, actually I said, "Ohh no, I have to work..." And Grandma totally fucking stabbed me in the back and said how a mother should go to the sports day because it's so important!!! Bitch never uttered a word to me about it, but in front of the neighbour she had to act all proper Grandma-like!! Still, it's something I've learnt to ignore, old Japanese women are possibly the most two-faced of anyone I know!

In other news, I've adopted another stray kitten, he was hungry and cold and it was love at first sight but he really sealed the deal when he snuck in and stole one of Ash's onigiri out of his hand and scared the fuck out of him. He's still scared of everyone but we've got him coming and going inside the house and eating at least. His name is Moo because he's black and white like a little cow.

OK, must get back to work! Sorry for the lack of blogging/commenting, I'm working on it!!

Quickie

We all knew dog fucker would be devo-ed at the poor pooch passing, but here is a quickie list of some of her recent activity...

*Quit her part-time job due to grief

*Can't sleep without a cocktail of Grandma's sleeping pill and booze. (This one makes me a little bit happy, at least I'm not the only drunk in the family anymore!)

*Refuses to shower alone as she used to shower with the dog...

*Random bouts of crying (this one is actually acceptable for a while).

*Printing of 227, Yes 2-2-7 photos of the dog from her mobile phone to make a recent album to add to the other 16, that's right, 16, albums that she already has...

I'm as busy as all fuck, Ryota failed his fucking licence test and things are at a low point at the moment, I'm hoping they get better for all of us some time soon!

Oh dear lord...

Dog fucker's dog died this morning. As sad as it was, the poor thing has been in pain for the last six months and it was for the best. I can't imagine how dog fucker is going to go on..,

Favourites

Do you have a favourite kid??
Did your parents favour you or one of your siblings??

Fuck my opening sounds like an entry for a Japanese school kid's English speech contest... Let's talk about favouring one kid over the other today!!

So since little Bailey has come into the Vinegar-Arrow family things have changed, obviously. The whole time I was pregnant with him, I was DREADING him being born, the dynamic of 2 kids, a job, house, twat of a husband and a foreign country was overwhelming. But the main reason I was dreading it, was because the only experience I've ever had with babies is Ash, and I won't lie, he was a fucker of a baby. He cried A LOT, didn't sleep well and took all my time, energy, and sanity. And I wasn't working at that time. I thought I might go a bit bonkers if I had to do that again and to my surprise, it hasn't been like that at all. Bailey is the total opposite to Ash, he sleeps through the night, takes long naps, smiles, giggles, cuddles and is generally easy to look after. Of course I realise he may change as he gets older, but for the most part I think he's definitely going to be an easier baby than Ash was.

Now if it was just me who noticed the differences between my kid I'd just keep my trap shut, but everyone notices it "He never cries!" "He smiles a lot!!" AND he has big blue eyes and light hair, in Japan this is way more important than, well pretty much anything in baby terms. So I feel bad for little Ash because everyone always says how completely different they are and I'm worried he's going to get a complex at the ripe old age of 3! But I can't help it, when  Ash is trying my patience, I find myself thinking how much I love Bailey for being easy... Terrible mother I am!! Meh, I'm not losing sleep over it, but still I feel a bit guilty when I send Ash over to Grandma's house because I just want some peace with Bailey.

So can I say Bailey is my favourite...? But on the other hand, Ash and I are totally kindred spirits, so I feel a bit for him. Apparently my sister was an angel baby like Bailey and I was a little strong-willed shit like Ash right up until elementary school. I hated change, (still do) never slept and shamed my family one year by yanking Santa's beard and stealing a handful of candy before running away (and I mean far away too, they couldn't find me for ages apparently!) at the annual Santa photo. So I'm kind of happy that Ash is so 'head strong' (read, BAD) because it means he has a little bit of cheekiness in him like me.

Still, I'm glad they're different, it would be pretty damn boring if they were both little robots who always did as they were told I guess.

 Me and my sister...

 

Ash and Bailey... History repeating??

You know things are bad when...

-You escape to work with two kids just to write a blog post and do some lesson planning.

-You fucking dread the 3 day weekend.

So the divorce proceedings haven't moved any farther along, but they are never far from my mind. I don't want to keep bashing Ryota here (but I totally will don't worry) because I think it's more of an issue of us being totally mis-matched rather than he's always an arse. I do think he's an arse a lot of the time, but that may be just because my arse-o-metre is set a certain way. I honestly believe he'd be so much happier with a Japanese wife, J-women seem to have a knack of showing they love a man by accepting their imperfections, whereas I just can't do it.

I'm so fucking scared of going back to work full time this week, I know I'm going to be stuck doing all the housework, cooking, working and looking after the littlen. I know people say 'just leave the housework!' But that's not the way I roll, I can't stand it not being done. I'm no perfect housekeeper but I like my clutter hidden and floors vacuumed at the very minimum, and if I don't do it, no other fucker will.

Today has been hard, I let Ryota's mood affect me more than I should, but it's so hard to be perky when he's so negative and cranky. I also feel our communication skills are at an all time low, despite his English being quite good and my Japanese being OK, it really is horrible. Today in the car he said, "I had a dream last night that I was smoking a cigarette!" to which I replied, "Oh yeah, was it good??" And then told him I had a dream that I put Ash in the ergo and dropped him on his head (what the fuck is with that?!) but he didn't reply for about a minute and then said "I didn't ask you what your dream was, I just told you mine." It's stupid little stuff like this that really fucking shits me, maybe I was bad but I think more likely he thinks I said "That's good" instead of "Was it good?" so thought I was just brushing him off. We've also had issues lately because he keeps sighing and saying "Ahhh Ash can't speak English! Should I teach him??" and this fucking pisses me off to the absolute fucking max. I feel bad Ash's English is not where it should be, but I speak English to him whenever I can but I work, so he goes to kindy at 9, and most nights I get home at 8pm, not a lot of time. I feel guilty enough as it is, I really don't need my partner to make me feel even more guilty, I just don't need it.

It's a combination of all these things and more that have me planning the best way out. I just don't really know where to start. I want to stay in Japan but the logistics are overwhelming me.

Breasts

Boobs. Bosoms. Tits. Knockers. Bristol cities. Titties. Melons. おっぱい。

We all have them, men can walk around with theirs out, so why is it so outrageous for women to get there's out??

I'm not referring to the time I flashed my boobies to a packed pub on new year's eve, I'm actually talking about breastfeeding, and from my experience breastfeeding in Japan. Breastfeeding is encouraged in Japan and I'm not sure of the stats but a fair amount of women choose to breastfeed but I'm not sure when or where they are doing it because I don't think I've ever seen a public display of boobie here.
To be fair, shopping centers here have wonderful breastfeeding facilities with private rooms with curtains, so I get that, but I've never seen someone breastfeeding at say, a restaurant.

I on the other hand, get my tits out wherever I am, even if I'm at a shopping centre, if I can't be arsed trekking to the other side of the mall to get to the feeding room, I'll get em' out. Ryota is mortified every time, but I'm sure he wouldn't like a screaming baby either. He says that if I absolutely HAVE to breastfeed (what the fuck?!), then I should use a cover, but I'll be honest, I'm extremely uncoordinated, I can't use the fucker because I can't see where the fucking nipple and mouth are! Maybe I should practice with a cover, but I figure if I'm not embarrassed then why should anyone else be??

What is your take on it?? Is it just me that has no shame? Does it offend you if you see a woman breastfeeding in public?? Let me know!


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