Stairs tumble and party pics

OK I know I promised death party piccies yesterday but I have a good excuse, I fell down the stairs!

Was upstairs trying to lower the cunting baby bed when MIL dropped Ash back home as he had fallen asleep and sleeps better at our quiet, clean, yapping dog-free house. When she put him down she asked if I could hear him from upstairs and I said I could, but somewhere in the back of my mind there was this image of him waking up silently and crawling into the kitchen and getting into some dangerous kind of trouble. He never wakes up silently but you know, the thought was still there...

So when he woke up 2 minutes later and started crying I flew out of our bedroom and literally flew down the stairs. Anyone who lives in a J-house knows that the stairs are fucking lethal, I mean they equip them with an old lady bar even when there are no old ladies present!

I often think how dangerous and steep they are and when I'm carrying Ash I'm always super careful, but yesterday was the combination of rushing, not concentrating and wearing socks due to my fear of dirty feet.

As my feet slipped out from under me I landed on my arse (lucky it's big and cushioney!) and then kept going right till the bottom, I tried to stop myself with my arms but that was my biggest mistake, stopping was impossible and I just ended up with burny, scratchy bruised arms and fucked up hands. My little finger and thumb were swollen and at funny angles so I went and got an x-ray and thank god nothing was broken. The doctor even said I had beautiful bones, whatever the fuck that means...

So that was that, the bruising is coming out more today so if there are any shockingly good bruises I'll post them, but mostly just annoying scratches.

Yesterday was a cursed day, had to take Ash to the clinic too as a mosquito bite blew up into this massive red bubble on his arm, then had the stairs, and MIL almost had to cancel her flight to Thailand as the lady covering her work schedule's mother died! I wouldn't have been getting on a plane yesterday but she did!

OK, here are some death party pics.....

Our cousin and Ash with goofy faces on the bus ride of death.

The crew...and the view...

Ash admiring the view while noshing.

MIL and Obaachan.

Fancy food.

Uncle and Auntie

Restaurant entrance.

I'm dying, let's all go out for dinner and get hammered!

That was the theme of the dinner we went to last night. Just because depressing revelations like that are soooooooo uplifting on a Sunday night...

MIL informed us that we were going to a family dinner to be held last night, of course, she left the dying-uncle-shouting-us-all part out. We see this uncle and auntie quite often, they live just around the corner, and last year uncle was diagnosed with emphysema. The 3 packets of ciggies he smoked a day for god knows how many years may have had something to do with it, and now he needs to trek around with an oxygen tank attached to him. He's nice, in a rough, scary kind of way. And I like his son, good drinking partner.

Anyway, we got home from Jamies's going away party and then were shuffled out the door so the bus could pick us up. I was like, bus? what bus? what? Apparently the restaurant has a shuttle bus which I've never seen in Japan before but once we started driving I knew why, the restaurant is literally on top of a mountain, and a big fuck-off mountain at that. I was glad I was sitting on the back seat and couldn't see how close the half blind Occhan was going to the edge of the cliff around the corners. The mountain mission was definitely worth the view though, awesome. I took pictures but Ash was being a bugger and couldn't be arsed changing lens so the view pics are pretty shite, will get my shit together tomorrow and post some anyway though.

When we got there the uncle gave a speech about how the doctor said he was definitely going to die soon so he thought he should take his family out for a good meal. Err.... cheers?....woo...h... Oh wait, just bow head and look at shoes.
Luckily MIL started taking the piss out of him and said he'd be saying that when he was 90 years old and that we'd never get rid of him, we all relaxed a bit after that and I ordered more beer to take the edge off.

This place was fancy, the chefs are all trained in different specialities and the lady looking after us introduced herself and said if we needed anything we should ask her. I took advantage of this and ended up with my beer never being empty, a high chair for Ash, a real port-a-cot when he went to sleep, and access to a private office with air con when I got my tits out for the lad.
The meal was like 800 courses (of dainty Japanese food though so equals about 10 gaijin courses.) but man I was fucking bursting by the end of the night, lucky I was wearing stretchy pants or we would have been in trouble! Again, photos to come when I can be arsed.

I was curious to know how much it cost so being the uncouth gaijin that I am, I asked MIL who had put it on her card for the mileage. And fuck me, that mileage will fly her to whoop whoop and back again, 70 thousand fucking yen!!!! That's what like 850 bucks??? I think my beer tab took up most of it, I was well smished by the bus ride home. Uncle was going on about wanting to go to costco so seeing as though he shelled out a small fortune I offered to take him this week.

