We made it to Aussie... just.
Ash was quite good on the plane and I ended up crying more than him!
The flight from Osaka to Gold coast was good, didn't sleep and Ash didn't fit in the bassinet but he slept pretty well on my lap and we had a fair bit of leg room and a spare seat next to us. The fun started when we got to the Gold coast, AKA the shittiest hole of an airport ever!!!!
I had to get my luggage and check-in at the domestic counter so as I was waiting in a line as long as the Tokyo krispy kreme to go through customs with a suitcase, baby bag, baby and handbag the tears just started and wouldn't fucking stop, they turned into shoulder wobbles and eventually I was just a sweaty, teary mess.
Had a blow out at the customs dude and the jetstar chick who wanted me to lug my suitcase for 2 hours before checking-in, stupid twat. Anyway, after many tears and bitterness at the fact that no bastard was willing to help me, (although did feel quite nostalgic like I was in Japan) I made it to Sydney airport and was met by my mum and sister. And it was great. Until the car broke down...
Yes the radiator shat itself while we were still in Sydney (my house is about an hour away) and I was sooo rooted that I didn't even have the energy to cry. Luckily we made it home with a few stops to cool the engine but we were travelling for about 25 hours straight. The shower at home was the best feeling in the world.
Pretty settled now although Ash is being a right little bugger not wanting anyone but me. Doesn't he get it that the reason I came home was to palm him off on to other people for 3 weeks!?
Will post more soon but mum and ad's computer is still in the dark ages and not sure if I can post photos... Will try tomorrow!
Friday, 2 October 2009
Monday, 28 September 2009
Welcome... TO FUTON WARS!
Anyone else seen phoenix nights??? No? Righto.
So there is a bastard big family argument going on at the moment, and I was relieved for about 2 seconds because I thought I wasn't actually involved, but noooo, of course I was!
Yesterday I went to MIL's house, (she is still in Thailand, so it's Obaachan, BIl and SIL) where Ryota and Ash were while I was getting some housey shite done, and as I walked in the door, all I heard was Ryo-chan's angry voice growling "Kaero!" (We're going!) and then shoving me back out the door. BIL and SIL were silent and Obaachan was chuntering something in the background so I had no idea what the fuck was going on.
2 cigarettes later Ryota finally told me what happened, but men are quite unreliable when it comes to relaying arguments, they either a) forget important details, b) twist the story so it's not their fault at all, or c) can't be arsed telling you the whole or even half of the story so grunt instead when questioned. I think Ryo-chan managed to combine all 3 of those when he was telling me what happened...
OK I'll back up a bit, I went to the park with SIL on Saturday (great pictures, will post soon!) and when we came back there was a massive futon set dumped in our genkan. My first reaction was, 'fuck me, not another cunting futon, where am I going to put this bastard?!' And then Obaachan came over and informed me that this was for Ashton to sleep on.
I gave in on the futon vs cot debate so Ash now sleeps on the floor NEXT TO his perfectly good, safe, expensive cot. Although I must admit, I do like just rolling over half asleep to pat him back to sleep or whip out some tit without standing up.
So Ash sleeps on a normal mattress with a baby sized futon on top, which he often rolls off but he also rolls off the adult sized mattress, so unless they start making futons as big as our whole entire room, he's gunna roll off the fucker.
I think Obaachan may have still been pissed that I was dissing the whole futon gig and this new futon was an attempt to stop the rolling off issue that I like to bitch about. I got what she said when she said "This is for Ash to sleep on" but I didn't really get the meaning, like we didn't really need the thing. When Ryota got home Saturday and tripped over the futon on the way in I said, "Oh yeh, Obaachan brought it over, I think it's for Ash but I have no idea..."
Ryota then went and asked Obaachan and she said "I fucking told your stupid gaijin wife already!" (well not really, but along those lines in more grandma-like speak).
Ash is pretty sick with a cold so on Saturday night we were busy and both couldn't be arsed taking the fated futon upstairs but when Obaachan came in on Sunday and saw it she gave a little miffed mumbling rant on the fact that we hadn't used the futon. I explained that we were just tired the night before and we'd give it a crack from tonight.
