Is a date I will now never forget.
I'd been to a job in Osaka, I say job, but it was actually a gig being a guinea pig for some face laser machine that I tested for 3 months to see if my white skin would melt under. Thankfully it didn't, and I got my $300 for doing nothing.
Ryota had driven me, because he's useful like that, a pain in the arse at times, but also kind and useful at others.
We got home just in time to pick Bailey up, it was perfect except that I hadn't made dinner and the lazy in me picked up McDonald's much to Bailey's joy, he didn't say it but the look on his face said, "I love you for being a lazy crap mummy, mummy!"
We parked our car in the car park across the street and went to the crossing which has a button you press, wait exactly 7 seconds for the light to change and then cross. I know it's 7 seconds because I'm OCD like that. We've done it hundreds of times, literally hundreds. Bailey always fights with Ash to push the button.
We got to the light and he pushed the button. I relaxed, we've pushed the button, Ty (the third boy!) is strapped to me, dinner in both my hands, Ryota following behind.
And then he pushed the button and didn't stop.
He just kept running.
And literally a million thoughts ran through my head. He's run out!Stop him!Look for cars!Scream!STOP!
And right before my eyes my skinny little baby ran into a car and rolled along the road at a speed that meant I couldn't see his little face, just a blur of lights and his blue jacket.
He rolled 10 metres and I just started wailing. I was like those women who moan when they grieve. Sounds were coming out of my mouth that I didn't even know could.
About 10 army guys from the base next door surrounded us and I remember one saying in English "Maam! He's alive!" Thank God for buff army guys. More than just eye candy.
Tuesday, 26 July 2016
Monday, 30 May 2016
Well fuck
As usual, life got busy and I stopped blogging!
I have a half legitimate excuse though, I pushed out another human out my minge since my last post.
So three boys it is! A lifetime of fart jokes, balls, stinky feet, moodiness. Sweet!
So yeah, the last little vinegar arrow boy was born last September, he's my favourite. I'll have to delete this blog by the time the other two are tech savvy enough to search for that little tidbit but for now, he's my last little squishy favourite baby.
The middle devil child also got hit by a car in December. It was my fault. I still kind of get mental thinking about it so maybe writing about it will make it better somehow. That's my next goal, I'll need some valium or a tranquilizer dart or something to get through it but I'll try.
Ryota and I are OK. For now. Honestly since the accident I've been giving less and less of a fuck about anything and everything which I'm sure makes me a nightmare to live with but we're surviving. 8 years this summer, who'd have thought we'd get through divorce free!?
I have a half legitimate excuse though, I pushed out another human out my minge since my last post.
So three boys it is! A lifetime of fart jokes, balls, stinky feet, moodiness. Sweet!
So yeah, the last little vinegar arrow boy was born last September, he's my favourite. I'll have to delete this blog by the time the other two are tech savvy enough to search for that little tidbit but for now, he's my last little squishy favourite baby.
The middle devil child also got hit by a car in December. It was my fault. I still kind of get mental thinking about it so maybe writing about it will make it better somehow. That's my next goal, I'll need some valium or a tranquilizer dart or something to get through it but I'll try.
Ryota and I are OK. For now. Honestly since the accident I've been giving less and less of a fuck about anything and everything which I'm sure makes me a nightmare to live with but we're surviving. 8 years this summer, who'd have thought we'd get through divorce free!?
Thursday, 11 June 2015
People in glass houses
Shouldn't throw Grandmas. Or small boys. Or anything for that matter...
I never actually realised how much glass there is in old Japanese houses but when you break it down, genkan door, sliding doors, plus all the usual back door and window fuckery.
So last week was just bad when it came to glass, first of all, after being pissed at Grandma over the whole homework thing, I wasn't not talking to her, but I wasn't making my usual small talk. I was happily relaxing at home when I heard a huge crash and glass shattering, I instantly thought a kitchen cabinet had collapsed at Grandmas house and flew up (as fast as a chubby white girl can move anyway, so really not flew but more stomped awkwardly) to see what had happened. Of course Ryota flicked his eyes up once from whatever ridiculous thing he was looking at on the computer and then went back to it despite pretty much all his surviving family members being at Grandma's house. So I get outside and do the two steps to Grandma's front door and see Grandma in a heap on the genkan floor in a bed of chunky glass that had smashed as she crashed through the door. Apparently she'd slipped trying to get up the step and had fallen backwards. Being 87 and all she had no time for balancing and went down into the door, poor old thing. In true Grandma style though she got up and walked away broken bone free and nothing but a little scratch from some glass. So bottom line- the door is fucked, Grandma is fine!
So a few days later I was at work, just finishing up a kids lesson when a happy little 7 year old shouted "Bye Bye Corinne Sensei!!!" and ran to go out the door, would have been fine, only he missed the handle and went straight through the glass door of the school. Fuuuuuucccckkkk. He stood on the other side, his face as white as mine and I thought we'd got out of it unscathed until I looked down to see a massive chunk of glass embedded in his wrist. I'm not too bad with blood, but holy fuck it started pissing out everywhere and I could see some funky shit at the bottom of his cut, it was white and not normal so I sat him down, remembered my American soap watching first aid skills and wrapped a hanky around the cut. Called Ryota AKA Mr Calm in an emergency and then called an ambulance. Now I get fucking nervous on the phone in Japanese when I'm ordering a pizza, so trying to get an ambulance was a whole new level of panic for me, I managed somehow though and after an eternity the little men came in their little ambulance and took the poor kid to hospital. 10 stitches and a new door later and we're sweet again but fuck me, I'm thinking of blocking off all glass, it's just not worth the hassle!
I never actually realised how much glass there is in old Japanese houses but when you break it down, genkan door, sliding doors, plus all the usual back door and window fuckery.
So last week was just bad when it came to glass, first of all, after being pissed at Grandma over the whole homework thing, I wasn't not talking to her, but I wasn't making my usual small talk. I was happily relaxing at home when I heard a huge crash and glass shattering, I instantly thought a kitchen cabinet had collapsed at Grandmas house and flew up (as fast as a chubby white girl can move anyway, so really not flew but more stomped awkwardly) to see what had happened. Of course Ryota flicked his eyes up once from whatever ridiculous thing he was looking at on the computer and then went back to it despite pretty much all his surviving family members being at Grandma's house. So I get outside and do the two steps to Grandma's front door and see Grandma in a heap on the genkan floor in a bed of chunky glass that had smashed as she crashed through the door. Apparently she'd slipped trying to get up the step and had fallen backwards. Being 87 and all she had no time for balancing and went down into the door, poor old thing. In true Grandma style though she got up and walked away broken bone free and nothing but a little scratch from some glass. So bottom line- the door is fucked, Grandma is fine!
So a few days later I was at work, just finishing up a kids lesson when a happy little 7 year old shouted "Bye Bye Corinne Sensei!!!" and ran to go out the door, would have been fine, only he missed the handle and went straight through the glass door of the school. Fuuuuuucccckkkk. He stood on the other side, his face as white as mine and I thought we'd got out of it unscathed until I looked down to see a massive chunk of glass embedded in his wrist. I'm not too bad with blood, but holy fuck it started pissing out everywhere and I could see some funky shit at the bottom of his cut, it was white and not normal so I sat him down, remembered my American soap watching first aid skills and wrapped a hanky around the cut. Called Ryota AKA Mr Calm in an emergency and then called an ambulance. Now I get fucking nervous on the phone in Japanese when I'm ordering a pizza, so trying to get an ambulance was a whole new level of panic for me, I managed somehow though and after an eternity the little men came in their little ambulance and took the poor kid to hospital. 10 stitches and a new door later and we're sweet again but fuck me, I'm thinking of blocking off all glass, it's just not worth the hassle!
Tuesday, 26 May 2015
Fuck it!
Scrap the moving, I thought a new place would help me get bloggy motivated but it just ain't happening. Why? Because I'm err, terribly busy (read lazy).
But in all honesty, my life is just too... good? Boring? for blogging anymore. Nobody wants to read about some chubby gaijin in Japan who spends her days working, cooking, cleaning, doing homework with their kid. Rinse repeat every fucking day of the week. But I do miss using my brain, the whole rinse repeat routine is seriously sending me even more into the depths of bimbo-ness than I already was, and I didn't even think that was possible!
So writing, even about the mundane, and occasionally the juicy, is my new-June resolution. Fucking hate May, I'm declaring May the new end of year. June shall be my new start- blogging! Running! Perfect mothering! Ok, I'll be realistic and just stick with more blogging.
An update... Ryota is splitting his time between his landscaping business and being a stay-at-home Daddy. Of course this totally throws the balance of shit out because we're all fucking cave people who can't shake the 'man work- woman stay home' even when it makes total financial sense and saves the sanity of all involved. His male pride seems to take a fair beating every few weeks, as does my maternal instincts and mother's guilt. But despite the hiccups, it is actually working. With the balance thrown off it actually stops us trying to "out-tire" each other, our roles are so different there's just no comparison anymore. Plus I'm finally learning that if your husband says "Fuck me I'm shattered!" Rather than reminding him that 'I am, also, totally fucking, cunting, WAY more shattered than you!!' It's best to give a sympathetic smile and thank him for working so hard. The peace is kept, and sometimes that's all you need.
I'm currently fighting with Great-grandma, I know, she's 87, I shouldn't engage the old thing, she might up and die on us and then I'd feel totally fucking guilty, and that would just be annoying! But really, she assured me that her or dog-fucker (who still lazes around the house all day AT 30 by the way) would be able to help Ash do his homework on days when Ryota and I were both at work, which considering we're normal functioning humans is pretty much every day. So the other day I see Ash fly by the school on his bike and knew it was way too early for him to be finished homework and came home to discover Grandma had told him he didn't have to do it. I was PISSED. Not that I give a fuck about homework, but we made a rule and there needs to be some consistency or the little bugger will never listen to me. So I yelled at Ash and told him not to listen to Grandma. She then flies in with apron flapping and tells me not to blame other people because I should be there to teach him. Ahhh, first of all, fuck off grandma! And second, it's fine if she can't teach him but the only reason I pulled him out of after school care was because she explicitly said she'd make sure he did his homework.
Anyway, like I said, not going to give her the silent treatment because who knows how long she will be around but apparently dog-fucker heard the whole exchange and is now pissed at me. She was due for a psychotic episode soon so I guess I should wait for the sparks to fly there.
Right, off to do the most exciting thing of my day- walk to the bus stop to pick Ash up from swimming! Aiming for writing only, didn't say it would be that good or exciting!
But in all honesty, my life is just too... good? Boring? for blogging anymore. Nobody wants to read about some chubby gaijin in Japan who spends her days working, cooking, cleaning, doing homework with their kid. Rinse repeat every fucking day of the week. But I do miss using my brain, the whole rinse repeat routine is seriously sending me even more into the depths of bimbo-ness than I already was, and I didn't even think that was possible!
