Thursday 20 January 2011

The story.

So, on New Years Day, Ryota and I tramped over to the in-laws for dinner in the usual fashion. Ash had been pissing around there for a while before, letting me get the house organised, and letting him run trucks over Obaachan's head and other fun activities. As I shuffled in to the lounge room and was about to make small talk with whoever was in the room about how cold it was, I stopped dead in my tracks. "Samuu........." There, in front of me, was the dog-fucker. Cunt face. SIL. And right beside her, my son. MY son. In. Matching. Fucking. Jumpers.

Let me just say, before I go on, I hate matching things. If I have 2 kids, they will never be matching. If I have twins, or triplets, or quintuplets, they won't be matching. I don't match with Ryota, or the dog, or the furniture, or the weather. Matching, just no fucking no! Matching (or pair setto) is big in Japan, it's seen as cute if people are wearing the same thing. Sorry, not Japanese and not ever going to change on this one. Japanese couples are huge on it, pair setto rings and all that crap. Ryota made the mistake of buying us pair setto watches for Christmas and I said seeing as though I liked the watch I'd wear it but we were never to be seen in public both wearing our watches. He didn't get it.

The only matching shenanigans I will ever slightly approve of, are parents and kids, for example Ryota sometimes wears checked shorts and Ash SIMILAR ones, but even this makes me vomit a little. So when I saw SIL with Ash in a matching jumper (which actually says ROBUST but hats off to GW for the NOBUST comment, much more appropriate for SIL, not so much for Ash...) I choked a bit on my tongue and was actually at a loss of what to say except "Where the hell do they sell adult and baby matching shite!?" SIL then informed us that she is so scrawny and Ash is so tubby that they both fit in to children's sizes. Bitch! Skinny bitch!!!! She's really just asking me to hate her, no??

I was just going to leave the issue and then burn the jumper at a later date, but BIL actually did all the piss-taking for me...

BIL: Errrr, you're a fucking weirdo, why would you buy matching jumpers with Ash??

SIL: (Imagine whiny J-girl voice) Whhhhaaaaattt???? It's cuuuuuttttteeeee!!!!

BIL: No, it's fucking mental, (Ryota and I nod in agreement) if Corinne did it, it would be lame, but you doing it is just weird, HE'S NOT YOUR SON!!!!

SIL:.......... It's cuuuuutttttteeeee!!!!!!!

We all shook our heads and I silently thought to myself that I would not be letting Ash outside as long as he was wearing the ghastly thing. Who does she think she is!? Putting my son in an ugly jumper, then pair setto-ing herself to him without even consulting me!? I shudder at the very thought of him being a mini dog-fucker. I honestly do.

What's your take on the matching issue?? Is it 'cuuuuuuutttttteeeee?????' or just plain fucked up???


  1. so if you had twins you wouldn't do the matching thing either? :) My take is I don't really care, after all it's just clothes. but I can understand why you would be frustrated that of all people who did it was d-f*cker.

  2. I always wanted to do matching outfits with my son, mainly to piss him off!

    I did see a Japanese family once touristing around Melbourne, all in matching Australia green and gold trackies. Classic.

  3. i think it's cute (not your SIL and your son, though. that's messed up. especially as you don't get along well. she was only thinking of herself.) if i had twins, i'd dress them in matching clothes. i've even got matching shirts for hiro and tommy (hey! it had dinosaurs and said 'dinosaur brothers' on it!! too cute!) a neighbor gave the three of my kids matching shirts. i've never had them wear them at the same time, though. that would be too much.

    ***a note on 'if i had twins' scenario. i wouldn't dress them in the same outfits every day. just once in a while. and more likely if they were girls than boys. but then, i love baby girl clothes and dresses so i would love to have double the cute! there is also a certain age to stop (the matching clothes), one that has to be determined by the parent, but for me i think it would be at about four. by then the kids usually want to choose their own clothes anyway.

  4. Totally with you on the no matching thing. Puke barf vomit げええええ Bf suggested we get a set of something and I gave him the meanest glare ever.

  5. Shun & I have never done anything pair setto and I doubt we ever will- I can`t imagine him wanting to and I certainly don`t want to.

    I think her doing it with Ash is wrong as like your BIL said he is NOT her son.

    For kids- I don`t know I might dress the boys in the same top once in awhile if I had the right sizes but definitely not a FULL on matching outfit (so maybe the same shoes or the same top but different pants/hat/socks. But as they got older if they didn`t want to I wouldn`t MAKE them.

    I once saw a lady walking her dog and they had matching outfits on. Seriously. I think your SIL would get a kick out of that though don`t you think?

