Wednesday 4 August 2010

Buggery bastard thing(s)...

cluttering my genkan... Which happens to be tampon packet free today, just in case you were wondering.

Yes, the famous surfboard that so much blood, sweat and tears were wasted on arrived today, which is pretty much a 100% guarantee that I won't see Ryo-chan this weekend, meh, boys and their toys. Notice the perfectly good other surfboard in it's little protective condom behind the new one!

Not much happening today, had usual broom swapping shenannigans with Grandma this morning, and her giving Ash toys in the morning has come back to bite her in the arse! I mentioned that Ash took a soil covered dog the other morning, well apparently it was a part of a set that some iinaka relative sent Grandma, not that it's worth anything, but if said country bumpkin relative happens to come to the house to pray for Grandad's soul or something, the missing dog will definitely be noticed. So Grandma asked me about it this morning and I genuinely have no idea where it is, possibly in a rice field, at kindy somewhere or buried under the huge toy pile in our house. I felt like saying "That will teach you to give Ash things on his way to kindy now won't it!" in a supernanny voice but poor Grandma actually looked concerned so I eased up on her and said I'd take a squiz around the place for it. St gaijin I am and all.

Apart from that life is pretty dull, August is pretty slow school-wise, everyone going on Summer vacation trips just to make me jealous and stuff.

I'm feeling slightly flat after a fight...hmmm ok let's not say fight, but heated discussion Ryo-chan and I had last night which kind of carried on until this morning. Basically, we were talking about gaijin and their rights here, even when they've been living here a long time and have a half-blood kiddy. He was saying gaijin have just as many rights as Japanese and that they can access all areas just as well as Japanese, where as I tend to disagree.

I know there are systems in place (let's face it, there is a flipping system for everything here) but in reality, it is almost impossible for gaijin to be equal to Japanese. We were talking about child support, and that it was not easy for gaijin married to Japanese to get it in the case of a messy divorce because they would have to stay in the country to get it, and with no cushy jikka AKA mother's vagina to crawl back into, (eww sorry!) it was basically impossible. The whole in-law house was against me, and I get what they're saying, but I really feel it's not the same. I don't know, thoughts? Am I being an over-defensive outsider who should just chill the fuck out? I also brought up the fact that if a gaijin is married to a Japanese and their spouse dies they no longer have rights to a spousal visa. Bit of a worry when my husband surfs every weekend in summer, (sharks!) snowboards in winter, (avalanches!) smokes a pack a day, drives like a maniac and is generally a bit of a twat that doesn't think before he acts.

Bastard better not die on me, I need that visa!


  1. I absolutely agree with you, the amount of times I have argued with T over these same issues. About the visa issue though, after about 5 years you can apply for a permanent residence visa and then you wouldn't need to worry every again. But if some random wave takes him down (of course hopefully not) then Ash can be your sponsor for a visa.

  2. Meant to ask, would your husband consider selling a surfboard? T is loving surfing and wants to rent one but might as well buy a used one, if it was available :)

  3. Danielle~ Yeah, I knew there were other options, but it is pretty ridiculous if you're young, and without kids that if something were to happen you'd be pretty much screwed! I've never planned on applying for permanent residence but maybe I should consider it!

    They should go together! Actually no, that would be bad for us... although we could have coffee when they're off surfing, that would work!! :) I'll ask him, I doubt he'll part with one of his babies though! His mate got a board for 3000 yen from yahoo auction though, maybe have a look there? Loads of cheap ones.

  4. I'm not legally attached to a Japanese person so I haven't gone through the paperwork firsthand but I think most people would be hard-pressed to say foreigners have equal rights here...I believe it's also difficult for Japanese mothers to receive child support because of the backwards divorce and custody laws here but definitely more so for a foreign mother. And then there is the fact that Japan has not signed the international treaty on kidnapping, which is lovely to know. BTW do you have your email somewhere on your blog? I was going to shoot you a mail but couldn't find it...

  5. GEG~ Oh yeah, the kidnapping thing is quite unnerving, but quite good for me if I plan to flee the country any time, although I might just leave noisy child behind... Joking, but possibly not really... I tried to mail you again but my computer and lack of kanji reading skills/computer downloading thingies wasn't having it, my email is
    Let me know when you're in town, I'd love to catch up if you have time!

  6. Definitely need to apply for permanent residence as soon as possible - in case of death or divorce this would save us gaijin mums. No way are we equal. I reckon if I gone through some of this shit in NZ with a kiwi husband I would have left by now. Too much at stake here and hard to run away with three children. I also reckon half the shit I've had to put up with - hub's had to put up back :D But not the silver balls. He wins that hands down.

  7. I think "technically" we are supposed to be equal, however in practice it never, ever happens. Japan is renowned for its freaking acceptable double standards. I mean ... we look different. End of.

    However the treatment we (whities) get compared to what some Chinese and Korean gaijin wives get is amazing.
    I had this friend who had been here for years, chinese girl, Japanese boyfriend, and a half Japanese child by boyfriend. After marriage she got a 6 month spousal visa 3 times, before getting it bumped up to a 1 year one for another 2. Only after that did she get the 3 year one, which I got first time. Maybe a coincidence, but Ive heard this story is common amongst chinese/filipina/korean wives living here.

    Lets hope Ryota does not die ... his simple message with grammar errors made me cry.

  8. Definitely not equal! Even the law specifies 'kokumin' which some have taken to mean only Japanese nationals, meaning you can discriminate as much as you like against anyone else! And the laws often have no teeth - no penalties. You're not supposed to kick foreigners out of your bar, but you can if you want to, and nothing's going to stop you.