So writing, even about the mundane, and occasionally the juicy, is my new-June resolution. Fucking hate May, I'm declaring May the new end of year. June shall be my new start- blogging! Running! Perfect mothering! Ok, I'll be realistic and just stick with more blogging.
An update... Ryota is splitting his time between his landscaping business and being a stay-at-home Daddy. Of course this totally throws the balance of shit out because we're all fucking cave people who can't shake the 'man work- woman stay home' even when it makes total financial sense and saves the sanity of all involved. His male pride seems to take a fair beating every few weeks, as does my maternal instincts and mother's guilt. But despite the hiccups, it is actually working. With the balance thrown off it actually stops us trying to "out-tire" each other, our roles are so different there's just no comparison anymore. Plus I'm finally learning that if your husband says "Fuck me I'm shattered!" Rather than reminding him that 'I am, also, totally fucking, cunting, WAY more shattered than you!!' It's best to give a sympathetic smile and thank him for working so hard. The peace is kept, and sometimes that's all you need.
I'm currently fighting with Great-grandma, I know, she's 87, I shouldn't engage the old thing, she might up and die on us and then I'd feel totally fucking guilty, and that would just be annoying! But really, she assured me that her or dog-fucker (who still lazes around the house all day AT 30 by the way) would be able to help Ash do his homework on days when Ryota and I were both at work, which considering we're normal functioning humans is pretty much every day. So the other day I see Ash fly by the school on his bike and knew it was way too early for him to be finished homework and came home to discover Grandma had told him he didn't have to do it. I was PISSED. Not that I give a fuck about homework, but we made a rule and there needs to be some consistency or the little bugger will never listen to me. So I yelled at Ash and told him not to listen to Grandma. She then flies in with apron flapping and tells me not to blame other people because I should be there to teach him. Ahhh, first of all, fuck off grandma! And second, it's fine if she can't teach him but the only reason I pulled him out of after school care was because she explicitly said she'd make sure he did his homework.
Anyway, like I said, not going to give her the silent treatment because who knows how long she will be around but apparently dog-fucker heard the whole exchange and is now pissed at me. She was due for a psychotic episode soon so I guess I should wait for the sparks to fly there.
Right, off to do the most exciting thing of my day- walk to the bus stop to pick Ash up from swimming! Aiming for writing only, didn't say it would be that good or exciting!
Thursday, 8 January 2015
Moved
Anyone still checking back in here and being bitterly disappointed with my lack of bitter writing, sorry! I'm going to attempt blogging again because I think my brain is turning into something resembling my two-year old's dinner.
Let's Japan
Let's Japan
Monday, 3 March 2014
Woah
Blogging just isn't happening for me of late is it!?
I still occasionally will stop in though, (like now when a student isn't showing up and I'm bored!) lots has happened since the last post!
*Ryota still isn't talking to his family, which actually kinda suits everyone fine, he doesn't mooch off them for free babysitting, I still go there and chat, the boys still go there... Nothing is really that bad! I'm sure he'll start talking to them again when he needs something, but it's been like 4 months now!!
*BIG news, dog-fucker has left the building!!! 2014 is a good year! She out of the blue a few weeks ago said to me, "I'm going to Thailand!" and I was like, "Cool, sounds fun, get me a fake bag on the way home!" until she explained by 'going' she meant 'living!' As much as I'm happy she's out of my way, I'm actually so much more happy that she's actually having the balls to go out on her own, work, interact with people! So good for her, I'm hoping (and expecting) she'll definitely grow up if she can stick it out there, we may even be friends when she gets back!? OK, probably not, but it just makes me have so much more respect for her already! She's supposed to stay for 2 years, I hope she can do it!
*Since the last post I've been back to Australia for a holiday. 2 lovely weeks of swimming, jogging on the beach, sausage rolls, not giving a fuck about schedules and work. Was so nice, for the first time in a long time I didn't want to come back to Japan at all. Although now I'm here I did miss my own comfy schedule, my inner Japanese person does come at times.
*Ryota and I are going pretty well, although we did have a cracker of an argument yesterday which ended up in him saying to me:
"Get out you fucking cunt!" to which I replied, "No YOU get out, you're the one who doesn't have a job!"...
To be fair to him, he doesn't realise how bad that is to say in English, but he got it once I explained that me attacking his male pride is just as bad as screaming at me to get out and that I'm a cunt. I wasn't backing down and we sorted it in the end anyway!
*Looking forward to April, Spring and the new job opportunities that will be coming what with Ryota starting his own business (aka having no job!) and me working a crazy busy new schedule at various kindergartens and my own school.
Hopefully someone out there is still reading, I promise to try harder to blog!!!
I still occasionally will stop in though, (like now when a student isn't showing up and I'm bored!) lots has happened since the last post!
*Ryota still isn't talking to his family, which actually kinda suits everyone fine, he doesn't mooch off them for free babysitting, I still go there and chat, the boys still go there... Nothing is really that bad! I'm sure he'll start talking to them again when he needs something, but it's been like 4 months now!!
*BIG news, dog-fucker has left the building!!! 2014 is a good year! She out of the blue a few weeks ago said to me, "I'm going to Thailand!" and I was like, "Cool, sounds fun, get me a fake bag on the way home!" until she explained by 'going' she meant 'living!' As much as I'm happy she's out of my way, I'm actually so much more happy that she's actually having the balls to go out on her own, work, interact with people! So good for her, I'm hoping (and expecting) she'll definitely grow up if she can stick it out there, we may even be friends when she gets back!? OK, probably not, but it just makes me have so much more respect for her already! She's supposed to stay for 2 years, I hope she can do it!
*Since the last post I've been back to Australia for a holiday. 2 lovely weeks of swimming, jogging on the beach, sausage rolls, not giving a fuck about schedules and work. Was so nice, for the first time in a long time I didn't want to come back to Japan at all. Although now I'm here I did miss my own comfy schedule, my inner Japanese person does come at times.
*Ryota and I are going pretty well, although we did have a cracker of an argument yesterday which ended up in him saying to me:
"Get out you fucking cunt!" to which I replied, "No YOU get out, you're the one who doesn't have a job!"...
To be fair to him, he doesn't realise how bad that is to say in English, but he got it once I explained that me attacking his male pride is just as bad as screaming at me to get out and that I'm a cunt. I wasn't backing down and we sorted it in the end anyway!
*Looking forward to April, Spring and the new job opportunities that will be coming what with Ryota starting his own business (aka having no job!) and me working a crazy busy new schedule at various kindergartens and my own school.
Hopefully someone out there is still reading, I promise to try harder to blog!!!
Thursday, 9 January 2014
Chopstick etiquette
I can't believe I didn't write about this!!
I hope someone coming to Japan will look up chopstick etiquette and then get sent here to read all about my ridiculous family and their countless battles...
So, things have been OK since dog fucker and I had the big blow out in summer, but still kinda, tense... It's hard to go back from big fights in my opinion. However, unless I was totally pissed off I'd decided to keep the peace (AKA keep the babysitters) from now on. Ryota made no such promise though and was the one that go into it this time.
I was actually at work so am getting the story from both sides second hand but from what I can tell:
Ryota was looking after the boys while I was working, which for a Japanese dad with family close by pretty much means 20% looking after and 80% going to their parents house while their family looks after the kids. Now usually this is OK, but dog fucker gets cranky about it at random times when she has her knickers in a twist, or she has her period, or she just feels like being a fucker. And fair enough, that's totally her right and would be completely understood in a western country.
So dog fucker had her nose out of joint to begin with as far as I can see. Then they were having dinner and it ended up as Ryota and dog fucker at the table together. Japanese family dinner usually consists of stuff in big bowls that you take stuff from and put on your own little plate, and apparently dog fucker was attacking a giant boiled radish but instead of taking it from the big bowl and putting it on her bowl to cut up and eat, she was cutting it up in the big bowl. Now Ryota pretty much told her to stop being disgusting and take it from the bowl instead of poking her spit-covered choppies and infecting the other radishes. Fuck me, even writing it is so stupid... So dog fucker took real offence to this and told him to fuck off to his own house if he didn't like it. Ryota then let his famous temper go and let rip on her about being a freakish freak who has never had to co-exist with other people, no manners, no social graces blah blah.
This escalated to Ryota hurling some fried chicken at her head and her responding with smashing a plate on the ground. I really wish I had been there if only for the comedic value.
Apparently after that it calmed down a bit and they were just ignoring each other, but about an hour later Ryota was watching telly and dog fucker ended up looking after Bailey and screamed at Ryota to look after his own fucking kid. (or something to that Japanese effect.) Now fair play to her, but still, she's such a bitch that I instantly have to take his side, plus he's supposed to be my life partner and all...
Now the person I feel sorry for is MIL, she was just an innocent bystander, when Ryota asked her who she thought was right, and she sided with dog fucker, or not even sided, but just tried to be diplomatic it seems. Now Ryota refers to them as "the bitch whores" and hasn't talked to either of them in a month. This really doesn't effect me so much except for the times when I want everyone to just piss off out of the house so I can clean it, that just never happens anymore. Lucky I don't clean that often I guess.
Not sure how it will end, Christmas and New year went by with no contact, the next event will be Ash's birthday at the end of this month but I'm guessing we'll probably end up with 2 different parties. Fun and family games!
So please, do be careful with those chopsticks, if you misuse them they may become weapons of mass radish destruction!
I hope someone coming to Japan will look up chopstick etiquette and then get sent here to read all about my ridiculous family and their countless battles...
So, things have been OK since dog fucker and I had the big blow out in summer, but still kinda, tense... It's hard to go back from big fights in my opinion. However, unless I was totally pissed off I'd decided to keep the peace (AKA keep the babysitters) from now on. Ryota made no such promise though and was the one that go into it this time.
I was actually at work so am getting the story from both sides second hand but from what I can tell:
Ryota was looking after the boys while I was working, which for a Japanese dad with family close by pretty much means 20% looking after and 80% going to their parents house while their family looks after the kids. Now usually this is OK, but dog fucker gets cranky about it at random times when she has her knickers in a twist, or she has her period, or she just feels like being a fucker. And fair enough, that's totally her right and would be completely understood in a western country.
So dog fucker had her nose out of joint to begin with as far as I can see. Then they were having dinner and it ended up as Ryota and dog fucker at the table together. Japanese family dinner usually consists of stuff in big bowls that you take stuff from and put on your own little plate, and apparently dog fucker was attacking a giant boiled radish but instead of taking it from the big bowl and putting it on her bowl to cut up and eat, she was cutting it up in the big bowl. Now Ryota pretty much told her to stop being disgusting and take it from the bowl instead of poking her spit-covered choppies and infecting the other radishes. Fuck me, even writing it is so stupid... So dog fucker took real offence to this and told him to fuck off to his own house if he didn't like it. Ryota then let his famous temper go and let rip on her about being a freakish freak who has never had to co-exist with other people, no manners, no social graces blah blah.
