Oh yeeeeaaaahhhh! The pervert magnet is back!

Yesssss! I can now say I’ve had my first pervert attack since having a baby and becoming a frumpy housewife! Woooooooo! Well, Wooooooooo! in an ‘Eww gross!’ kind of way. And I can’t really count it as a fully fledged, stereotypical Japan pervert attack either, but still.

So was sitting at the school (we call her link-chan, cos it’s like our baby, and, you know, we’re really lame.) and it was about 6:45pm and getting dark. I had a Junior high school class at 7pm as their schedule was so booked up, that was the only time they could tear themselves away from club/ cram school/ study/ sports and whatever the fuck else Junior high school kids do with their time here, helllloooooo future train jumper! Anyway, was waiting patiently, and around the 6-7pm time frame is actually a really a good time to be at the school, everyone is on their way home from work or school and we have positioned my desk so I’m in full view of anyone on the bus, in cars or walking down the street. The down side is that I can no longer pick my undies out of my bum in peace, and I have to have a ‘I’m a super-friendly fun gaijin!’ smile plastered on my face 24/7, but the up side is that the blond foreign girl does attract quite a lot of attention in our sleepy little part of the world.

Every night this week I’ve had reactions ranging from pointing at me from the car, or a shushed “Oi, look, it’s that bird from the flyer we got!” to people full-on just striding in and asking what I’m doing or making general chit-chat and telling me to ‘ganbatte’ (go for it). Of course their ‘ganbatte’s’ would be much more appreciated if they forked out and actually took lessons, but the thought is there I guess.
So point is, I’ve been used to random people coming to the door and making conversation, to which I am a very good business typey person and always stand up and go to the door and bow and act like a general groveling twat as per the system of customer is god here in Japan.

So when a dude in a cap came to the door, I didn’t think anything of it, looking back, when he said “kirei ne” (pretty) I thought he was talking about the school, but as it turns out he may have been talking about my (non-existent) gaijin rack. He was muttering though so I couldn’t be sure of what else he said but he was talking in a way that after a few seconds it clicked in brain that he was “special.” My sister works for a disabled care home in Aussie so I do actually have a lot of sympathy for those poor buggers who by no fault of their own are a bit soft in the head, but it’s still hard to deal with all the same. I really couldn’t understand what he was saying but when he stepped up into the entrance way and started wanking at me, well, it was quite clear that words weren’t really needed. Although I’m sure he said at the end, “Can you fart for me just once? Please?”

Now in situations like this, no matter how creepy, scary or dangerous, I laugh. It’s so bad, but I giggle like a school girl, always have when I’m nervous. So not knowing what to do I said “Hee hee ahh ha ha no, no I won’t fart, hee hee! bai bai!” And shut the door. When I later relayed the story back to my in-laws their advice if it ever happens again was to:
MIL- Get your phone and snap his picture.
SIL- Punch his disabled arse down and kick him.
Ryochan- Call me and I’ll come and kick his disabled arse.
BIL- He grunted, cos, well, he’s a bit slow and was still digesting the story.
To be honest, I wouldn’t have the balls to do any ass kicking, disabled or not! Go back and read my ‘wanking on the door’ story some while back for proof of that! But when the poor lad is obviously not right in the head, it’s really hard to go all “sekuhara” on him, don’t you think? My biggest concern is that if he were to hang around when we had kids at the school, that would just make for bad business.

Anyway, as I said, can’t be treated as a totally legit pervy incident but definitely close enough for my liking!



OK, woah. Seriously, just finished typing this and had to go piss, was in the toilet and heard his voice calling out “Oneeechan!!” “Kawaii onechann!!!” Holy fuck, it’s about the same time as yesterday, does this mean it’s going to be an everyday thing?! Lucky I was pissing at the time because I think I would have weeed myself if I’d still been sitting at the computer!! I stayed in the toilet cowering like a little mouse and called Ryota but when he got here it was too late, he’d gone. Man, imagine teaching a couple of shy little 13 year olds and that shit walks in the door!? Soft in the head or not, his parents need to take care of him and make sure he’s not out terrorizing gaijin and their fragile little new schools. Ryota has now instructed me to keep him chatting but try not to get jizzed on and call him the minute he comes to the door next time (no pun intended).

Eeek!