Wednesday 23 June 2010

The rules of fish...

We've had futons and dishes, now I know you're just gagging for a new addition to this horrible series.

I really thought my learning days were over, I mean, I've done the 2 years of apprentice wifeyness with gaijin handicap thrown in and all, it was in the bag... I've done the bento, aired the futons and even met Grandma's strict rubbish sorting criteria, I was actually feeling quite smug with my white arse...

But noooooo. There has been... A fish incident!

I find one of the most tedious and boring and just genreally shitty tasks of the common housewife in Japan is planning the menu. There's no just 'throw somehing together from the freezer options because quite frankly my freezer is smaller than my undie drawer. So there is the fucking awful brain strain of thinknig and planning and buying all the shite you need for dinner that day. Now sometimes, I'm struck with inspiration and it's all good, but there are days when I just can't be arsed thinking or everything I think of will taste like dogs balls warmed up. Now before I started working I had to suck it up and just do it, but this lovely working lark means I have wayyyy more bitching room to move when it comes to Ryo-chan. So a few days a week I will accost Ryota as he's going out the door with the false pretense of giving him a kiss (he alswys knows something's up) and make him tell me what he wants for dinner. 90% of the time he will say "Udon ii yo" which is lovely, udon is well easy to do, but sometimes he will actually take a few seconds and all of his man brain power and tell me what he wants.

So the other day, he wanted J-style dinner: Fish, rice, miso soup, natto, salad and some other side dish which I would inevitably buy from the supermarket then put in a fancy dish and rip off as my own. I actually like the J-style nights, the cooking time is usually very little and most things can be prepared beforehand. Sweet! Nice Japanese healthy crap it is sweetheart! Itterashai! But there was a condition...

When it comes to fish, I'm a buri girl, it's white and boneless and doesn't smell too fishy. But Ryota threw me a curve ball and added that he wanted Saba. Saba is more fishy and more boney but doesn't taste too bad. So off I toddled and got my saba and other crap I needed. I prepared everything and as he walked in the door was about to do my fish so he could get a shower and have his dinner on the table when he got out.(huuuuge wifey points there!)Then I was struck with the dilemma of how to cook the bastard, so I resorted to my old faithful- teriyaki. Can't really go wrong with the sticky, sweet, salty combo of soy sauce and sugar, so I teriyaki-ed the little saba bits and arranged them perfectly on the little plate along with it's huge extended family of plates around it.

And you know what the bastard did when he saw the spread? He laughed the at my little saba!!! Arsehole! Dickhead! Wankerrrrrrr! He then explained that no Japanese wife would EVER teriyaki saba, it just isn't done! Saba is ALWAYS grilled with salt. Well exxxcccuuuuuussse fucking me but if I can choose between dry, hard, salty fish and sweet, soft, moist fish, I know which one I'm going with! Grandma also came over at some point during the night, saw the lonely little uneaten saba and examined it closely chuckling at the notion of teriyaki saba. It was a big joke for all the in-laws, meanwhile I was just pissed and vowed to never cook again!

Wasn't actually that pissed, I ate all mine and it was pretty damn tasty. Just another example of the J-way being the only way, no deviating from the norm, even when it comes to something as seemingly creative as cooking!


  1. Hahahah omg that had me cracking up. Ryohei doesn't like white meat fish so we've never had that problem... but lol.

    Aw Corinne that sounds just like something I would do... at least you are expanding Ryota's pallet... seriously what do these J-blokes expect by marrying us?!!

    Don't worry we can train up the next generation to be much much cooler :P

  2. Hahaha. God forbid you teriyaki some fish.

    Japanese food seems so... what's the word? Bland? You're lucky in that department. My Cantonese boyfriend took me to my first dim sum meal last Friday. Made me try chicken feet. About fucking threw up on everyone. Of course I smiled and said, "Oh! How unique!" I don't quite know how to break it to him that I don't like Chinese food.

  3. HAHA, will have to remember that.

    I didn`t know you can`t teriyaki saba- well you can, but that your not supposed to. Sounds good to me though! We might have Saba tomorrow night :-)

    Oh and my favourite side for Japanese is moyashi with goma abura and soy sauce- so simple but Shun LOVES it!

  4. i hate fish so yoshi knows not to complain when i make it! for me, though, i yakizakana it all, except flounder, because i really can't be put out making up all that sauce! LOL

    well, guess you won't be making him any saba again!

  5. Slap Ryo-chan. If he did that to me there would be no more dinners. Picky little girly man!

  6. Obviously your in-laws have no idea what they're talking about because a quick Google search IN JAPANESE will come up with 50 million teriyaki-ed saba recipes. Boo to them! My husband would know better than to ask for saba though. That's like the one fish I absolutely will not eat. Eeew.

    I totally agree about it being a pain in the ass to think up menus everyday. I don't think I would mind cooking as much if someone laid out the menus for me. Unfortunately, if I ask my husband what he wants 99% of the time he will say "whatever" and he really means it. No help at all.

  7. Silly hub. He will learn to just eat what he is served or so help him God. I think teriyaki anythings sounds nice :)

  8. Teriyaki-ing any sort of fish sounds good to me! I just asked Takeshi about saba and he said " usually wouldn't do that." Lol! Ryota needs to stop being picky! Eat what your wife spent the time to make!

    People over there just can't break from the cycle of usual meals! I don't know how well my in-laws would embrace a meal (made at home) that totally broke from anything they would have had before. And it's funny they may be like that, because Takeshi ended up becoming a chef and is all about the variety of food!

  9. Corrina in Kagoshima24 June 2010 at 09:27

    Go to , one of the biggest Japanese recipe sites out there and search teriyaki + saba - and then show the inlaws!
    (I would put a link but it had Japanese in it so it goes all funny here)

    I always just grill saba, then add daikon oroshi on one corner of the plate. Yum together.

    Can't believe he didn't try any of it at all?!