This escalated to Ryota hurling some fried chicken at her head and her responding with smashing a plate on the ground. I really wish I had been there if only for the comedic value.
Apparently after that it calmed down a bit and they were just ignoring each other, but about an hour later Ryota was watching telly and dog fucker ended up looking after Bailey and screamed at Ryota to look after his own fucking kid. (or something to that Japanese effect.) Now fair play to her, but still, she's such a bitch that I instantly have to take his side, plus he's supposed to be my life partner and all...
Now the person I feel sorry for is MIL, she was just an innocent bystander, when Ryota asked her who she thought was right, and she sided with dog fucker, or not even sided, but just tried to be diplomatic it seems. Now Ryota refers to them as "the bitch whores" and hasn't talked to either of them in a month. This really doesn't effect me so much except for the times when I want everyone to just piss off out of the house so I can clean it, that just never happens anymore. Lucky I don't clean that often I guess.
Not sure how it will end, Christmas and New year went by with no contact, the next event will be Ash's birthday at the end of this month but I'm guessing we'll probably end up with 2 different parties. Fun and family games!
So please, do be careful with those chopsticks, if you misuse them they may become weapons of mass radish destruction!
Tuesday, 7 January 2014
2014
I have a weird feeling about this year, I'm sure that weird feeling is just me worrying about the fact that Ryota is quitting his job in April and going it alone, but I think it will be a year of changes all round. Not sure who, or why, just a feeling.
I spent New Year's eve vomiting, which wasn't much fun! But I think it was a 12 hour bug because I was fine the next day and ready for the marathon of eating and drinking that is New Year in Japan. Was lovely, top grade beef sukiyaki, beer, wine, shochu, snacks, other people being more drunk and funnier than me, FIL giving out random 10,000 yen notes out for (drunken) otoshidama. Lovely. I really enjoy Japanese new year, now. Of course in a few years when I'm the oldest son's wife who will be responsible for putting on the new year do I'll fucking hate it, but for now it's awesome!
I didn't bother making any resolutions, because they're always the fucking same: lose weight, save money.
However I am going to work my arse off this year and get our house paid off so I can either be debt free or in another really big debt in 2015.
Ryota is still not talking to his family since he had a fight with dog fucker over chopstick etiquette and shows no signs of backing down, doesn't really effect me, I quite enjoy drama when I'm not directly involved. Who knows how that one will end.
We got back into the old routine of school and work today after the break and it feels good to be back in the swing!
Blogging is getting harder and harder for me, I just can't sit down and get all my thoughts into one cohesive block, but when I come up with something worth writing I will, no point forcing it!
Happy new year all, hope it's an excellent one!
I spent New Year's eve vomiting, which wasn't much fun! But I think it was a 12 hour bug because I was fine the next day and ready for the marathon of eating and drinking that is New Year in Japan. Was lovely, top grade beef sukiyaki, beer, wine, shochu, snacks, other people being more drunk and funnier than me, FIL giving out random 10,000 yen notes out for (drunken) otoshidama. Lovely. I really enjoy Japanese new year, now. Of course in a few years when I'm the oldest son's wife who will be responsible for putting on the new year do I'll fucking hate it, but for now it's awesome!
I didn't bother making any resolutions, because they're always the fucking same: lose weight, save money.
However I am going to work my arse off this year and get our house paid off so I can either be debt free or in another really big debt in 2015.
Ryota is still not talking to his family since he had a fight with dog fucker over chopstick etiquette and shows no signs of backing down, doesn't really effect me, I quite enjoy drama when I'm not directly involved. Who knows how that one will end.
We got back into the old routine of school and work today after the break and it feels good to be back in the swing!
Blogging is getting harder and harder for me, I just can't sit down and get all my thoughts into one cohesive block, but when I come up with something worth writing I will, no point forcing it!
Happy new year all, hope it's an excellent one!
Monday, 23 December 2013
2013 the stye
I have a stye, as in one of those annoying little fuckers on your eyelid. I've never had one before but they're really annoying! Kind of painful, itchy, not that big of a deal but still irritating enough to make you a cranky cow.
And I realised this is a perfect way to end 2013, because that was 2013 has been like for me, a stye. Personally, it's been a good year for me, two healthy kids, a decent enough marriage, good job, friends, family... But for people around me it seems to have been a really shit one, hence why this year is a stye, not that big of a deal, but not that good either.
I can think of at least 10 people I know that have lost close family members, my sister's house burned down, my dad was diagnosed with a nerve condition, my mum had both her eyes operated on, Grandma was in and out of hospital, dog fucker remained a right fucker, little brother almost died... All just crappy things that I felt pretty much helpless as I watched on.
The worst thing to happen this year was definitely earlier this month. I'm not sure if I've mentioned him on here before but about 3 years ago I had a 2 year old boy named Hayate start at the school, he'd been coming to lessons for about 2 years when he suddenly stopped for a month because they discovered cancer in his eye and he had to have his eye taken out. He came back to lessons with a patch but a few months later had to stop because he needed chemo. I went to visit him in the hospital in summer and it was heartbreaking then to see him all hooked up to tubes and with no hair, but I thought he'd pull through, he was talking, laughing, I was quizzing him on the ABC... Then I got a mail from his mum saying he'd died. Just gone, the same age as Ash, a happy, smiley, genki little boy, just gone. I went to the funeral and I just couldn't stop crying for days. Which made me feel guilty, I have no fucking right to be so upset when his mum is going through hell, but I just couldn't stop the emotion spilling out of me, I'd be jogging and think of him or his mum and dad and just have tears flowing.
So yeah, rather depressing stuff! I'm hoping 2014 won't be so shitty for everyone around me, and that this bastard stye pisses off just in time for me to drink a lot of alcohol and lounge around for new year! How was your 2013, stye-ish...?
And I realised this is a perfect way to end 2013, because that was 2013 has been like for me, a stye. Personally, it's been a good year for me, two healthy kids, a decent enough marriage, good job, friends, family... But for people around me it seems to have been a really shit one, hence why this year is a stye, not that big of a deal, but not that good either.
I can think of at least 10 people I know that have lost close family members, my sister's house burned down, my dad was diagnosed with a nerve condition, my mum had both her eyes operated on, Grandma was in and out of hospital, dog fucker remained a right fucker, little brother almost died... All just crappy things that I felt pretty much helpless as I watched on.
The worst thing to happen this year was definitely earlier this month. I'm not sure if I've mentioned him on here before but about 3 years ago I had a 2 year old boy named Hayate start at the school, he'd been coming to lessons for about 2 years when he suddenly stopped for a month because they discovered cancer in his eye and he had to have his eye taken out. He came back to lessons with a patch but a few months later had to stop because he needed chemo. I went to visit him in the hospital in summer and it was heartbreaking then to see him all hooked up to tubes and with no hair, but I thought he'd pull through, he was talking, laughing, I was quizzing him on the ABC... Then I got a mail from his mum saying he'd died. Just gone, the same age as Ash, a happy, smiley, genki little boy, just gone. I went to the funeral and I just couldn't stop crying for days. Which made me feel guilty, I have no fucking right to be so upset when his mum is going through hell, but I just couldn't stop the emotion spilling out of me, I'd be jogging and think of him or his mum and dad and just have tears flowing.
So yeah, rather depressing stuff! I'm hoping 2014 won't be so shitty for everyone around me, and that this bastard stye pisses off just in time for me to drink a lot of alcohol and lounge around for new year! How was your 2013, stye-ish...?
Thursday, 5 December 2013
Lazy
I'm even too lazy to think of a title.
I always get a comment when I haven't blogged for a while telling me to get off my lazy arse and blog. Like a lot of people, I get all my frustrations out on social media and just tend to have not much to say anymore. Sad really.
Although my facebook page is TOTALLY censored because my parents check it daily. They may read my blog too but at least it's an unsaid thing and there is still some hope that they don't know every painful and horrible detail of my life. I write that like I live in a prison camp or something, actually I have it pretty damn good these days!
I'm working hard, got the house routine down like a pro housewife minus the cheating on my husband and eating bon bons, play on the weekends, jog every morning. Pretty damn normal!
There has been one thing that is really stressful lately though, and that is the fact that Ryota just needs to suck it the fuck up and deal with what he has to do. So Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I work through from 3-8, not that long, but over the pick/up/dinner/witching hours. Ryota has to pick the kids up from 2 different kindies, get them home and feed them the dinner which I've already cooked, so just heat up basically. But without fail, every time I get home, he looks like he's just run a marathon, in a hurricane... with no shoes on and two small people attacking him. OK, the last one about 2 small people attached to him and attacking with toys/chopsticks/any sharp object is probably true, but fuck me he needs to get over it, 2 hours watching kids is not that fucking hard if you're organised about it. Of course, it's hard to say thing directly, because he goes on a rant about how he's been working hard all day and then has to look after the kids by himself, and it's a valid point, but again, no fucking bon bon eating here, I'm working!
So we got into it the other night because I tried to give him some advice, I basically told him the kids would be grumpy if they were hungry, so first priority should be to fill bellies, after that, snacks, TV, anything to keep them quiet is fine. I also suggested that he clean things as he goes, because the house that I've cleaned in the day is just a complete mess whenever I get home. I asked him why I manage to keep some kind of order when I look after the kids and he got really pissed off and told me I should finish work at 6pm, we need me to be a good mother more than the money. Which really fucking stung, and it shouldn't of, it should've just made me pissed. We don't need the fucking money?! Well not now because I earn enough! So I left the room, took some deep breaths and forgot about his comments until the next day when I calmly explained that I didn't want to go there girlfriend, but if you want to start your own business, we need my income to be stable, so please not to go spouting shit from your mouth in an argument about me working too much and neglecting my family. Which he actually listened to and apologised for (I'm getting so much fucking better at this marriage thing!).
So the night routine thing is a bit of a sore subject for us at the moment, I'm sure they'll be a big blow up in the near future, but seriously, 2 hours of kid watching 2 days a week and he's walking around like he's a single dad 24/7, fucking drama queen twat he is.
I always get a comment when I haven't blogged for a while telling me to get off my lazy arse and blog. Like a lot of people, I get all my frustrations out on social media and just tend to have not much to say anymore. Sad really.
Although my facebook page is TOTALLY censored because my parents check it daily. They may read my blog too but at least it's an unsaid thing and there is still some hope that they don't know every painful and horrible detail of my life. I write that like I live in a prison camp or something, actually I have it pretty damn good these days!
I'm working hard, got the house routine down like a pro housewife minus the cheating on my husband and eating bon bons, play on the weekends, jog every morning. Pretty damn normal!