When Ryota went over there apparently (and this is where the details are based purely on Ryota's sketchy account of things!) they got into the conversation again and Ryota said that I couldn't understand Obaachan's Japanese! Which is true a lot of the time, hell I have trouble understanding old people in English, add in the Japanese factor, a sprinkling of Tottori-ben, lots of gutter Osaka-ben and sometimes I just guess a response. I did actually understand the futon conversation, I just didn't get why he needed it... Ya get me...?
Obaachan got pissed then and was all like 'well has she understood anything I've said in the last 2 years!?' and Ryota went into a 'if she speaks to you in English will you understand!?' and it went on from there....
I live in Japan, nobody should have to speak English to me, but I was touched that Ryo-chan would jump to my defence. He also told Obaachan she couldn't just dump things in our house, she should ask first, and that I definitely agree with.
Anyway, Ryota told me he wasn't going to go to the in-laws house ever again , which is a joke because as soon as Ash starts crying when he's looking after him he'll soooo be over there! He told me not to go either but I told him to shove it, it's his beef not mine. Kinda regretted that though when I went over last night and got into a tiff myself with Obaachan over Ashton taking a bath. He had quite a high fever and was all snotty, apparently in Japan a bath is a no-no when there's a fever involved, which I think is bollocks, the fever is taken wayyyy too seriously here in my opinion. Whenever I'd had too much to drink and called in a sickie to work, all I had to do was say I had a fever and any boss/ co-worker would be worried about me, but when I was in Australia I don't think we even had a thermometer in our house!
I knew Ash would feel better after a warm bath so I could get all the snot and muck off his face but Obaachan was all "Fine, ask the doctor when you go tomorrow, he'll tell you!!"
I basically told her straight then that in Australia, it's fine to take a bath, and he was having one.
Ryota still hasn't talked to her but I'm sure he will soon enough. OK, my snot monster just woke up so must go tend to the poor little bugger!
So there is a bastard big family argument going on at the moment, and I was relieved for about 2 seconds because I thought I wasn't actually involved, but noooo, of course I was!
Yesterday I went to MIL's house, (she is still in Thailand, so it's Obaachan, BIl and SIL) where Ryota and Ash were while I was getting some housey shite done, and as I walked in the door, all I heard was Ryo-chan's angry voice growling "Kaero!" (We're going!) and then shoving me back out the door. BIL and SIL were silent and Obaachan was chuntering something in the background so I had no idea what the fuck was going on.
2 cigarettes later Ryota finally told me what happened, but men are quite unreliable when it comes to relaying arguments, they either a) forget important details, b) twist the story so it's not their fault at all, or c) can't be arsed telling you the whole or even half of the story so grunt instead when questioned. I think Ryo-chan managed to combine all 3 of those when he was telling me what happened...
OK I'll back up a bit, I went to the park with SIL on Saturday (great pictures, will post soon!) and when we came back there was a massive futon set dumped in our genkan. My first reaction was, 'fuck me, not another cunting futon, where am I going to put this bastard?!' And then Obaachan came over and informed me that this was for Ashton to sleep on.
I gave in on the futon vs cot debate so Ash now sleeps on the floor NEXT TO his perfectly good, safe, expensive cot. Although I must admit, I do like just rolling over half asleep to pat him back to sleep or whip out some tit without standing up.
So Ash sleeps on a normal mattress with a baby sized futon on top, which he often rolls off but he also rolls off the adult sized mattress, so unless they start making futons as big as our whole entire room, he's gunna roll off the fucker.
I think Obaachan may have still been pissed that I was dissing the whole futon gig and this new futon was an attempt to stop the rolling off issue that I like to bitch about. I got what she said when she said "This is for Ash to sleep on" but I didn't really get the meaning, like we didn't really need the thing. When Ryota got home Saturday and tripped over the futon on the way in I said, "Oh yeh, Obaachan brought it over, I think it's for Ash but I have no idea..."
Ryota then went and asked Obaachan and she said "I fucking told your stupid gaijin wife already!" (well not really, but along those lines in more grandma-like speak).
Ash is pretty sick with a cold so on Saturday night we were busy and both couldn't be arsed taking the fated futon upstairs but when Obaachan came in on Sunday and saw it she gave a little miffed mumbling rant on the fact that we hadn't used the futon. I explained that we were just tired the night before and we'd give it a crack from tonight.
