Tuesday 24 May 2011

She ain't heavy...

She's my (J) sister.

I think a lot of foreign women living in Japanland can get very bitter towards Japanese women, I'm not really sure why, I mean we're all in this man's world together, we shouldn't really turn on each other. But we're women. We always do.

And I admit, when I came to Japan, after a few months of not getting laid, not even getting hit on, while watching my male foreign friends drooling over cutesy Japanese girls, I too came to hate the pigeon-toed enemy. I would dismiss any good-looking Japanese girl as a "cutesy fucking bimbo with a vagina" and mocked my male friends for hitting on them as I numbed the jealousy with another shot of vodka washed down with a beer. And sometimes it really was true, these girls were as dumb as dog shit but made up for it with meticulously curled hair, sparkly nails and strategically placed bits of cloth masquerading as clothes. It drove the boys wild! Well, until they went all psychotic J-girl on them, then they were on to the next one to do it all over again. I remember a mate telling me that a girl had taken him to a ryokan and put on hot lingerie under a kimono, made him unwrap her and then gave him a blowjob on her knees, how the fuck can us self-respecting western gals compete with that shit?! I went for at least a year of going drinking with friends, eating at saizeriya with my girlfriends, or watching bad TV in my room. Not a boy, not a tongue, not a shag in sight.

Now I think about it though, I wasn't actually all that concerned. I'd had my heart ripped out and stomped on by an ex-boyfriend before I came to Japan and I'd taken a vow of man hate anyway, but still, not so good for the self-confidence. I once had an argument with a cheery, positive Irishman at a bar because I told him I would never get married and anyone who did was a fucking moron, ohh if only Irish boy could see me now... He was so upbeat and told me I'd believe in true love again one day, to which I replied, "You would say that in the land of pussy-hou-dai!" I was tipsy at the time but I still loved that lovely mix of foul language, Japanglish and pure insult.

But the tables were turned on me once I married a J-boy. Did Japanese girls see me as their enemy now?? I had taken one of their own... I only ever had to think about this once, when I went to a drinking party/reunion of Ryota's with all his old school buddies, including his ex-girlfriend. The ex was a typical cutesy moron: skinny, sparkly and whiny. She didn't talk to me all night, gave me dirty looks over the one drink she clutched all night for fear of hurling up her diet pills if she had more than a sip of alcohol and made an effort to totally exclude me from all conversations that she entered with the only 2 other girls there. Not that I gave a flying fuck, I was drinking beer, eating meat and hearing stories about Ryota in the days I didn't know him, it was fun. It wasn't until I drank enough to go over to the little huddle of girls to talk that it really became apparent that she wanted to stab me with a meat skewer. The other girls were delighted that I would make an effort to talk to them and got all giggly and just had to take pictures with me. (What am I, fucking santa claus?!) They all huddled in and got one of their boyfriends to start snapping pics when suddenly the ex-girlfriend said "I have to go to the toilet!" and got up to leave, the other girl shrieked after her, "WAIT! JUST ONE PICTURE!!!" But she was gone. I'm not really sure why she hated me so much, although after Ryota dumped her she started dating his mate who is a bit of a loser, so maybe she was just bitter...

It was the first time I'd been on the receiving end of any of that kind of animosity, it didn't really bother me, but I guess it did make me think I should give J-girls a chance before I judge them on the sparkliness of their nails or the height of their hair like I usually do. So these days I'm a bit more chilled out and don't take the piss out of Japanese girls. OK, I still do, but not with half as much malice as before, got to instill some love and peace life lessons in the offspring after all.

Saying that, the fucking girl on the cunting morning news show that reads the weather with the mother fucking rabbit and plays the keyboard still makes me want to slap the plastered smile off her face!

OK, must work on the peace and love...


  1. Pussy-hou-dai. Fucking brilliant. I'm gonna somehow work this in to my everyday vocabulary, if you don't mind!

    I've also wondered what's up with J-girls and their obsessive picture taking. I've been flocked by many a J-student group with their cameras.. taking pictures of me by myself (which is quite awkward) and then they want to take another dozen posing with me. I don't understand them sometimes. Well, a lot of the times..