There has been one thing that is really stressful lately though, and that is the fact that Ryota just needs to suck it the fuck up and deal with what he has to do. So Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I work through from 3-8, not that long, but over the pick/up/dinner/witching hours. Ryota has to pick the kids up from 2 different kindies, get them home and feed them the dinner which I've already cooked, so just heat up basically. But without fail, every time I get home, he looks like he's just run a marathon, in a hurricane... with no shoes on and two small people attacking him. OK, the last one about 2 small people attached to him and attacking with toys/chopsticks/any sharp object is probably true, but fuck me he needs to get over it, 2 hours watching kids is not that fucking hard if you're organised about it. Of course, it's hard to say thing directly, because he goes on a rant about how he's been working hard all day and then has to look after the kids by himself, and it's a valid point, but again, no fucking bon bon eating here, I'm working!
So we got into it the other night because I tried to give him some advice, I basically told him the kids would be grumpy if they were hungry, so first priority should be to fill bellies, after that, snacks, TV, anything to keep them quiet is fine. I also suggested that he clean things as he goes, because the house that I've cleaned in the day is just a complete mess whenever I get home. I asked him why I manage to keep some kind of order when I look after the kids and he got really pissed off and told me I should finish work at 6pm, we need me to be a good mother more than the money. Which really fucking stung, and it shouldn't of, it should've just made me pissed. We don't need the fucking money?! Well not now because I earn enough! So I left the room, took some deep breaths and forgot about his comments until the next day when I calmly explained that I didn't want to go there girlfriend, but if you want to start your own business, we need my income to be stable, so please not to go spouting shit from your mouth in an argument about me working too much and neglecting my family. Which he actually listened to and apologised for (I'm getting so much fucking better at this marriage thing!).
So the night routine thing is a bit of a sore subject for us at the moment, I'm sure they'll be a big blow up in the near future, but seriously, 2 hours of kid watching 2 days a week and he's walking around like he's a single dad 24/7, fucking drama queen twat he is.
Wednesday, 6 November 2013
30
Well I turned 30 and I didn't turn into a pumpkin or anything! It was actually a really good weekend, apart from the bit where I was going out for a few drinks and Ryota chucked a minor hissy fit about me leaving him with the kids and accused me of being a bad mother. I was almost guilted into not going too, but I did in the end. I know how he feels, I leave him with the kids a lot when I'm working but he can't seem to get the fact that I'm WORKING. If I went out every night, or even every weekend on the piss then he'd have grounds to be a little bitch, but I rarely go out on anymore so it really pisses me off that he would say that. It was all good in the end anyway.
So here is my life in a nutshell until now. Kinda scary...
0-5- I was the 2nd daughter of my British parents in Australia. White, privileged, semi-rich. My parents were both 40 when I was born so I had a pretty tame childhood.
5-12- I went to the local primary school and was a generally normal whitie. I wasn't really that smart, but always diligent and not a total dummy. Lived with Mum, Dad and older sister in the same house since I was born.
11- My sister was a total rebel and amid a blaze of fights with my Dad, moved out of home when she was 16. I felt kind of like an only child from that point. My sister was stubbornly independent so my parents poured a lot into me.
12-18- Went to the local high school and was all round average as regards to study. Again, not dumb, but not smart. I was kind of nerdy in the early years but in the end got in with the "cool" crowd and went drinking on Friday nights and stuff. I was chubby all through high school, I've always been fucking tall and usually chubby. I worked part time at a clothing shop on weekends for extra cash. Studied Japanese by chance at high school and came to Japan for the first time on a school trip for 3 weeks when I was 15. I loved my time here and I think in some ways had already decided I wanted to come back, if not live here one day.
18-21- Got into University for an arts degree and studied Japanese, just because there was absolutely nothing else that interested me. Actually university didn't really interest me, I used to go to classes and then get the fuck out as soon as I could, the only friends I really made there were ones from high school. Met my boyfriend (at a club, not at uni!) who I fell totally in love with. Looking back, maybe that's why I wasn't really interested in uni, all my time was spent with my boyfriend! Said boyfriend and I were together all through uni, until he took a job on an island very fucking far away. It was the plan that I would graduate and then join him or he would come back.
21- My beloved boyfriend dumped my arse on my 21st birthday. Looking back now, I was devastated, but I also was a chubby fucker with little to no self esteem who had only really loved one person. Still, it hit me hard, and I had to decide what the hell to do after I graduated. I contemplated working my shitty part time job full time, but the thought of going to uni when I didn't really want to, only to not use my degree at all was kind of depressing, so I decided to try an interview with NOVA to come to Japan. I got it (Anyone got a job with NOVA at that point, not that I knew that).
I went to Japan scared shitless but feeling slightly like I had fuck all to lose after having my heart broken. I moved in with a bitchy Australian girl and another awesome Australian girl, thank God for the good one, if it had just been the bitch I never would have stayed.
22-24- I drank these 2 years away with a drinking buddy, moved out of the NOVA house and into my own flat, and pretty much worked and drank. So fucking fat with all the drinking and bad food. I HATED men too, I vowed I was never going to date again. I think I needed that time though. At about 23 my drinking buddy and I decided to do a 10km run, I can't remember why, just to see if we could do it maybe...? And we did, and my love of running (which I'd always hated with a passion) began. I also lost lots of weight and screwed lots of guys, a few Japanese, but mostly bar hopping foreigners. It was a fun, but pretty messed up time for me!
24- I met Ryota at a club and we instantly started dating, it was bliss and I remember thinking, "Fuck I'm fucking falling in love again!" 2 months of bliss and my period was late, a home test said "pregnant" and my life was to change forever. Ryota hadn't even said "I love you" yet and we were talking about when we should get married, it was surreal. We went to a clinic in Osaka to check I was actually pregnant and to discuss options, but after hearing about abortion, (to which I've always been/ still am pro-choice) we went for hamburgers and I just couldn't stop crying whenever I thought about it. Strange, because I would think I would instantly consider abortion in that situation, it just wasn't an option for me, plus Ryota wasn't keen on an abortion but said he's support me whatever.
25- I quit my job and went back to Australia for 3 months for Ash to be born. The birth and motherhood in general was the hardest thing I'd ever attempted, I wasn't a natural by any means. Ryota worked for a small landscaping company which had it's good points but the work wasn't reliable and the hours were long. I took a year off to see if I was the housewife type. We also needed a place to live, and by a stroke of luck (or not perhaps) the house opposite Grandma's house was empty and the owner was very happy for us to live there and pay 30,000 yen a month rent (dirt cheap for a house).
26- I wasn't. I think the year I took off with Ash was the most boring and hard of my life. Not only is being a stay at home mum exhausting, it also has very little rewards or appreciation, so I started looking for private students to teach at McDonald's. And I got more than I could handle and decided that when Ash was 1, I was either going back to my old job, or I was going to start my own school. And so we got Ash into kindy and started searching for a place to rent. It took a long time and we looked at so many places, but finally decided on a place near our house that had been deserted for the past 10 years. It was a daunting decision, but there really wasn't that much risk involved, we forked out about $10,000 to renovate the space but apart from that and the furniture there wasn't that much invested.
26-28- I worked hard to build up the school and raise Ash, it was busy at times but I also knew I wanted more than one kid, so I couldn't focus everything on the school until I was sure I was done popping out kids. It was then that I went off the pill and little Bailey was made, I got pregnant in a month, I thought Ash might have been a fluke but no, I'm just really damn fertile.
28- Bailey was born and I never stopped working, because even when you get another teacher in, you never stop working when it's your own school. Ryota and I went through the toughest time of our marriage and I actually thought I was going to join the shotgun marriage statistic majority and be a divorcee with 2 little kids. We got an offer to buy our house for a ridiculously cheap price and took the chance. At the pace we're going it will be paid off next year.
29- Was all about the school and raising the kiddies.
30- So the next step?? Keep the school going, keep the kids alive, try not to end up divorced. And I actually want another baby, as fucking mental as it is. Can't help those damn motherly instincts.
So here is my life in a nutshell until now. Kinda scary...
0-5- I was the 2nd daughter of my British parents in Australia. White, privileged, semi-rich. My parents were both 40 when I was born so I had a pretty tame childhood.
5-12- I went to the local primary school and was a generally normal whitie. I wasn't really that smart, but always diligent and not a total dummy. Lived with Mum, Dad and older sister in the same house since I was born.
11- My sister was a total rebel and amid a blaze of fights with my Dad, moved out of home when she was 16. I felt kind of like an only child from that point. My sister was stubbornly independent so my parents poured a lot into me.
12-18- Went to the local high school and was all round average as regards to study. Again, not dumb, but not smart. I was kind of nerdy in the early years but in the end got in with the "cool" crowd and went drinking on Friday nights and stuff. I was chubby all through high school, I've always been fucking tall and usually chubby. I worked part time at a clothing shop on weekends for extra cash. Studied Japanese by chance at high school and came to Japan for the first time on a school trip for 3 weeks when I was 15. I loved my time here and I think in some ways had already decided I wanted to come back, if not live here one day.
18-21- Got into University for an arts degree and studied Japanese, just because there was absolutely nothing else that interested me. Actually university didn't really interest me, I used to go to classes and then get the fuck out as soon as I could, the only friends I really made there were ones from high school. Met my boyfriend (at a club, not at uni!) who I fell totally in love with. Looking back, maybe that's why I wasn't really interested in uni, all my time was spent with my boyfriend! Said boyfriend and I were together all through uni, until he took a job on an island very fucking far away. It was the plan that I would graduate and then join him or he would come back.
21- My beloved boyfriend dumped my arse on my 21st birthday. Looking back now, I was devastated, but I also was a chubby fucker with little to no self esteem who had only really loved one person. Still, it hit me hard, and I had to decide what the hell to do after I graduated. I contemplated working my shitty part time job full time, but the thought of going to uni when I didn't really want to, only to not use my degree at all was kind of depressing, so I decided to try an interview with NOVA to come to Japan. I got it (Anyone got a job with NOVA at that point, not that I knew that).
I went to Japan scared shitless but feeling slightly like I had fuck all to lose after having my heart broken. I moved in with a bitchy Australian girl and another awesome Australian girl, thank God for the good one, if it had just been the bitch I never would have stayed.
22-24- I drank these 2 years away with a drinking buddy, moved out of the NOVA house and into my own flat, and pretty much worked and drank. So fucking fat with all the drinking and bad food. I HATED men too, I vowed I was never going to date again. I think I needed that time though. At about 23 my drinking buddy and I decided to do a 10km run, I can't remember why, just to see if we could do it maybe...? And we did, and my love of running (which I'd always hated with a passion) began. I also lost lots of weight and screwed lots of guys, a few Japanese, but mostly bar hopping foreigners. It was a fun, but pretty messed up time for me!