When Ryota went over there apparently (and this is where the details are based purely on Ryota's sketchy account of things!) they got into the conversation again and Ryota said that I couldn't understand Obaachan's Japanese! Which is true a lot of the time, hell I have trouble understanding old people in English, add in the Japanese factor, a sprinkling of Tottori-ben, lots of gutter Osaka-ben and sometimes I just guess a response. I did actually understand the futon conversation, I just didn't get why he needed it... Ya get me...?
Obaachan got pissed then and was all like 'well has she understood anything I've said in the last 2 years!?' and Ryota went into a 'if she speaks to you in English will you understand!?' and it went on from there....
I live in Japan, nobody should have to speak English to me, but I was touched that Ryo-chan would jump to my defence. He also told Obaachan she couldn't just dump things in our house, she should ask first, and that I definitely agree with.
Anyway, Ryota told me he wasn't going to go to the in-laws house ever again , which is a joke because as soon as Ash starts crying when he's looking after him he'll soooo be over there! He told me not to go either but I told him to shove it, it's his beef not mine. Kinda regretted that though when I went over last night and got into a tiff myself with Obaachan over Ashton taking a bath. He had quite a high fever and was all snotty, apparently in Japan a bath is a no-no when there's a fever involved, which I think is bollocks, the fever is taken wayyyy too seriously here in my opinion. Whenever I'd had too much to drink and called in a sickie to work, all I had to do was say I had a fever and any boss/ co-worker would be worried about me, but when I was in Australia I don't think we even had a thermometer in our house!
I knew Ash would feel better after a warm bath so I could get all the snot and muck off his face but Obaachan was all "Fine, ask the doctor when you go tomorrow, he'll tell you!!"
I basically told her straight then that in Australia, it's fine to take a bath, and he was having one.
Ryota still hasn't talked to her but I'm sure he will soon enough. OK, my snot monster just woke up so must go tend to the poor little bugger!
Friday, 25 September 2009
金曜日だよ！
This week obviously feels short because it was riddled with days of hellish crowds and traffic jams, also knows as public hols in Japan. I'm happy to say that Ryota is back at work, meaning my house is back in order.
Took Ash back to the clinic today as he's still snotting all over the place, they told me I was being paranoid and probably am but fuck, how do I know if I don't check. They said that babies can get cold that last a month, is that right??The nurses pissed me off today too, there's a 'no stroller inside' policy at the clinic and I get it if it's really crowded, (is that the reason??) but today there was like one other lady and her kiddie there. Ash was sleeping in the stroller when we went in but nursey was watching the stroller like a hawk and the minute he woke up she told me to take it outside. Very typical Japanese rule bullshit that pisses me right off. Ryota also hates it, hence his hissy fit at Babies 'r' us the other day when the sales clerk wanted Ryota to sign the credit card slip instead of me, Ryota threw a tanty and the 16 year old clerk went all red and just looked down while I signed. Perhaps we really shouldn't live in this country...
Now, where I'm from, goon is a $2 cask of wine that you get hammered on when you're 17, obviously Japan has other ideas!
My 500 yen collection, it's about half way, which is 150,000 yen!
My rodeo boy is getting some use, Ryo-chan's surfing practice.
Ash's belly...
Took Ash back to the clinic today as he's still snotting all over the place, they told me I was being paranoid and probably am but fuck, how do I know if I don't check. They said that babies can get cold that last a month, is that right??The nurses pissed me off today too, there's a 'no stroller inside' policy at the clinic and I get it if it's really crowded, (is that the reason??) but today there was like one other lady and her kiddie there. Ash was sleeping in the stroller when we went in but nursey was watching the stroller like a hawk and the minute he woke up she told me to take it outside. Very typical Japanese rule bullshit that pisses me right off. Ryota also hates it, hence his hissy fit at Babies 'r' us the other day when the sales clerk wanted Ryota to sign the credit card slip instead of me, Ryota threw a tanty and the 16 year old clerk went all red and just looked down while I signed. Perhaps we really shouldn't live in this country...
Old school- drunk at about 8am...
Now, where I'm from, goon is a $2 cask of wine that you get hammered on when you're 17, obviously Japan has other ideas!
My 500 yen collection, it's about half way, which is 150,000 yen!
