Thursday 5 May 2011

Playground fucker fury.

I must be getting more violent in my old age, need some meditation or some shit. Or maybe medication is more appropriate...

Hi, I'm Corinne and I may have rage issues because I literally wanted to pick up someone and smash his skull against a playground equipment bar and then throw him head first down a slide. The big slide...

And even worse, he was 7. What the fuck, I need to get this under control! I feel this will become more of a problem as Ash gets older and I live in Japan longer too. I never wanted to be one of those controlling soccer mums who ran on to the field to sort out the kid who made an unfair tackle on her son, I always wanted him to know I was here for him but that he had to have a crack at solving the problem himself, or failing that, kicking the other kid really hard without getting caught. I still really believe this but when it's such an unfair fight and when the kid in question is a ignorant little fuck it really gets my blood boiling.

We went to the park today, it was a beautiful day and I had a few free hours that I was not wasting watching TV inside so off we went to get some onigiris and juice and to play in the park for a bit. Fresh air, exercise, the perfect day for it. When we got to the park there were no other kids there but within about a minute the kid who lives near the park came over like he always does. This kid is cheeky and a bit annoying but he plays with Ash and I really don't mind him. Then, another few kids came over, they said "Ahhh America-jin mitai!!" (It looks like an American!!) this pisses me off in adults but really doesn't bother me when it's kids so I said "Hello!" and "Issho ni asobo?" (You wanna play together?) They then had a debate with each other whether I was in fact American or Japanese, the little boy was all, "But she said Hello, hello is English!!" and the girl said "But then she spoke Japanese and the little boy is Japanese!" They were friendly enough though and after a few minutes chatting I explained I was from Australia and baby Daddy was Japanese and all that other shite that is hopefully working to open their little clammed up minds.

Soon after, the park started to fill up with bigger kids and, no parents but fair play, when Ash is older I'll so send him to the park so I can have time to myself but only if I'm confident in the fact that he'll play nice and not be a right little fucker. The little fucker in question today was only 7, but a 7 year old and a 2 year old is a huge difference too. I'd left Ash playing on the slide and had already been annoyed by the little fucker screaming "HAAAARRROOOOOOO!!!!" at him repeatedly and laughing hysterically at himself. Ash obviously didn't give a fuck, but must have thought it a bit strange, he goes to Japanese kindy and speaks Japanese every day.

The older kid had a ball and Ash wanted to play with it, now had the kid been in the middle of a kicking game or something I would have told Ash to leave it but it had been sitting by the swings for about 10 minutes and the minute Ash wanted to kick it the older kid snatched it away and ran. Ash of course thought it was a game and ran after him but after about 5 minutes of the kid running away then taunting him by almost giving him the ball and snatching it back while saying "WHAT'S YOUR NAME!?" I was getting fed up. I yelled louder than I expected and I said to the little fucker, "Stop saying that, he can speak Japanese!!" I also muttered "You little cunt" under my breath but he wasn't listening at all. The other kids shifted their eyes nervously and I have a feeling this kid is probably a bully at school too because they all looked a bit scared of him.

Ash was almost hysterical by now and I decided enough was enough and said in a loud enough voice "Well, if he's not going to share, let's go to another park." The kid gave me a sideways glance and I once again told him to stop screaming bad English and reminded him that he'd been using Ash's toy cars before. He ran away, but not before the obnoxious little fuckwit screeched "OH MAI GOOOODDD!!!" at me. My face must have looked like a tomato I wanted to backhand the little shit so bad but I restrained myself and just got Ash and left, so angry and frustrated that Ash wasn't big enough and fast enough to clock him and steal his ball while I turned a blind eye. I fucking hate bullies, can't stand them. I guess the only thing I have to look forward to is Ash growing big and tall so that no fucker will even try to pick on him when he gets to school.

I also explained to Ash that there are always cunts in this world, no matter where you are, we've just got to deal with them and move on. Best work on my word choice before he learns how to say 'cunt' eh...


  1. I've had to stop myself from slapping kids a few times. It's so unfair when you (hopefully) bring your own kids up to play fair and some other kid starts acting like a little shit.

  2. What a shit! I would have gotten stuck into him in Japanese in my teacher voice. But then again, i dont have a school in the vacinity. I'll be psyco mum at the park for you next time. Then you can console him when I make him cry and tell him that's what he gets fot messing with foreigners.

  3. I have a neighbor similar to this bully kid who was yelling at the tall animated door skeleton because it was motion and sound activated.

    I was teaching Elementary school girls and I ran down in a fit and showed him he could wave his hand and activate it and then noticed he was in school uni but wearing a baseball cap backwards...

    I asked him why he was wearing a cap backwards? You think that's cool? You look fucking stupid..."Ona poi yo"...then I told him to shut the fuck up " Omaiiwa...nani?
    That's Yakuza talk and my neighborhood has alot and they were instantly frozen by that coming from my mouth with a tilt of my head.

    They know better than to fuck around because I terrorized most of their older brothers a few years back but my Halloween display caused them to forget the rules.

    The neighborhood kids usually sprint past my house. My students (106 currently) come from surrounding neighborhoods and towns.

    I hate bully types...I feel irked just reading your post.

    Great post...but makes me wanna smack the taste outta some kids mouth while no ones around.

  4. Hey, I don't think that you overreacted in any way there actually. Seems like a really annoying kid who probably would have been better off getting the good 'ol slap around... Can't you just send Ryota after him, his parents and his family? Arrange a bike accident and bleed them dry?