24- I met Ryota at a club and we instantly started dating, it was bliss and I remember thinking, "Fuck I'm fucking falling in love again!" 2 months of bliss and my period was late, a home test said "pregnant" and my life was to change forever. Ryota hadn't even said "I love you" yet and we were talking about when we should get married, it was surreal. We went to a clinic in Osaka to check I was actually pregnant and to discuss options, but after hearing about abortion, (to which I've always been/ still am pro-choice) we went for hamburgers and I just couldn't stop crying whenever I thought about it. Strange, because I would think I would instantly consider abortion in that situation, it just wasn't an option for me, plus Ryota wasn't keen on an abortion but said he's support me whatever.
25- I quit my job and went back to Australia for 3 months for Ash to be born. The birth and motherhood in general was the hardest thing I'd ever attempted, I wasn't a natural by any means. Ryota worked for a small landscaping company which had it's good points but the work wasn't reliable and the hours were long. I took a year off to see if I was the housewife type. We also needed a place to live, and by a stroke of luck (or not perhaps) the house opposite Grandma's house was empty and the owner was very happy for us to live there and pay 30,000 yen a month rent (dirt cheap for a house).
26- I wasn't. I think the year I took off with Ash was the most boring and hard of my life. Not only is being a stay at home mum exhausting, it also has very little rewards or appreciation, so I started looking for private students to teach at McDonald's. And I got more than I could handle and decided that when Ash was 1, I was either going back to my old job, or I was going to start my own school. And so we got Ash into kindy and started searching for a place to rent. It took a long time and we looked at so many places, but finally decided on a place near our house that had been deserted for the past 10 years. It was a daunting decision, but there really wasn't that much risk involved, we forked out about $10,000 to renovate the space but apart from that and the furniture there wasn't that much invested.
26-28- I worked hard to build up the school and raise Ash, it was busy at times but I also knew I wanted more than one kid, so I couldn't focus everything on the school until I was sure I was done popping out kids. It was then that I went off the pill and little Bailey was made, I got pregnant in a month, I thought Ash might have been a fluke but no, I'm just really damn fertile.
28- Bailey was born and I never stopped working, because even when you get another teacher in, you never stop working when it's your own school. Ryota and I went through the toughest time of our marriage and I actually thought I was going to join the shotgun marriage statistic majority and be a divorcee with 2 little kids. We got an offer to buy our house for a ridiculously cheap price and took the chance. At the pace we're going it will be paid off next year.
29- Was all about the school and raising the kiddies.
30- So the next step?? Keep the school going, keep the kids alive, try not to end up divorced. And I actually want another baby, as fucking mental as it is. Can't help those damn motherly instincts.
Thursday, 31 October 2013
Oct-fuck-off-ober
October kicks my arse all over the place. It's long and it involves lots of work that goes into the school Halloween party, which despite all the effort and money spent, was well worth it and I actually managed to enjoy myself this year!
October seems to be a busy month in general for the school, lots of new students which is great, but just means between housework and kid raising I have very little time to myself. Although I say that, I've somehow managed a 4-day weekend starting from 11 tomorrow, partly by luck and partly because it's my 30th birthday so I took Saturday off. I have mixed feelings about turning 30, in some ways I'm looking forward to the next stage of my life, but I sometimes can't help feeling like I wasted the first half of my 20's getting drunk and collapsing on Izakaya floors, and the second half being pregnant and with kids! The realisation that I've spent ALL my 20's in Japan is kind of frightening too... Woah...
There has been very little to blog about, Ryota and I have been getting on well, almost too well, almost too well to the point I suspect him cheating or something, but I think as we get older we just learn how to piss each other off less, a good thing, I'm actually only just starting to kind of enjoy and appreciate being married. Bizarre, only took me 5 years... It could also be the fact that h bit the bullet and bought a truck to start his own business, which he knows won't happen if I don't support him for probably about a year. I've decided to stop with the fucking negativity, know if he fails then he can just get another job and I make enough money for us anyway, and that I should let him try because otherwise we'd always wonder what could have been. So he quits at the end of the year, that's also a scary/exciting new chapter to look forward to!
Everyone else is pretty much the same Ryota and I work, look after the kids, dog-fucker lounges around the house, MIL is still kinda crazy, and BIL is still the same old lazy shit but with a disability excuse and Grandma keeps on keeping on, never seems to get old and frail that woman!
So I'm hoping for more blogging time now that October is over, not promising anything but if something exciting happens I'll be sure to jot it down. I think I should write something about turning 30, maybe I'll do a break-down of my life so far in case I go senile and I want some kind of reminder of my life so far. I should get tanked before I write it, it will be may more interesting.
October seems to be a busy month in general for the school, lots of new students which is great, but just means between housework and kid raising I have very little time to myself. Although I say that, I've somehow managed a 4-day weekend starting from 11 tomorrow, partly by luck and partly because it's my 30th birthday so I took Saturday off. I have mixed feelings about turning 30, in some ways I'm looking forward to the next stage of my life, but I sometimes can't help feeling like I wasted the first half of my 20's getting drunk and collapsing on Izakaya floors, and the second half being pregnant and with kids! The realisation that I've spent ALL my 20's in Japan is kind of frightening too... Woah...
There has been very little to blog about, Ryota and I have been getting on well, almost too well, almost too well to the point I suspect him cheating or something, but I think as we get older we just learn how to piss each other off less, a good thing, I'm actually only just starting to kind of enjoy and appreciate being married. Bizarre, only took me 5 years... It could also be the fact that h bit the bullet and bought a truck to start his own business, which he knows won't happen if I don't support him for probably about a year. I've decided to stop with the fucking negativity, know if he fails then he can just get another job and I make enough money for us anyway, and that I should let him try because otherwise we'd always wonder what could have been. So he quits at the end of the year, that's also a scary/exciting new chapter to look forward to!
Everyone else is pretty much the same Ryota and I work, look after the kids, dog-fucker lounges around the house, MIL is still kinda crazy, and BIL is still the same old lazy shit but with a disability excuse and Grandma keeps on keeping on, never seems to get old and frail that woman!
So I'm hoping for more blogging time now that October is over, not promising anything but if something exciting happens I'll be sure to jot it down. I think I should write something about turning 30, maybe I'll do a break-down of my life so far in case I go senile and I want some kind of reminder of my life so far. I should get tanked before I write it, it will be may more interesting.
Thursday, 3 October 2013
Dog fucker fireworks, part II
And they don't involve me, score!
Dog fucker and I are on basic terms now, as in we're not chatty, but we're not ignoring each other. This suits me, I'm good with fake harmony.
This week has been full of fireworks though, this time with the rare combo of dog fucker and little brother. Dog fucker has had a fight with basically all of us, big ones with Ryota, me and to a certain extent mother-in-law, but usually little brother stays out of it (probably because he's fighting for his life most the time, but still).
Back story, so it's been 6 months since little brother collapsed and was pretty much near death, so he went to the big hospital in Osaka for a check and assessment where the Doctor didn't mince words and pretty much told him although he was lucky to be alive, that he was pretty much fucked and due to his IQ being 59 (the norm is about 90 apparently) he was officially classed as mentally disabled. Now maybe I'm a bit too positive, but I was like "That's good news! It means you can get benefits if you can't work!" and I was serious, it would be great if he can have a normal life, but if he can't because he's genuinely disabled then at least he'll be entitled to something from the government. But he didn't see it like that and got quite depressed and... angry? with life in general. So everyone was kind of stepping on eggshells around him and being careful with what they said.
So Grandma's house is under reform, not professionally or anything, just new kitchen stuff and DIY jobs, Ryota replaced the roof vents and other little shit, then little brother and dog fucker, being the only able bodied ones who aren't working full time, were in charge of painting the kitchen. So apparently, little brother started getting things ready and was ordering dog fucker around in a very high and mighty manner (according to her but she's fucking mental, so who knows). It then escalated to him throwing a roll of masking tape at her, to her throwing a fry pan at him (crazy fucking bitch!) and him grabbing her and throwing her across the kitchen.
Fucking mental, the lot of them!
I'm inclined to not believe dog fucker, just because I don't like her, but her arm was covered in bruises which was a little worrying. She went to Ryota and asked him to talk to little brother but we think his anger at his own situation might be coming out in various ways and talking to him might not even do any good. I don't know though, I think that his IQ was the same as when before he collapsed, he's never been the sharpest tool in the shed, and I'm convinced he's no dumber than he was before! It's just there is a number put on it now! He's maybe a bit slower, as in physically, but that's about it to me...
Anyway, there is lots going on at the moment as in family fighting, but nothing really to do with me which makes for boring blog fodder. Ryota and I are... good?! No threats of divorce from me for at least the last few months and we're being very reasonable with each other, kinda freakin' me out! Work is busier than ever and I'm getting ready for my mammoth Halloween party, hopefully something blog worthy will happen soon though!
Dog fucker and I are on basic terms now, as in we're not chatty, but we're not ignoring each other. This suits me, I'm good with fake harmony.
This week has been full of fireworks though, this time with the rare combo of dog fucker and little brother. Dog fucker has had a fight with basically all of us, big ones with Ryota, me and to a certain extent mother-in-law, but usually little brother stays out of it (probably because he's fighting for his life most the time, but still).
Back story, so it's been 6 months since little brother collapsed and was pretty much near death, so he went to the big hospital in Osaka for a check and assessment where the Doctor didn't mince words and pretty much told him although he was lucky to be alive, that he was pretty much fucked and due to his IQ being 59 (the norm is about 90 apparently) he was officially classed as mentally disabled. Now maybe I'm a bit too positive, but I was like "That's good news! It means you can get benefits if you can't work!" and I was serious, it would be great if he can have a normal life, but if he can't because he's genuinely disabled then at least he'll be entitled to something from the government. But he didn't see it like that and got quite depressed and... angry? with life in general. So everyone was kind of stepping on eggshells around him and being careful with what they said.
So Grandma's house is under reform, not professionally or anything, just new kitchen stuff and DIY jobs, Ryota replaced the roof vents and other little shit, then little brother and dog fucker, being the only able bodied ones who aren't working full time, were in charge of painting the kitchen. So apparently, little brother started getting things ready and was ordering dog fucker around in a very high and mighty manner (according to her but she's fucking mental, so who knows). It then escalated to him throwing a roll of masking tape at her, to her throwing a fry pan at him (crazy fucking bitch!) and him grabbing her and throwing her across the kitchen.
Fucking mental, the lot of them!
I'm inclined to not believe dog fucker, just because I don't like her, but her arm was covered in bruises which was a little worrying. She went to Ryota and asked him to talk to little brother but we think his anger at his own situation might be coming out in various ways and talking to him might not even do any good. I don't know though, I think that his IQ was the same as when before he collapsed, he's never been the sharpest tool in the shed, and I'm convinced he's no dumber than he was before! It's just there is a number put on it now! He's maybe a bit slower, as in physically, but that's about it to me...