My rodeo boy is getting some use, Ryo-chan's surfing practice.
Ash's belly...
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Is it just me or...
Jeez, I know there's an abundance of bad English on clothes in Japan but this one goes a little bit too far. I couldn't bear to actually dress Ash in them so I just draped them over him when he was sleeping.
That is all.
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
Overdue
I don't have a late note for not updating, just have not been arsed the last few days, having two kids at home (Ash and Ryota) for 4 days is tiring stuff!
Silver week in Japan is drawing to a finish today, which means in one week I'll be leaving on a jet plane for Aussie for about 3 weeks. Excited...? I'm not sure actually. NOT looking forward to the plane trip and 5 fucking hour stop in the gold coast shitty airport. I even booked the lounge for us when we got there but apparently it only opens for an hour that we are there. Cunting jetstar, always some problem.
The last time I was at shitty little Gold coast airport I had a tanty because the lady said she couldn't take a $100 note when I went to buy a drink. Fair enough it's a big note for a bottle of coke but fuck me it's a fucking airport, of course people are going to be bringing big notes they've got from the currency exchange. That's what shits me the most about living in Australia, customer service is just poor, especially when I've been so spoiled in Japan for so long.
I have a feeling Ash will be going absolutely crazy by the time we get to the Gold coast, he's been having mental screaming fits when he's been restricted of late. Fun fun. I'm just hoping there are some kindly Obachans who like half kids on the plane and will help me.
Speaking of half kids we were in a shopping centre the other day and the staff squealed to Ash "Halfu-kun!!!" while she squeezed his chubby thighs. Whatever, I'm not really fussed what he's called but it was the first time anyone has actually ever called him 'half' to his face...if you can talk to a baby's face... you know what I mean. The girl in question had cats eyes contacts and was dripping in goth jewellery so I could have made a snide comeback but who can be fucked getting pissed off, really.
We haven't done much this week, finally scammed a new car seat from father in law, I used to feel guilty about milking him for things but he's such a daft bugger it really doesn't bother me that much anymore, and if Ash gets new stuff then who am I to complain? I did offer to go for the cheapy 12,000 yen car seat but FIL is a snob like that and insisted we got the 30,000 yen one, meh, if he wants to get ripped off for some extra padding and a brand name....
I have pictures to post and some content that may actually be slightly stimulating but again, I just cannot be fucked. Maybe when the second baby goes back to work tomorrow and I'm not picking up coffee cups and making bloody ramen at 9am.
Silver week in Japan is drawing to a finish today, which means in one week I'll be leaving on a jet plane for Aussie for about 3 weeks. Excited...? I'm not sure actually. NOT looking forward to the plane trip and 5 fucking hour stop in the gold coast shitty airport. I even booked the lounge for us when we got there but apparently it only opens for an hour that we are there. Cunting jetstar, always some problem.
The last time I was at shitty little Gold coast airport I had a tanty because the lady said she couldn't take a $100 note when I went to buy a drink. Fair enough it's a big note for a bottle of coke but fuck me it's a fucking airport, of course people are going to be bringing big notes they've got from the currency exchange. That's what shits me the most about living in Australia, customer service is just poor, especially when I've been so spoiled in Japan for so long.
I have a feeling Ash will be going absolutely crazy by the time we get to the Gold coast, he's been having mental screaming fits when he's been restricted of late. Fun fun. I'm just hoping there are some kindly Obachans who like half kids on the plane and will help me.
Speaking of half kids we were in a shopping centre the other day and the staff squealed to Ash "Halfu-kun!!!" while she squeezed his chubby thighs. Whatever, I'm not really fussed what he's called but it was the first time anyone has actually ever called him 'half' to his face...if you can talk to a baby's face... you know what I mean. The girl in question had cats eyes contacts and was dripping in goth jewellery so I could have made a snide comeback but who can be fucked getting pissed off, really.
We haven't done much this week, finally scammed a new car seat from father in law, I used to feel guilty about milking him for things but he's such a daft bugger it really doesn't bother me that much anymore, and if Ash gets new stuff then who am I to complain? I did offer to go for the cheapy 12,000 yen car seat but FIL is a snob like that and insisted we got the 30,000 yen one, meh, if he wants to get ripped off for some extra padding and a brand name....
