Wednesday 30 June 2010

Uneven wobbly bits.

I'm honestly shocked and horrified at myself right now. I have discovered that not only do I have wobbly cellulite on the top of my thighs, but one side is fucking huge! Like, much bigger than the other side, NOTICEABLY bigger than the other side!
How the fuck does this happen??

OK, I know how cellulite happens, and I'm pretty sure it has a lot to do with sitting on your arse for extended periods of time and eating shitloads of marshmallows (my latest addiction). But seriously, how the hell did I get such uneven cellulite??? I'm usually quite at peace with my wobbly bits, they're there, part of me and evidence of how much I really enjoy good food, but there's a point where I start to feel a little too much like a whale and I usually do something about it, and that point was when I noticed these horrific uneven wobbles. I wish I could take a photo and show you just how bad it is but I wouldn't want you vomitting your lunch time onigiri all over the keyboard or anything.

I showed Ryota and even he was like "Ooooo yeah, that is pretty bad, you can really see the difference!" He even suggested it might be a tumour (thanks sweetheart) but upon much prodding and grabbing of the wobbles decided it was definitely and unmistakeably pure, fatty cellulite. (Again, ta for that darlin.) We were perplexed on how this phenomenon could occur but soon discovered that it probably had something to do with my 'baby on the hip' pose. I tend to put all the weight on my right side when I'm standing or holding Ash, therefore using some kind of muscle in the right leg, but not the left. Has anyone else had this problem!?

Anyway, running everyday in this bastard heat will hopefully melt some of the nasty orange peel away and I've taken to a 100 leg-lift-a-day routine on my left leg only to try and whip my lardy legs into shape. Let's hope. Although then I might end up with one really muscly leg and one still slightly wobbly leg... Uh oh, I'm fucked.

The kindy mothers are pissing me off no end, but that's a post I'll save for tomorrow, wouldn't want to blow my load all in one post (eww), I am posting every day from tomorrow after all!

Hope everyone in Japan is keeping cool as we start on the long, sweaty road of Japan summer, and beware of uneven wobble syndrome, seriously, all you mummies, swap those legs now!!!


  1. I'm impressed that you can run in this heat... I'm waiting till the evening so I don't collapse from heat exhaustion- which I nearly do after tennis on Saturday lunchtimes. Plus the darkness hides my wobbly-bits from the other hordes of runners out there..

  2. Oooh, like the new pink. Bloody running in this heat would be a nightmare. Good on you. I think the always carrying Ash on same hip is very good theory. Good luck with orange peel eradication .

  3. Haha, I love your blog. I`m so glad you`re starting to do a post a day! I`ll definitely be reading and perhaps pondering the idea of doing a post again on my blog sometime in the next decade.

    By the way, I`m pretty sure one of my shoulders is lower than the other from decades of wearing my tote bags and purses on the same side... but it feels so weird to change it!

  4. A post every day! I am impressed- I have done it before but it was pre-baby! Will be checking in!

    Your hubs cracks me up- "maybe it is a tumour" hehe..sorry.

    Good luck with the running- and losing the cellulite. Doesn`t rubbing sand into it help? Maybe you could steal some sand from Ash`s kindy?!