Anyway, there is lots going on at the moment as in family fighting, but nothing really to do with me which makes for boring blog fodder. Ryota and I are... good?! No threats of divorce from me for at least the last few months and we're being very reasonable with each other, kinda freakin' me out! Work is busier than ever and I'm getting ready for my mammoth Halloween party, hopefully something blog worthy will happen soon though!
Thursday, 26 September 2013
Loco in Hyogo!
OK, Loco in Yokohama but through the wonders of modern technology, Loco came into my living room for an intimate little chit chat. Ain't modern gizmos grand?!
1) So Loco, another book?? What, one published masterpiece wasn’t enough for you??
Nah...won't be satisfied until my name becomes synonymous with the best writing on life in Japan for non-Japanese on the market, my name goes down in history as one of the finest writers of our time, and I can pay off my debts with money to spare. I suspect I'm gonna need a few more masterpieces before I achieve any of the above. That's of course, accepting the premise that my first book and this one are masterpieces, which I'm too superstitious to do. I'll leave that to the readers to decide. But thanks for the vote of confidence. Coming from a talented writer like you, that means a lot!
2) What makes this book different to the first one?
Well, the first book was about the racist inclinations I've experienced (and seen in others) over the course of my entire life, a pretty extensive and unsparing study on a personal level. This new book is nothing like that. It begins and remains in nearly the present, and its focus is not directly on race (though as a foreigner living in Japan as it stands, pretty much race, to some degree, is a factor in practically every equation whether we want to acknowledge / accept that fact or not) but on relationships. I believe ones experience here, and everywhere, depends a great deal on the relationships one forms, and this book deals directly with the relationships I've formed through working here as a teacher, with both the students and the teachers.
6) Your material is focused a lot on racism, (Do I sound racist asking that question?!) how do you think your experience in Japan / as a writer would be different if you were white?
If I were white??? Well, that's a difficult question. I can't even imagine how I'd view , or how I'd be viewed, in the world, let alone Japan, if I were white. The way I see white, as I explained in my first book, is as varied as black. I don't even think nationality can quite limit the mindsets that fall under that umbrella term white. I approach people as individuals, not as a member of a race, and I expect the same courtesy and consideration in return... It took a great many years and experiences to get to that frame of mind, and that approach to humanity. I thought I had gotten to a point when I was incapable of going back to the mindset where I'd see not only race but make certain presumptions about the person based on that racial designation. That was a much simpler task in New York, I gotta tell ya. It was once I moved to Japan that I found myself slowly and insidiously ceasing to do that, and ultimately viewing Japanese through a single racial lens, that I realized a great deal about myself. And that was one of the issues that prompted me to write the book, "Hi! My Name is Loco and I am a Racist".
Thanks
again for having me, Corinne! You're the best, and I know most of the people
charmed by and able to fully appreciate your brilliance and frankness are
pretty damn cool, too. When my "Japan Tour" comes through your neck
of the woods, expect me to pop up at your door one day bearing gifts.
But in all seriousness,writing a book, like most big achievements
in life, is something that few people will ever get round to actually doing. In
the blogging world it’s even more frustrating, because there are people all
over the place who love writing, but they can never push their lazy arses
beyond the safety of a blog. Loco, already famous round these here parts, needs
no introduction. He is not only talented but he has had the will and drive to
write not one, but two books in what seems to me to be a very short amount of
time to me. Maybe he has a warehouse full of Japanese girls in mini-skirts and
false eyelashes typing for him, who knows. But I have come to respect and
ponder his opinions and take on all things Japan, plus I share his love of
ramen so how could we not get along. I asked him a few questions before, but
here are 7 more minutes in heaven with Loco! (Don’t be a cunt, buy his book!)
1) So Loco, another book?? What, one published masterpiece wasn’t enough for you??
Nah...won't be satisfied until my name becomes synonymous with the best writing on life in Japan for non-Japanese on the market, my name goes down in history as one of the finest writers of our time, and I can pay off my debts with money to spare. I suspect I'm gonna need a few more masterpieces before I achieve any of the above. That's of course, accepting the premise that my first book and this one are masterpieces, which I'm too superstitious to do. I'll leave that to the readers to decide. But thanks for the vote of confidence. Coming from a talented writer like you, that means a lot!
2) What makes this book different to the first one?
Well, the first book was about the racist inclinations I've experienced (and seen in others) over the course of my entire life, a pretty extensive and unsparing study on a personal level. This new book is nothing like that. It begins and remains in nearly the present, and its focus is not directly on race (though as a foreigner living in Japan as it stands, pretty much race, to some degree, is a factor in practically every equation whether we want to acknowledge / accept that fact or not) but on relationships. I believe ones experience here, and everywhere, depends a great deal on the relationships one forms, and this book deals directly with the relationships I've formed through working here as a teacher, with both the students and the teachers.
3)
Why should we buy your books
and not just read your blog?
Actually,
you should do both, if you're so inclined. While the material in the book is
derived from material that once graced the pages of my blog (I pulled it a
couple of years back in anticipation of this), unless you're a long-term reader
of the blog, this material will be entirely new to you. And even if you are a
long-time reader, the blog version of these stories were like a first draft
parceled out in morsels. I've weaved those stories into a cohesive hole, which
I believe is a great deal more substantial than the sum of its parts. Again
I'll leave it to those handful of readers who have been down with Loco in
Yokohama since its inception-- assuming they even recall these tales-- to
decide if I've done them justice in the editing process.
4)
Due to the wonders of social
media I’ve been seeing some video shenanigans going on, what’s all this about??
I’m guessing this is good news for those of us with short attention spans?
Indeed!
Your boy, Loco has been putting together something of a documentary-style book
trailer. I don't want to give too much away, but I was motivated by a need to
know what kind of impact my presence here in Japan has made among Japanese
people, and so it will contain candid interviews with a dozen or so Japanese
people giving their impressions of Loco. I won't say it'll be ideal for those
with attention spans as short as squirrels, but if you can sit through an
entertaining and enlightening 10-15 minutes of real talk from real folk, in
nihongo (subtitled of course), you're sure to enjoy this!
5)
Describe your life in Japan in
5 words.
Hilarious,
Hortative, Humbling, Hypocritical and Hentai (just kidding...kinda) I mean
Hygienic.6) Your material is focused a lot on racism, (Do I sound racist asking that question?!) how do you think your experience in Japan / as a writer would be different if you were white?
If I were white??? Well, that's a difficult question. I can't even imagine how I'd view , or how I'd be viewed, in the world, let alone Japan, if I were white. The way I see white, as I explained in my first book, is as varied as black. I don't even think nationality can quite limit the mindsets that fall under that umbrella term white. I approach people as individuals, not as a member of a race, and I expect the same courtesy and consideration in return... It took a great many years and experiences to get to that frame of mind, and that approach to humanity. I thought I had gotten to a point when I was incapable of going back to the mindset where I'd see not only race but make certain presumptions about the person based on that racial designation. That was a much simpler task in New York, I gotta tell ya. It was once I moved to Japan that I found myself slowly and insidiously ceasing to do that, and ultimately viewing Japanese through a single racial lens, that I realized a great deal about myself. And that was one of the issues that prompted me to write the book, "Hi! My Name is Loco and I am a Racist".
But,
from what I've observed and learned of Japanese ideas about and treatment of
so-called white people, I would imagine that if I were white, but still somehow
me (which is, I think, impossible) I would like to think I'd realize
that I've actually been given the rare opportunity to view privilege from
another perspective, from an underprivileged point of view. What it feels like
to be on the business end of stigmatization, asserted generalizations, or even
undeserved aggrandizement and worship. As a writer, what would I do with that
amazing gift? This Jonathan Swift's Gulliver-esque slant on the world? Again,
I'd like to think I'd use it to help people understand how those privileges
came to be, the inherent responsibilities of being privileged, and the
likeliness and dangers of abusing said privileges. And perhaps I'm guilty of
being as overly critical or highly sensitive as Swift when it comes to human
nature. But that's just me imagining.
7)
So what’s next? World tour?
Japan tour? Another book? Give us a sneak peek!
Well,
another book, and another, and another, until I'm satisfied, which I can't
imagine I'll ever be. A world tour would be nice. Let's see how this book does.
I still think the first book hasn't reached its fullest potential yet. A Japan
tour seems likely, but again I have to wait until the reviews are in. People
ultimately hold my fate as a writer in their hands. If people demand the world
know of me, then that will happen. If they insist I vanish into obscurity, than
that too will happen. Happens all the time. I'm of the mind that my job as a
writer is to seek truth through writing. In my first book, as readers learned,
I'm not afraid to "go there" and to do so with purpose and
forthrightness. I've done so again with this book, I believe. As I will with my
next project, which is essentially an un-scholarly black history book written
from a personal perspective, unrelated to Japan this time. We'll see if the
world wants a piece of Loco!
As I've mentioned before, Loco is a perfect gentleman, I've never had the pleasure of meeting him in real life but it would be an honour to do so!
Wednesday, 11 September 2013
New ventures
I'm all about stability. Security. Safe. Constant.
Which is why I fit in so well in Japan (despite totally sticking out). I don't necessarily like the old 'nail that sticks out' philosophy, but honestly, I'm comfortable enough with it. Which kind of negates my foreignness here to be honest, I'm not meant to agree with the whole lemming ideology, I'm foreign! I'm meant to be loud and obnoxious and disagree! And on some things I do, but on most things, I'm quite contented to keep my big mouth firmly shut and keep going.
So why the hell did I marry Ryota who is the total opposite?!?! Oh that's right, I was preggers... Oops.
But then maybe I got to thinking that it wasn't just because I got pregnant, maybe it was because if I married someone totally similar to me, I'd get bored, or get stuck in a rut and go slightly mental...? Nah, it probably was just because I got pregnant, but it's nice to romanticise the whole thing sometimes...
So Ryota has never been a 'same company for life' guy, he's not a salary man, which is the first step I guess. Once Ash was born he started working for the city, which was his way of trying to settle down, but he's just not cut out for the Japanese way of licking your boss' arsehole for 40 years until you get your pension. I'm not all that bothered about the arsehole licking, if I liked my job, it paid reasonable well and I was generally happy I think I could be a salary man type. Which is weird considering now Ryota has the stable arse licking job and I have my own business prone to risk and sudden changes.
I like owning my own school though, I wouldn't change it for anything, which is where we have a slight hiccup. Maybe not even a hiccup, but a hiccup of sorts for a person like me who is prone to worry about change. At the moment, I earn more than Ryota, but my income isn't stable, it can fall and rise from month to month. It never varies that much, but it very well could and I'm aware of this. Where as Ryota's salary is constant, we can always depend on it, bar him falling out of a tree while cutting it or something like that. And the hiccup comes when Ryota wants to quit his job AKA my security blanket, and go out on his own.