I have pictures to post and some content that may actually be slightly stimulating but again, I just cannot be fucked. Maybe when the second baby goes back to work tomorrow and I'm not picking up coffee cups and making bloody ramen at 9am.
Saturday, 19 September 2009
Our weird little genkan on fire neighbourhood
The "street" we live on is full of old people, (I use "street" because I don't think a gravel path, cluttered with plants, bikes and general shite so that cars could never get through counts as a street) we're seriously the youngest people within a 5km radius and lucky for all the old ducks, they're so bloody deaf they don't hear Ashton screaming at 2am.
And not only are they all old, there are some serious weirdos within the group, and the other day I found out an horrific piece of gossip about one of the ones who I thought was semi-normal. So here's a rundown on the houses around us, there are 6 houses on each side:
House 1~ are kind of friends of MIL, they have a son the same age as BIL and 5 FUCKING DOGS! Seriously, I love puppies, but 5 in one house are noisy/smelly/annoying as fuck, let alone a teeny tiny Japanese house. I think the husband likes me because he's always so nice to me but everyone else says he's a bastard who never does the aisatsu deal. The wife is also quite cold and all the old biddies hate her and her noisy dogs.
House 2~ is a little old lady who I have literally seen once since we moved in. MIL calls her "little round ball lady" because she's short and pudgy, which is rich considering MIL isn't exactly Claudia Schiffer! I don't know how little round ball lady gets food from the supermarket, she never goes out, meals on wheels maybe??? There was some rotting garbage stench in the neighbourhood once and I said someone should go and check to make sure she hadn't carked it and was still in the house. I don't think she has family or anything, poor petal.
House 3~ OK this is where the bizarreness really kicks in, and these are our next door neighbours. Husband and wife and Emily the cat.
Where do I begin.
OK I know that loving your pets is normal, but the obsession the wife has with her cat is really not OK. She takes her everywhere she goes, talks to her in baby talk, takes her for walks and get this- takes a bath with her! A cat, people! I hear them in the bath together: wife husband and Emily. Eugh the mind boggles. And when she calls her name she uses this voice that I can't describe in words but it's seriously haunting and freaks me the fuck out. "Emmmmiiiilllllllyyyyyy..... Emmmmiiiillllllyyyyy!!!!!" *shudder*
The weirdness doesn't end with these two though, they have sons that never talk to them for whatever reason (probably because mummy loved the cat more than them!) and there was a massive argument a few years ago because the wife accused another neighbour of hitting on her husband!!
I wish I had a picture of the husband because if you saw him you would know how ridiculous that sounds, he is like a creepy bad teeth old J-dude. I don't like him because he never says hello to me but it may just be gaijin fear as he helped renovate our house when I was in Australia out of the kindness of his heart.
The wife also has an obsession with airing out futons, she does it way too often. I'm pretty lazy with airing out futons, but this lady takes it to the extreme, sometimes when I get up with Ash at 4am I'll hear her bashing her little stick against them to get the dust out while chatting to Emily.
House 4~ that's us! I think on a scale of weirdness we rate pretty high in Japan, me being an alien and all.
House 5~ is our old deaf dude neighbour who never makes a sound. He's very nice and always wants to see Ash when we go out in the stroller. Sounds normal, right?
Well he is, apart from his girlfriend. His old duck girlfriend is the lady who lives in the house behind ours but I don't think they could be fucking, she's like 400 years old and seriously crazy. I can't say how, but she has this shrill voice and likes to interrupt people when they are talking. The hood power biddies really dislike her and always try to cut her out of the flower bed conversations. They take little walks together to the supermarket which is cute and MIL said she saw them saying goodbye one night at the path where the houses divide and said they shook hands! How cute!
House 6~ we reaaalllllyyy don't like. The woman is a bitch who never says hello and will blatantly ignore you. She is also loud and has a husky smokey voice. Don't know why that annoys me as well, but it does. Her husband went into a depression a few years ago and refused to work so she has to work 2 jobs, so maybe I can forgive her a bit for being a bitch...
House 1~ is an old lady and her son who we call "the killer." He has that creepy look about him that gives me the willies, and he's a 50 year old man still living with his mummy the tosser. He also says she needs exercise and sends her to the conbini to get juice for him the lazy cunt. Old lady is on last legs according to Obaachan, she fainted during a flower bed discussion once and her voice is getting pretty slurred. She's nice enough though, gave us some star wars toys for Ash just in case he grows up to be a massive nerd.