  6. I`m a twin and my mom used to dress us in matching outfits (just when we were wee little things) but always did them in different colors. I can handle this. It`s kind of cute. Don`t understand the whole pair setto thing in Japan either. It just goes along with their love of all things child... despite being grown adults.

    I CAN NOT stand matching twin names however. Like Mandy and Sandy... when I meet twins like that I just want to punch them for lack of the presence of their mothers.

  7. I mean ... if she was his twin (god forbid) it would have been cute. fucking hell, if it was a girl from kindy who had accidentally had the same top, it would have been cute.

    But its just wrong. She is wrong. You need to buy her and her doggy matching outfits for her next birthday. just to make a point! :D

  8. You are hilarious. This line -

    "If I have 2 kids, they will never be matching. If I have twins, or triplets, or quintuplets, they won't be matching. I don't match with Ryota, or the dog, or the furniture, or the weather."

    - had me snorting my drink out my nose; ok not literally but...

  9. Ahh dear Dog F*cker, how I'm starting to loathe thee? Let me count the ways...

  10. I think in the US she would wind up on a government watch list for something like this!

  11. She's definitely breaking some fashion law. If not with the matching, the pale pink and "ROBUST" logo would have her for life in Fashion Prison.

  12. wrong.

    just wrong.

    glad BIL was there to notice and to call her out.

  13. Pair setto is borderline cute/creepy with your own kid, but just plain psycho with someone elses' kid. Does she boil rabbits too?

  14. Ok, I think this is my first time to comment on your blog, and suspect I'm not only in the minority on this, but probably going to get flamed too, but I really don't see what the big deal is. Yes, I know she is a weirdo. Yes, I get you totally hate her. Yes, I too think matching outfits are stupid and lame. BUT, she obviously loves and cares about your son in her own wacko way. She bought him a present. He is going to get lots of presents that you hate over the years. True, this is a rather creepy present since she is only his aunt, but again I doubt it will be the last creepy thing he gets. I just really don't see how or why a child having as much love and expressions of that love is in anyway a bad thing.

  15. You buy mother-child pair-setto in the Nissan catalogue... just so you know...

    My kids match! I swore like you I would never do it, it was dumb. But then it just happened... thing is, I would find a dress or something I really liked, but how can I choose which one gets it? Or they would both want the same thing.

    They like it! They go out of their way to match, even have arguments about it (Mummy, she promised me she would match with me today, but now she's got the wrong top on!). And when No. 3 came along, well, she just had to join the party. Well, it makes it easier to spot them in malls and at festivals!

    I would never, EVER match myself to them though. Mutton dressed as lamb.

  16. i think sherry makes a good point. i still think it's creepy, but at least she loves ash!

    rachel, i love it when your girls match! especially when they have matching fabrics but different style dresses. very cute!

  17. oh the bitterness in this post, gotta love it.
    hey, even my triplet Biggies won't get dressed in pairs

  18. I have a set of triplets in a class and they DO dress the same, every time. Funny thing is, they look nothing alike and I wouldn't be able to pick which three were the triplets if they didn't all dress the same!

  19. As with everything in life- it depends upon personal taste.

  20. Before I came to Japan I always thought the "pair look" was reserved for middle-aged and older Caucasian couples from English-speaking countries, the kind you see bickering tiredly in matching anoraks at tourist attractions. Personally it gives me the creeps, and the whole "pair setto" thing seems to be a consumerism-driven way of creating and reinforcing a bond that's maybe not strong enough to maintain itself. OK, each to their own, but anyone who tries that on me or my kin would get the offending merchandise back with detailed instructions on where, exactly, they should feel free to put it.

    Oh, hello BTW, I'm an octopus, like your blog.

  21. If it would be dad/son I might find it cute (say, if they wore matching suits). But otherwise it's just wrong, wrong, wrong!!!

  22. 2 cousins are identical twins, and they got dressed up the same all the time...

    But as soon as they got old enough to choose their own clothes they dressed very differently, and have ever since.

    Identical outfits are a bit creepy, and are certainly not cute! Clearly the Japanese think nearly anything can be "cute".

  23. I'm with you (for now, we'll see when #2 actually makes her debut if that someday changes). In general, the whole pair thing makes me want to puke. However, all of the grandkids on my husband's side have this frog character T-shirt, in different colors, but they all have the T-shirt, and every time all of the cousins get together, they all wear the T-shirt. I almost felt left out when Sara was a baby because she didn't have one, and then last year one of the SILs bought Sara her very own frog character T-shirt, and now she is officially one of the clan. It's kind of funny and a little embarrassing when we all go out together, but at least we know which kids our ours.