And the thing that is making it so hard, is that I'm sure he'll be successful, maybe more successful than me, but any business is a risk. My business was/is a risk, but we always had Ryota's salary to fall back on if anything happened. If Ryota starts his own business in all likelihood we'll have two successful businesses and more money that we do now, but there will also be factors like his starting up period when the pressure is on me, the fact that winter will be an off season for him, and just the general stress of being a two business household.
So it freaks me out a little! Although there is BIG money in his type of work, just recently he did a one and a half day job for ￥60,000, and that is the cheap end!
I want to support him, and relaying my fears of the risks come across as negativity, so I'm reluctant, especially when he's always supported my efforts with the school. Maybe blogging those fears will make it a bit easier.
I've become more and more safe as I get older, no more tattoos, roller coasters have started to scare me a bit, I worry about sleeping with my shoulders bare, but maybe I just have to say, "fuck it" and not worry about the risks, there is part of me that realises his and/or my failures would lead to a new adventure anyway.
Which is why I fit in so well in Japan (despite totally sticking out). I don't necessarily like the old 'nail that sticks out' philosophy, but honestly, I'm comfortable enough with it. Which kind of negates my foreignness here to be honest, I'm not meant to agree with the whole lemming ideology, I'm foreign! I'm meant to be loud and obnoxious and disagree! And on some things I do, but on most things, I'm quite contented to keep my big mouth firmly shut and keep going.
So why the hell did I marry Ryota who is the total opposite?!?! Oh that's right, I was preggers... Oops.
But then maybe I got to thinking that it wasn't just because I got pregnant, maybe it was because if I married someone totally similar to me, I'd get bored, or get stuck in a rut and go slightly mental...? Nah, it probably was just because I got pregnant, but it's nice to romanticise the whole thing sometimes...
So Ryota has never been a 'same company for life' guy, he's not a salary man, which is the first step I guess. Once Ash was born he started working for the city, which was his way of trying to settle down, but he's just not cut out for the Japanese way of licking your boss' arsehole for 40 years until you get your pension. I'm not all that bothered about the arsehole licking, if I liked my job, it paid reasonable well and I was generally happy I think I could be a salary man type. Which is weird considering now Ryota has the stable arse licking job and I have my own business prone to risk and sudden changes.
I like owning my own school though, I wouldn't change it for anything, which is where we have a slight hiccup. Maybe not even a hiccup, but a hiccup of sorts for a person like me who is prone to worry about change. At the moment, I earn more than Ryota, but my income isn't stable, it can fall and rise from month to month. It never varies that much, but it very well could and I'm aware of this. Where as Ryota's salary is constant, we can always depend on it, bar him falling out of a tree while cutting it or something like that. And the hiccup comes when Ryota wants to quit his job AKA my security blanket, and go out on his own.
And the thing that is making it so hard, is that I'm sure he'll be successful, maybe more successful than me, but any business is a risk. My business was/is a risk, but we always had Ryota's salary to fall back on if anything happened. If Ryota starts his own business in all likelihood we'll have two successful businesses and more money that we do now, but there will also be factors like his starting up period when the pressure is on me, the fact that winter will be an off season for him, and just the general stress of being a two business household.
So it freaks me out a little! Although there is BIG money in his type of work, just recently he did a one and a half day job for ￥60,000, and that is the cheap end!
I want to support him, and relaying my fears of the risks come across as negativity, so I'm reluctant, especially when he's always supported my efforts with the school. Maybe blogging those fears will make it a bit easier.
I've become more and more safe as I get older, no more tattoos, roller coasters have started to scare me a bit, I worry about sleeping with my shoulders bare, but maybe I just have to say, "fuck it" and not worry about the risks, there is part of me that realises his and/or my failures would lead to a new adventure anyway.
Monday, 9 September 2013
Keeping the peace
So it has been over 2 months that dog fucker and I have been fighting, which is long for me! It helped that I really don't like her so I didn't feel guilty at all. I did feel guilty for Ryota, MIL and Grandma though, I know first hand how stressful it can be to live in an environment where you're torn between two fighting family members.
So we've been civilly ignoring each other lately, but there were more fireworks on Friday night when I did a late night coffee run and managed to totally piss dog fucker off. I asked if anyone wanted anything, but I asked MIL, so it looked like I was asking MIL and not dog-fucker. I get that she thought I was being hostile by not asking her directly (because I kinda was) but what the fuck else did she expect me to do?? "Hmmm haven't talked to you in months dog-fucker, and we're quite openly fighting, but can I get you a coffee... cake... high tea perhaps??" I felt it was just awkward to ask her directly, so I didn't. And she had a hissy fit, and Ryota went mental at her for being a big baby about it. (God bless the man he can be an absolute wanker but he does always defend me in these situations!) I just wanted to ignore it and keep the ignoring up, but Grandma was like, "You should apologise Corinne!" and then I lost it and told them to quit poking their beaks in and slammed the door. Which was possibly childish, but standing in the genkan with all of them (seemingly) up against me when I felt like I had no other choice, got a bit rat-in-a-corner-ish.
So I was actually really upset that night, because I don't like fighting, I don't thrive on making other people miserable, and I was contemplating the fact that not only was I away from my real family, but that I may very well be left with no Japanese family either. Scary for me, I'm a total cuddle while sleeping person, I don't like being alone for long periods of time.
So the next morning Ryota went to work and I was getting ready to go teach, when dog fucker came over and said "Do you have a minute...?" And I was all shocked and unprepared and kind of apprehensive without Ryota there. So she said she didn't want to apologise for the original fight but she didn't want to keep fighting. And I was like, 'Yeah, pretty much me too.' So we basically agreed to disagree on the movie issue, I apologised for the coffee run debacle and I promised that the next time I was pissed off with her, I would try really hard just to yell and get it over with. I'll NEVER be anything close to friends with dog fucker, but it is much better for all involved when we can be normal around one another!
Not much else is happening, I'm busy working and dieting, Ryota is busy working and getting ready to start his own business (another post, but it's going well!!) kids are good, life is boring!
So we've been civilly ignoring each other lately, but there were more fireworks on Friday night when I did a late night coffee run and managed to totally piss dog fucker off. I asked if anyone wanted anything, but I asked MIL, so it looked like I was asking MIL and not dog-fucker. I get that she thought I was being hostile by not asking her directly (because I kinda was) but what the fuck else did she expect me to do?? "Hmmm haven't talked to you in months dog-fucker, and we're quite openly fighting, but can I get you a coffee... cake... high tea perhaps??" I felt it was just awkward to ask her directly, so I didn't. And she had a hissy fit, and Ryota went mental at her for being a big baby about it. (God bless the man he can be an absolute wanker but he does always defend me in these situations!) I just wanted to ignore it and keep the ignoring up, but Grandma was like, "You should apologise Corinne!" and then I lost it and told them to quit poking their beaks in and slammed the door. Which was possibly childish, but standing in the genkan with all of them (seemingly) up against me when I felt like I had no other choice, got a bit rat-in-a-corner-ish.
So I was actually really upset that night, because I don't like fighting, I don't thrive on making other people miserable, and I was contemplating the fact that not only was I away from my real family, but that I may very well be left with no Japanese family either. Scary for me, I'm a total cuddle while sleeping person, I don't like being alone for long periods of time.
So the next morning Ryota went to work and I was getting ready to go teach, when dog fucker came over and said "Do you have a minute...?" And I was all shocked and unprepared and kind of apprehensive without Ryota there. So she said she didn't want to apologise for the original fight but she didn't want to keep fighting. And I was like, 'Yeah, pretty much me too.' So we basically agreed to disagree on the movie issue, I apologised for the coffee run debacle and I promised that the next time I was pissed off with her, I would try really hard just to yell and get it over with. I'll NEVER be anything close to friends with dog fucker, but it is much better for all involved when we can be normal around one another!
Not much else is happening, I'm busy working and dieting, Ryota is busy working and getting ready to start his own business (another post, but it's going well!!) kids are good, life is boring!
Tuesday, 27 August 2013
To stay or to go
I'm not done with Japan, as much as I bitch about life here, I'm not done, otherwise I'd already be gone.
That said, there are more and more reasons to make a new life in Australia. The only thing that keeps us here, really, is money. Plain and simple, because it makes the world go round and shit. Basically, we may be able to make it big in Australia, but it's a big 'may', and it's a big risk to take when we have it so good here.
So the reasons to leave Japan are:
*Ryota's family will not be missed by me, and not that much by him.
*Ash will be able to start primary school in Australia next January.
*I will have my family and friends who I miss so much.
*We will live near the beach and not have to be worried about a monster tsunami swallowing us up for dinner.
*If I want to have another baby, I will have maternity leave/ government support to do so.
*It will be a new adventure.
And the reasons to stay are:
*Not only financial security, but wealth. We are making money to save now, if we move, it will be money to survive/get on our feet for the near future.
*Life is comfortable here, we know exactly how things are going to go.
*Ryota's Grandma is 85, I think he wants to stay until she kicks the bucket. (Sorry Grandma...)
*Big change makes me poo my pants it's so scary.
*It will be tough for Ash to adjust to a new (all English) environment.
*Ryota will never get a good enough job in Australia.
So there is the breakdown, I'm seriously thinking on it. The recent dog fucker happenings make me want to leave in some ways, just because living here is not fun when I'm trying to avoid my in-laws, but on the other hand I don't want to 'run-away' from her either, she's not that fucking scary!
That said, there are more and more reasons to make a new life in Australia. The only thing that keeps us here, really, is money. Plain and simple, because it makes the world go round and shit. Basically, we may be able to make it big in Australia, but it's a big 'may', and it's a big risk to take when we have it so good here.
So the reasons to leave Japan are:
*Ryota's family will not be missed by me, and not that much by him.
*Ash will be able to start primary school in Australia next January.
*I will have my family and friends who I miss so much.
*We will live near the beach and not have to be worried about a monster tsunami swallowing us up for dinner.
*If I want to have another baby, I will have maternity leave/ government support to do so.
*It will be a new adventure.
And the reasons to stay are:
*Not only financial security, but wealth. We are making money to save now, if we move, it will be money to survive/get on our feet for the near future.
*Life is comfortable here, we know exactly how things are going to go.
*Ryota's Grandma is 85, I think he wants to stay until she kicks the bucket. (Sorry Grandma...)
*Big change makes me poo my pants it's so scary.
*It will be tough for Ash to adjust to a new (all English) environment.
*Ryota will never get a good enough job in Australia.
So there is the breakdown, I'm seriously thinking on it. The recent dog fucker happenings make me want to leave in some ways, just because living here is not fun when I'm trying to avoid my in-laws, but on the other hand I don't want to 'run-away' from her either, she's not that fucking scary!