House 2~ is Kumi-chan. Ohhhhh Kumi-chan.
It's actually a really tragic, scary story. Kumi-chan is now in her 40's, but when she was a baby she fell down the stairs (and I know how dangerous that can be!) and hit her head and was severely mentally damaged. Her mum must have felt sooooo bad, she was completely normal until the fall. Very sad. But now poor Kumi-chan goes mental bashing the walls and screaming every. single. night. I know it can't be helped but it seriously adds to the craziness of our hood in a big way. If you ever stay at our house you'll definitely hear her.
House 3~ is the in-laws. Directly opposite us! Woooo....Hooooo?
Divorced MIL living with rebel Obaachan, dog-loving-to-the-point-of-weird SIL and lazy little bad boy bastard BIL.
House 4~ we call "Korea" in a horribly racist affectionate way. She was born in Japan but her parents were born in North Korea and they still speak Korean at home. Just husband and wife now, and wife was the one accused of hitting on our neighbours husband. I'm 200% sure she wouldn't have been hitting on him, she is just really really....loud. And forward, like more forward than most loud obachans, possibly because of the Korean influence but that could be my too-long-in-Japan skewed view of the world. She's very nice to me though and has taken to walking every day because I made her feel guilty when she saw me going jogging.
House 5~ is 'crazy washing lady.' And she is. She washes at least 5 times a day, probably more. The veranda is constantly filled with washing and she's always out there putting new loads out. She also had a massive fight with 5 dog lady a while ago because of the sound of the washing machine going at 2am was driving her and everyone else nuts. Very quiet, always too busy washing for greetings.
House 6~ is the one who I thought was normal but is actually very very fucked up. It's just a single guy now, around 50 I think. He must work a lot because I hardly ever see him. The bizarreness is in his past. MIL informed me that when he was in primary school, his mother stood in their genkan, (house entrance) poured petrol over herself and set herself alight. Ummmm, hello, does this shit really happen in real life?? On the street I live??? Every time I walk past the door now I get a little shiver at the story. Apparently father was cheating and she just couldn't handle it so killed herself. IN THE MOST HORRIFIC MANNER EVER! That dude must seriously be scarred for life, no wonder he buries himself in work.
So that's it, our crazy little corner of the world! I told you it was crazy!
And not only are they all old, there are some serious weirdos within the group, and the other day I found out an horrific piece of gossip about one of the ones who I thought was semi-normal. So here's a rundown on the houses around us, there are 6 houses on each side:
Left side
House 1~ are kind of friends of MIL, they have a son the same age as BIL and 5 FUCKING DOGS! Seriously, I love puppies, but 5 in one house are noisy/smelly/annoying as fuck, let alone a teeny tiny Japanese house. I think the husband likes me because he's always so nice to me but everyone else says he's a bastard who never does the aisatsu deal. The wife is also quite cold and all the old biddies hate her and her noisy dogs.
House 2~ is a little old lady who I have literally seen once since we moved in. MIL calls her "little round ball lady" because she's short and pudgy, which is rich considering MIL isn't exactly Claudia Schiffer! I don't know how little round ball lady gets food from the supermarket, she never goes out, meals on wheels maybe??? There was some rotting garbage stench in the neighbourhood once and I said someone should go and check to make sure she hadn't carked it and was still in the house. I don't think she has family or anything, poor petal.
House 3~ OK this is where the bizarreness really kicks in, and these are our next door neighbours. Husband and wife and Emily the cat.
Where do I begin.
OK I know that loving your pets is normal, but the obsession the wife has with her cat is really not OK. She takes her everywhere she goes, talks to her in baby talk, takes her for walks and get this- takes a bath with her! A cat, people! I hear them in the bath together: wife husband and Emily. Eugh the mind boggles. And when she calls her name she uses this voice that I can't describe in words but it's seriously haunting and freaks me the fuck out. "Emmmmiiiilllllllyyyyyy..... Emmmmiiiillllllyyyyy!!!!!" *shudder*
The weirdness doesn't end with these two though, they have sons that never talk to them for whatever reason (probably because mummy loved the cat more than them!) and there was a massive argument a few years ago because the wife accused another neighbour of hitting on her husband!!