In other news..... not much going on, getting ready for my trip back home.. MIL going to Thailand for 2 weeks tomorrow... Ashton cut his top tooth and I cried, why? I have noooo fucking idea, since giving birth I've turned into a soft in the head crying machine. Piccies tomorrow!

Foto Friday PLUS today only!! Bonus in-law rant!

Weeks are flying by, less than 3 weeks until I'm back in Aussie. Kind of looking forward to it in that will be great to see everyone and everyone will be thrilled to see Ash, (and take him off my hands hehe) but will definitely miss Ryota and being 'home.'

Had a few in-law incidents over the past few weeks, we're in a futon debate at the moment, all the in-laws are fighting for Ash to be out of the crib and on to a futon. I'm not against futons, fuck I like them, sleep on one! But we spent $400 on the freakin baby bed, it's taking up room, he should sleep in it! Plus, it's a safe place for him, he's into everything at the moment, we're baby proofing like crazy. It's the only place where he can't chew the shit out of something that will get lodged in his throat. Everyone here insists that he's waking up because he's hitting his legs and arms on the crib but I think it's bullshit, we tried him on the futon one night and he rolled off on to the tatami and woke up anyway. So for now he stays, I'm the one who gets up anyway!

The main in-law problem lately has been SIL. moody little bitch has been hell to be around lately. She's always been moody and that's partly why I like her, she's unpredictable and kind of bitchy to people who piss her off, but her latest hissy fit is the most childish thing I've ever heard. She's jealous because her Dad wouldn't buy her a jacket she wanted.... Ummm can you say 12 years old???

Basically, SIL really doesn't like her Dad, she's still cut about how he left her mum, and that's cool, FIL was a right wanker at the time, she has every right to still be pissed. So she never goes to see him or calls him, even when BIL and Ryota and I go, she stays home. FIL always asks about her and what she's doing and we usually make some excuse like she's working because we can see the hurt look on his face.

FIL is pretty generous (making up for bad fathering perhaps??) and always buys us little (or big, kitchen chairs, finally, woooohoooo!) prezzies. He bought Ash a new high chair the other day and BIL some ridiculously over-priced anti-balding shampoo and SIL was miffed when she heard about this. So she called FIl and without even saying "How are you?" first said, "Can you buy me this jacket I want on the Internet?? Just give me your card number..."

I was gobsmacked when I heard that, sooooo cheeky!

I honestly think if she'd asked FIL if they could go shopping together for her winter jacket he would have jumped at the chance, but as expected he said no. Thank god, I would have really lost respect for him if he'd said yes.

Anyway, since then, SIL has been in a foul mood towards everyone, including Ash, which just isn't fair. She thinks that we shouldn't go to FIL's house but fuck, that's our choice not hers. (Plus, I need some new bedding! ;) Ryota got so sick of it he went off his nut the other night and basically said he didn't care whether she was family or not, a bitch is a bitch. It was harsh but even Grandma and MIL told her she was being an arsehole, and since then she's been back to normal. Gotta love Japan and the feeling burying tactics that go on then get smoothed over until someone goes crazy with a knife at Akihabara station....

Been a few other things like Grandma telling me Ash is too cold because his shoulders aren't covered but nothing a few "Sou ne's" can't fix.

OK here are this week's piccies!

Old school! Was having contractions here, hence the timing sheet next to me! なつかしいいいい！

Ash has taken to shouting into wrapping paper then waiting for a reply, very cute.

Drunken photo from the end of the wedding, Ryo-chan looks like he's gunna keel over!

Was this little man's birthday party the other day, we had lots of fun, Happy Birthday Raiden kun! Check out his mummy's cool blog here!

We loooovvvveee yoghurt!

Weekend part two...

Little late, the next weekend is almost here!

We went and visited our friend Sayuri on Sunday and her little girl Sakura. Sakura is 1 year old and Sayuri is 8 months preggers with the next one!!! Super woman?? Mad woman?? I'm going to go with Fucking insane woman. To have two ankle biters that close together is beyond my imagination.

Sakura and Ash were very friendly with each other and I'm hoping they will get married one day and have lovely little half-half kiddies.

I feel bad for Sayuri, her hub is Australian and not the best hub from what I hear. Arrested for drug possession, lost his licence for drink driving, living with his alcoholic mother, smokes in front of the babies...Cock. Now I remember why I could never go back to Aussie brutes. Her mum is also battling breast cancer and is quite ill. I wish Sayuri would leave Australia and live in Japan, I have a funny feeling she might one day... Anywhooo, here are some pictures from Sunday.