  2. I am actually on a quest to find out 1. how long those type of girls date/are married to someone before the guy sees them without the makeup, hair extensions, false eyelashes... and 2. what the hell they look like without them.

    Anyway, whenever I'm surrounded by those kind of girls I think I could have all that if I wanted to put in the time. Well except the skinny little body, but screw that - I have a small face!

  3. I don`t have a lot of super close J girlfriends (now) but I do have some- I have never really had any issues with them. I see a lot of the girls you are talking about though but just haven`t had much close contact with them. Most of the Japanese friends I have were pre marriage/pre kids except for a couple of Japanese mama friends from playgroups and baby signclass. I am not SUPER close with them though.

    I do remember going to a 2jikai wedding party- I was married to Shun alredy and pregnant with Noah (but not so pregnant that people new to look at me- more like they probably just thought I was fat) and one of those girls asked me how I knew the bride and was I an exchange student. I said "I used to be an exchange student and actually I know the groom- him and my husband are best mates" and she was shocked. Not that I knew her or she knew me but she really didn`t have anything to say back I guess. I pointed out Shun and then another of his friends called me maru-chan (After Shun & I married I was nicknamed maru-chan as well because of our surname) and asked me to do something. I think it was the fact I was married to a Japanese guy that freaked her out- I really don`t know and really didn`t care much.

    Pussy houdai. Fucking AWESOME! Totally going to use it!

  4. As a guy who has been fawned over and pursued by women most of my life..I can say..

    Well I can talk about me...everyone O.K. with that? I'm the most interesting topic I can think of.

    I have gotten a BJ by a private student at her house while being paid 10,000 yen. I then returned to my School for the next private female and had sex with her. And I got a BJ by a woman who was next. That's Friday between 1 and 4 pm for me. It's easier than shooting fish in a barrel....no wait it's easier than looking at fish...in a barrel.....no no wait wait...it's easier than being somewhere near a barrel with fish.

    I'm basically paid by the hour to have sex with married Japanese women.

    I'm gonna take a breather because at 10am tomorrow I'm at least gonna shoot some cum in a cute girls mouth and maybe lick her too. Depends on if she goes to Jazzercise b4 or after the class.

    I'm done talking about me...4 now. Please talk amongst yourselves....about me...until I return.

    **living"in the land of pussy-hou-dai!"**

  5. Hee hee, I love the "pussy hou-dai" slang too XD. I'm surrounded by the post making an effort wearing aprons all the time J-Moms here, but I also used to hate the pristine J girls too. I was friends with some in the early days, who despite their appearance were fun and relatively normal, unless in the company of men when they turned into giggling airheads. A few said to me that they were jealous of us "sexy" foreign women with our hot western men opportunities, as they felt that they were perhaps "cute", but not sexy. I once had a young male student who relayed a question from his girlfriend : "why did you marry a Japanese man?" ...odd question, but I got the feeling she meant that Japanese men were crap. Nice question to ask through your Japanese boyfriend, huh?

  6. I get the feeling that J-girls aren't even really friends with each other. Have you ever seen a group of them together? They just give off a vibe that not one of them want to really be around any of the other bitches.
    It reminds me of feral animals hunting in packs. They will stand each others company up and until a guy comes along and then it's kill or be killed.
    I don't think they get all sparkly and made up for the guys, so much as for the other J-girls.

  7. What happens to the sparkles do they trade them in for aprons? I am about to step in to the pool of apron wearers and not a sparkle in sight.... (lentil looks down at her sparkly shoes and sighs). Do you think i could have a sparkly apron...?

  8. So what Chris is bragging about is that he is a very low paid male prostitute. keep on Leaving the dream <3 lol

    The girl was your husband's ex so I guess it is normal she cannot stand you. I asked PrinZ what was his Xgirlfriends'name to be sure we would not name any of or kid or pet like that XD

    (I used to comment as Megan a long long time ago .. just to say that i am still reading it is a very good blog)

  9. white guys with J-gals fetish girls are Charisma men :)

  10. "I too came to hate the pigeon-toed enemy"
    So true!!! One of these days I am going to dedicate a whole entry to that cultural phenomenon.