Monday, 26 August 2013
Monday
I think I'm going to have to put a disclaimer at the top of the blog for slow people:
"90% of this is either sattire or generalisations, take it or leave it cunts!"
Too much?
"90% of this is either sattire or generalisations, take it or leave it cunts!"
Too much?
Saturday, 24 August 2013
Dog fucker pimple.
While we're comparing to people to other things, dog fucker is like a big fucking festering pimple right in the middle of my forehead. I can't escape her, I can't even hide from her by wearing a mask because she is always just... There! And every so often, the pimple needs to be burst, so the pus and poison and congealed blood can flow out until the next time it comes to a head.
So it's been 2 months since our fight and we haven't spoken to each other at all in that time. That may seem unbelievable seeing as though we basically live together, but seeing as though I have a busy life, and she leaves the house at best once a week, really don't run into each other that much. The most contact we have, is when I go to grandma's house to get something, pick up a kid/s, or talk to mil about something. And at those times, we try to stay out of each others way, or even in the same room just ignore each other.
I was happy with this arrangement, no fakeness, no big argument, just happiness and peace in our mutual hatred for each other.
Until she realized I deleted her from Facebook... My bad? Maybe, but fuck I was angry and just didn't want anything to do with the bitch so I deleted. Such a huge step in our social networked world, I don't know how it took her this long to notice though, she literally has like 4 friends on there, I thought she would have noticed straight away.
So she must have figured it out and ran crying to her mummy because yesterday out of the blue, mil sent me a message on a group message (meaning it goes to me, dog fucker, ryota, and bil) saying: "Corinne! I have to ask, did you delete dog fucker from Facebook?!"
And then I got pissed, if mil really wanted to ask me she should have just done so in a private mail, or even better, face to face, but I really don't know what she thought she was going to achieve by group messaging that shit. Especially seeing ass though she's been very Japanese about the whole thing until now and not said one word to me about it.
So I ignored the message and Ryota had a go at her but they managed to sort out there stuff after a long mailing battle.
I kind of felt guilty at first, but honestly, I just don't want anything to do with her, so this drastic measure is what it's going to take I think. She's never going to apologise to me and that's the only way I'll ever be going into dog fucker negotiations, until then I'm more than happy to just ignore, unlike her I actually have other things to keep me occupied. If she was someone important to me at some point and I thought our friendship was worth salvaging I would give in for the sake of family harmony, but that's what everyone does for her, they make exceptions for her "difficult personality" but sorry, not happening with this gaijin!
As expected, grandma and mil are on her side of the fence in the argument, Ryota is on mine and BIL is somewhere in the middle possibly having a brain bleed... Business as usual really.
So it's been 2 months since our fight and we haven't spoken to each other at all in that time. That may seem unbelievable seeing as though we basically live together, but seeing as though I have a busy life, and she leaves the house at best once a week, really don't run into each other that much. The most contact we have, is when I go to grandma's house to get something, pick up a kid/s, or talk to mil about something. And at those times, we try to stay out of each others way, or even in the same room just ignore each other.
I was happy with this arrangement, no fakeness, no big argument, just happiness and peace in our mutual hatred for each other.
Until she realized I deleted her from Facebook... My bad? Maybe, but fuck I was angry and just didn't want anything to do with the bitch so I deleted. Such a huge step in our social networked world, I don't know how it took her this long to notice though, she literally has like 4 friends on there, I thought she would have noticed straight away.
So she must have figured it out and ran crying to her mummy because yesterday out of the blue, mil sent me a message on a group message (meaning it goes to me, dog fucker, ryota, and bil) saying: "Corinne! I have to ask, did you delete dog fucker from Facebook?!"
And then I got pissed, if mil really wanted to ask me she should have just done so in a private mail, or even better, face to face, but I really don't know what she thought she was going to achieve by group messaging that shit. Especially seeing ass though she's been very Japanese about the whole thing until now and not said one word to me about it.
So I ignored the message and Ryota had a go at her but they managed to sort out there stuff after a long mailing battle.
I kind of felt guilty at first, but honestly, I just don't want anything to do with her, so this drastic measure is what it's going to take I think. She's never going to apologise to me and that's the only way I'll ever be going into dog fucker negotiations, until then I'm more than happy to just ignore, unlike her I actually have other things to keep me occupied. If she was someone important to me at some point and I thought our friendship was worth salvaging I would give in for the sake of family harmony, but that's what everyone does for her, they make exceptions for her "difficult personality" but sorry, not happening with this gaijin!
As expected, grandma and mil are on her side of the fence in the argument, Ryota is on mine and BIL is somewhere in the middle possibly having a brain bleed... Business as usual really.
Thursday, 22 August 2013
Snakes
If I had to compare Japanese people to an animal, it would definitely be snakes. Some are misunderstood, they all try to blend in unnoticed in their environment, most are harmless, and some slither along the ground hunting for some poor innocent mouse only to consume it whole and then slink away soundlessly.
OK, not all people are snakes, but I swear to fucking God most Japanese people (even the ones near and dear to me) are always slinking away from something. Holding something back, or putting on a fake skin only to shed it later and leave you fucking not believing what kind of person you thought they were.
A classic example, is in my business. I have an English school and when you open your own school and are the main teacher, it's kind of hard to not take it personally when a student suddenly quits. In the beginning I really did take it personally, but I've not only learnt not to take it personally but I've learnt that it's such a cycle, you get just as many new students as ones that quit. So if students tell me they're quitting, I'm totally fine with it, happy for them, invite them to school parties even after they've stopped taking lessons, I'm all good with it. Problem is, students NEVER say they're quitting, they say "I think I'm going to take a bit of time off..." But that's cool, they're being nice. The snakes that fuck me off, are the ones that flat out lie because they don't want to feel bad (but maybe they justify their horrible behaviour by trying to save my feelings??). I've had two this year, kids. The first girl had been coming for about 2 years, seemed to be enjoying herself, and then her mum said that she didn't get on with one of the boys in her class.
Now group lessons mean stiff fucking biccies if you can't get on with the boy, deal with it. However, I like this girl, so I juggled around all the classes to change her from her 4 o clock lesson to 5 o clock where she would be with 3 nice girls. This was quite a fuck around though due to several admin factors, but I did it anyway. 2 WEEKS after she'd changed classes, her mum came up to me and mumbled "Ummm, M-chan won't be coming next month..." And I almost didn't get what she was saying, she couldn't look at me and scurried away so quickly I just had time to nod.
The next was even MORE sneaky, the little boy who M-chan couldn't get on with, H-kun. He had been coming for a year and was one of those kids who pisses everyone off because he's an arrogant, mouthy little shit, but he's smart so he can back up his arrogance. I actually quite liked him, his mum spoke quite good English too so we often chatted if she came to pick him up. So I get a mail out of the blue from H-kun's mum saying he'd be quitting due to a "family crisis" to which I sent back a concerned mail (half knowing it was bullshit) to which I got no reply. She then sent a jar of jam with H-kun for me on his last day and I sent her a thank you mail and also got no reply. And then H-kun, being mouthy like he is, said "Yeah I'm quitting to go to cram school."
So why the fuck wouldn't his mum just say that?! I don't really give a fuck what he's doing, just don't fucking lie about it to make yourself feel better?!
AND THEN I saw H-kun and his family last night on the way home from the local festival, and H-kun screamed out "CCOOORRRRRIIINNNNEEEE SSSEEENNNSSEEEEIIIII!!!!!" and ran over to me, his mum looked mortified and hurried along the road, I said Hello to her and she literally did a rushed bow and SCURRIED away. I could not fucking believe it, does she really think her business is that important to me?? There are a lot of obnoxious little H-kuns to take his place, she needn't worry...
And even my Japanese friends, I can never completely trust them, because they're always just that little bit sneaky. I feel like a big awkward blond bear in a field of snakes sometimes.
OK, not all people are snakes, but I swear to fucking God most Japanese people (even the ones near and dear to me) are always slinking away from something. Holding something back, or putting on a fake skin only to shed it later and leave you fucking not believing what kind of person you thought they were.
A classic example, is in my business. I have an English school and when you open your own school and are the main teacher, it's kind of hard to not take it personally when a student suddenly quits. In the beginning I really did take it personally, but I've not only learnt not to take it personally but I've learnt that it's such a cycle, you get just as many new students as ones that quit. So if students tell me they're quitting, I'm totally fine with it, happy for them, invite them to school parties even after they've stopped taking lessons, I'm all good with it. Problem is, students NEVER say they're quitting, they say "I think I'm going to take a bit of time off..." But that's cool, they're being nice. The snakes that fuck me off, are the ones that flat out lie because they don't want to feel bad (but maybe they justify their horrible behaviour by trying to save my feelings??). I've had two this year, kids. The first girl had been coming for about 2 years, seemed to be enjoying herself, and then her mum said that she didn't get on with one of the boys in her class.
Now group lessons mean stiff fucking biccies if you can't get on with the boy, deal with it. However, I like this girl, so I juggled around all the classes to change her from her 4 o clock lesson to 5 o clock where she would be with 3 nice girls. This was quite a fuck around though due to several admin factors, but I did it anyway. 2 WEEKS after she'd changed classes, her mum came up to me and mumbled "Ummm, M-chan won't be coming next month..." And I almost didn't get what she was saying, she couldn't look at me and scurried away so quickly I just had time to nod.
The next was even MORE sneaky, the little boy who M-chan couldn't get on with, H-kun. He had been coming for a year and was one of those kids who pisses everyone off because he's an arrogant, mouthy little shit, but he's smart so he can back up his arrogance. I actually quite liked him, his mum spoke quite good English too so we often chatted if she came to pick him up. So I get a mail out of the blue from H-kun's mum saying he'd be quitting due to a "family crisis" to which I sent back a concerned mail (half knowing it was bullshit) to which I got no reply. She then sent a jar of jam with H-kun for me on his last day and I sent her a thank you mail and also got no reply. And then H-kun, being mouthy like he is, said "Yeah I'm quitting to go to cram school."
So why the fuck wouldn't his mum just say that?! I don't really give a fuck what he's doing, just don't fucking lie about it to make yourself feel better?!
AND THEN I saw H-kun and his family last night on the way home from the local festival, and H-kun screamed out "CCOOORRRRRIIINNNNEEEE SSSEEENNNSSEEEEIIIII!!!!!" and ran over to me, his mum looked mortified and hurried along the road, I said Hello to her and she literally did a rushed bow and SCURRIED away. I could not fucking believe it, does she really think her business is that important to me?? There are a lot of obnoxious little H-kuns to take his place, she needn't worry...
And even my Japanese friends, I can never completely trust them, because they're always just that little bit sneaky. I feel like a big awkward blond bear in a field of snakes sometimes.
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