Ryo-chan gearing up for the 2 kiddy hold.

Ash and his hair pulling tactics the big flirt.

They were sharing toys like pros.

Ash didn't appreciate the pink hat...

Awesome weekend part 1

I'm incredibly pleased to announce that Ash is back to normal, only one wake up last night and he didn't drink milk, so all is good in our house! His nappy seems to not fit as well, maybe it was a growth spurt?? And he is pulling himself up at the moment... Who freakin' knows with babies, I think I'll just have to go with the flow for the next 18 years until I can throw him out of the house and go on a world trip...

This weekend was great fun, hectic, but fun. Again, I can't be arsed writing everything so I'll write about my Saturday now and my Sunday at some other time. Got some great snaps though, couldn't put the camera down!

Saturday started off pretty shitty, I was looking forward to seeing my hot hairdresser to get a cut and colour but when I got to the salon I got lots of bows and some bullshit excuse that hot hairdresser was sick. Phhhffft, sick my left tit, he's such a yankee I bet he was out on the piss all night, which actually makes me love him even more...

Anyway, I got stuck with a short weedy guy who apparently is the 'top stylist.' I was miffed seeing as though I'd booked a week in advance, and even more miffed when they stuck me with the big-haired, para-para assistant to do my colour. She was wearing white ugg-boots and that was enough to turn me off her, but then she had to ask whether or not she uses foil for mesh, even I know you use foil, twit! She didn't say a word to me the whole time and was shit scared of me I think, seeing as though I did a huge cross sign with my arms and said "No gold or orange!!!" before she put the colour on.

The colour didn't turn out too bad, despite weedy stylist sucking air through his teeth and saying the colour I wanted was very difficult. Fuck me, hot hairdresser managed it, can't be that hard! Para-para assistant was shoved off to sweep up hair and weedy stylist began to cut my hair, once he loosened up he was pretty cool. I was planning on just a trim but when he started taming my mullet I realised I couldn't handle the long bits at the back and short front bits at the front that hot hairdresser had done a few months before so I just had him hack it all off to one length, it's very short but feels good and I'm pretty happy with it.

After the haircut we got ready for our friends' wedding party. It was my first wedding in Japan and I must say it was fun but a total rip off, I was disgruntled about this the whole time so made sure I milked my $70 for as much wine as I could... How do I put this? I was fucked. Sozzled. Pissed. Drunk as a skunk. Smashed. Trolleyed. Destroyed. Loaded. More than tipsy. Smished..... It was so good!!

We also when to a bar after where I downed a fair amount of hoegarden beer to top it off, which I love!

Ryo-chan also had a skin-full after his 4(!) rum and cokes and we both stumbled home to the reality of our little monster. Speaking of which, MIL was babysitting him and he had gone to sleep but woke up just as she was about to come pick us up. Everyone else was in bed so she had to bring him with her on her back... I found this quite amusing at the time in my drunken state, but now I think about it, how safe can this really be....?

MIL driving with Ash on her back, he seemed quited content...

Cos the car just wasn't dangerous enough...

Ryo-chan drunk chuckling in disbelief at his own Mother's recklessness...

And now for some wedding pics! The couple are so lovely, Euan is Scottish. Was a great night!

Ryo-chan and the groom

Beautiful!


My favourite picture of the night.

Foto friday, sleepless nights, walk-out fights, desperate D gossip, more fights and a partridge in a fucking pear tree.

This past few days have been a crazy whirlwind of stress and divorce threatening, I feel like an old woman!
I'm also running on very little sleep for the past 3 nights so please forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes that will be scattered through this post... I did title this post 'Men and babies. HAD IT!' But Ryota and I are now happily back to love love mode so I can't really say that now.

OK going to break it down into categories becasue I can't be arsed writing a fluid composition of topics...

Sleepless nights-
Ashton is going through a stage (please god let it just be a stage...) of waking up every 2 hours at night. This means I get no sleep at all basically as it takes me a long time to fall asleep anyway. Last night was better, I got about 4 hours I think. This also means Ryota gets interrupted sleep, and when you've got to get up at 5:30am that's no fun either.