I wish I had a picture of the husband because if you saw him you would know how ridiculous that sounds, he is like a creepy bad teeth old J-dude. I don't like him because he never says hello to me but it may just be gaijin fear as he helped renovate our house when I was in Australia out of the kindness of his heart.
The wife also has an obsession with airing out futons, she does it way too often. I'm pretty lazy with airing out futons, but this lady takes it to the extreme, sometimes when I get up with Ash at 4am I'll hear her bashing her little stick against them to get the dust out while chatting to Emily.
House 4~ that's us! I think on a scale of weirdness we rate pretty high in Japan, me being an alien and all.
House 5~ is our old deaf dude neighbour who never makes a sound. He's very nice and always wants to see Ash when we go out in the stroller. Sounds normal, right?
Well he is, apart from his girlfriend. His old duck girlfriend is the lady who lives in the house behind ours but I don't think they could be fucking, she's like 400 years old and seriously crazy. I can't say how, but she has this shrill voice and likes to interrupt people when they are talking. The hood power biddies really dislike her and always try to cut her out of the flower bed conversations. They take little walks together to the supermarket which is cute and MIL said she saw them saying goodbye one night at the path where the houses divide and said they shook hands! How cute!
House 6~ we reaaalllllyyy don't like. The woman is a bitch who never says hello and will blatantly ignore you. She is also loud and has a husky smokey voice. Don't know why that annoys me as well, but it does. Her husband went into a depression a few years ago and refused to work so she has to work 2 jobs, so maybe I can forgive her a bit for being a bitch...
Right side
House 1~ is an old lady and her son who we call "the killer." He has that creepy look about him that gives me the willies, and he's a 50 year old man still living with his mummy the tosser. He also says she needs exercise and sends her to the conbini to get juice for him the lazy cunt. Old lady is on last legs according to Obaachan, she fainted during a flower bed discussion once and her voice is getting pretty slurred. She's nice enough though, gave us some star wars toys for Ash just in case he grows up to be a massive nerd.
House 2~ is Kumi-chan. Ohhhhh Kumi-chan.
It's actually a really tragic, scary story. Kumi-chan is now in her 40's, but when she was a baby she fell down the stairs (and I know how dangerous that can be!) and hit her head and was severely mentally damaged. Her mum must have felt sooooo bad, she was completely normal until the fall. Very sad. But now poor Kumi-chan goes mental bashing the walls and screaming every. single. night. I know it can't be helped but it seriously adds to the craziness of our hood in a big way. If you ever stay at our house you'll definitely hear her.
House 3~ is the in-laws. Directly opposite us! Woooo....Hooooo?
Divorced MIL living with rebel Obaachan, dog-loving-to-the-point-of-weird SIL and lazy little bad boy bastard BIL.
House 4~ we call "Korea" in a horribly racist affectionate way. She was born in Japan but her parents were born in North Korea and they still speak Korean at home. Just husband and wife now, and wife was the one accused of hitting on our neighbours husband. I'm 200% sure she wouldn't have been hitting on him, she is just really really....loud. And forward, like more forward than most loud obachans, possibly because of the Korean influence but that could be my too-long-in-Japan skewed view of the world. She's very nice to me though and has taken to walking every day because I made her feel guilty when she saw me going jogging.
House 5~ is 'crazy washing lady.' And she is. She washes at least 5 times a day, probably more. The veranda is constantly filled with washing and she's always out there putting new loads out. She also had a massive fight with 5 dog lady a while ago because of the sound of the washing machine going at 2am was driving her and everyone else nuts. Very quiet, always too busy washing for greetings.
House 6~ is the one who I thought was normal but is actually very very fucked up. It's just a single guy now, around 50 I think. He must work a lot because I hardly ever see him. The bizarreness is in his past. MIL informed me that when he was in primary school, his mother stood in their genkan, (house entrance) poured petrol over herself and set herself alight. Ummmm, hello, does this shit really happen in real life?? On the street I live??? Every time I walk past the door now I get a little shiver at the story. Apparently father was cheating and she just couldn't handle it so killed herself. IN THE MOST HORRIFIC MANNER EVER! That dude must seriously be scarred for life, no wonder he buries himself in work.
So that's it, our crazy little corner of the world! I told you it was crazy!
Friday, 18 September 2009
OCD snotty Friday
I've been very OCD with dirt lately, especially when it comes to Ashton's face. Fucking hate it, even though I know that I should just wait until he's finished eating to wipe his face cos it's just going to get dirty all over again.... can't do it. Must wipe after every mouthful. And the little bugger hates it (probably because I do it so much...) I think a bit of dirt is good for a kid too, kids who never get exposed to dirt get sick easily when they are but fuck, I can't stand it!
The fact that Ash caught a cold is not helping the urge to wipe his face, snot is waaayyyyy worse than food as well! He started leaking 'nose water,' as they say in Japanese, yesterday and Ryochan told me he'd go with me to the clinic when he got home from work but by the time Ash woke up it was a snot bonanza and the poor little tyke couldn't drink milk properly because he could hardly breathe through his nose.
The fact that Ash caught a cold is not helping the urge to wipe his face, snot is waaayyyyy worse than food as well! He started leaking 'nose water,' as they say in Japanese, yesterday and Ryochan told me he'd go with me to the clinic when he got home from work but by the time Ash woke up it was a snot bonanza and the poor little tyke couldn't drink milk properly because he could hardly breathe through his nose.
So in a bold move, I decided to find the baby clinic on the Internet, (we'd never been before) print off the map, and get in Tay-chan holding Ash with one hand because his old baby seat is too small and he climbs out of it while driving with the other hand.
The in-laws were very shocked at this (in-laws being Obaachan being the only one home), and the shock waves even reached Thailand where MIL was somehow informed I was taking on this impossible task. She mailed me and told me to wait until BIL got home but fuck it, I wanted to go by myself.
I called the clinic and after explaining that I was a foreigner and apologising in advance (since when do foreigners have to apologise for their foreign-ness???) I got directions and confirmed there was free parking at the clinic. And fuck me, I made it there! It was actually pretty easy to find, I even wrote my address in kanji like a big girl and filled in the whole form with Ash's info.
This simple task was actually a big effort for me, I forget that I used to survive in JapanLand even when I understood jack shit, didn't have a car and had noooo idea of any of the wacky systems such as going to a secret backdoor window to receive medicine after seeing the doc.
Ash's cold was confirmed and I was given his medicine and instructions all in (very fast) Japanese which may have been a test because after the Doc said my Japanese was great and he didn't need to use the little English he knows. I assured him that any English he used would be greatly appreciated on my part and did a big hearty "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu" and was on my way home!
In-laws were flabbergasted at my achievement and it felt good to actually show them I could do something by myself.
I called the clinic and after explaining that I was a foreigner and apologising in advance (since when do foreigners have to apologise for their foreign-ness???) I got directions and confirmed there was free parking at the clinic. And fuck me, I made it there! It was actually pretty easy to find, I even wrote my address in kanji like a big girl and filled in the whole form with Ash's info.
This simple task was actually a big effort for me, I forget that I used to survive in JapanLand even when I understood jack shit, didn't have a car and had noooo idea of any of the wacky systems such as going to a secret backdoor window to receive medicine after seeing the doc.
Ash's cold was confirmed and I was given his medicine and instructions all in (very fast) Japanese which may have been a test because after the Doc said my Japanese was great and he didn't need to use the little English he knows. I assured him that any English he used would be greatly appreciated on my part and did a big hearty "Yoroshiku onegaishimasu" and was on my way home!
In-laws were flabbergasted at my achievement and it felt good to actually show them I could do something by myself.
Anyway, Ash is on the mend and I'm trying very hard to not rub his nose too much and make it all red. I need some of those aloe tissues from home!
OK, this week's photos are pretty boring, I'm just not snapping as much as I used to, have to go on some photography field trips soon.
OK, this week's photos are pretty boring, I'm just not snapping as much as I used to, have to go on some photography field trips soon.
Old school photo of the week, getting fucked up on box wine in a park in Osaka...
My metabolic son, check the belly!
My scraped up arm from the stairs fall
Ash eating the table, as you do...
My bruised arm
I'm looking forward to the long long weekend this weekend, suckers not in Japan, enjoy your pissy 2 day weekend!
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