Walk-out fights-
Due to lack of sleep on both our parts we've been extremly irritable. The other night this led to a fight where I threatened to leave but Ryota ended up leaving instead. I was soooo fucking angry!
This is how it went down; Ryota got home late which pisses me off to begin with (despite it not being his fault). Then I asked him to finish giving Ash his dinner so I could make our dinner. Ryota is pretty shit at feeding Ash, he gives up way too quickly and has no patience, sometimes I think he's doing it on purpose becasue it's just too tedious. Ash was really sleepy so he asked me what he should do. I possibly used a tone like, 'are you a fucking moron, put him to sleep' when I said "give him some juice and a dummy and rock him to sleep". I was busy with dinner by this point and Ash went to sleep pretty quickly. Ryota hadn't got the futon out beforehand and got panicky when he realised he couldn't put him down. He then said to me in an extremly harsh tone: "Can you fucking help me!?"
I was fucking fuming at that point, what the fuck does he think I do all day by myself??? *Deep breaths...*
After Ash was sleeping I closed the door and we started screaming at each other which led to the leaving...blah blah...drama drama.
I went after him when he left and we made up. All good. Except some of that argument wasn't resolved and carried on to the next night's fight....

Desperate D gossip-
OK I wrote about D, Ryota's friend who had a thing for Ryota a while back. Well, she called Ryota last night in tears and she had a massive fight with her boyfriend becasue his mother doesn't like her and he booked her a flight today, 3 weeks early!!!! What a fucking spinelesss cock smoker!! He's 30 fucking years old and he's listening to what his mummy has to say??? I feel bad for her, she seemed really upset.

More fights-
OK, kinda carry over from original fight but the night before last I'd literally had no sleep at all and when Ash woke up for the fourth time I started sobbing. Now this isn't unusual for me, I'm a total cry baby. 24 hour TV, cried like a big baby, movies, sad, angry, I cry. I was just so exhausted that I needed to cry. Ryota also woke up and asked me "Are you ok?" But not in a , 'aww poor thing' kind of way, in a 'fucking hell woman what are you crying about?' way. When I told him I was tired he said it was my fault for not sleeping in the day. Ash sleeps about 30 minutes during his daytime nap and that precious time is used for cleaning or doing some other shite that Ryota has no idea about. I got a bit emotionally over-tired hysterical then and we had another round but I had no fight just tears in me.
End result, Ryota realised he'd been a wanky husband and apologised profusely the next day and even got up with me when Ash woke up last night, which isn't necessary, just a bit of compassion is all I need.

Phew.

All good now, looking forward to this weekend, getting my hair done, going to a wedding and then visiting our friend in Nara.

This week's pics, pretty boring sorry!

Ash destroying my well kept shelf. (Note the rodeo boy holding a towel and a plate...)

Telling Daddy a secret...

Me and Ash with Tay-chan

Dinner at outback

Helping grandma with a box cutting project.

Gotta get us a lottery ticket

We got lucky yesterday, well, actually, Ryota got sneaky. Either way, we came out of it 20,000 yen richer! In normal circumstances my moral compass might have found their bearings but Ryota's boss is a major tight arse who cut his salary when he went back to work so I was happy to take the ill-gotten money.
Ryota came home last night and gave me 20,000 yen and told me I should buy a new dress for the wedding we're going to on Saturday night, I was worried I was going to have to whore myself out for a new outfit what with new car buying activities and all so was very happy. But then the thought occurred to me that he might have developed a secret pachinko habit and I got scared... I was very relieved to hear that while he was cleaning out an office on a job site where he was instructed to throw everything away he came across 4 platinum rings in their box. Resourceful boy my lad is, he took it upon himself to swing past the second-hand store on his way home and got the cash for them! If his boss wasn't such a fucker then he would have just given the rings to him and they would have shared the money or whatever, but I went and got myself a new dress, necklace and a mini buggy for Ash for when we go back to Australia. Sweet!

The dinner the other night went pretty good, didn't get any 'I want to shag your husband senseless' vibes from his friend, she was with her boyfriend after all. I hope she doesn't read this blog.... Anyway, she's desperate to marry her boyfriend, actually she's desperate to marry any Japanese guy, not quite sure why... Not that I'm knocking the J-guys, I don't think I could go back to brutish Aussie guys now, but I used to just possibly pick the wrong guys I don't know.
This girl, D, loves J-guys though and is determined to marry one, good luck to her just don't steal my man biatch.

Oh and for non living in JapanLand people (all 2 of you) I'm sorry, it must be so annoying when I use Japanese words here... here's a little guide of the words I just can't seem to go back into English with:

Obaachan- Grandma
Ryo-chan- Ryota (anyone with 'chan' on the end of their name is just an affectionate term)
Genki- Happy/healthy/lively.... It's a very convenient word...
Ganbaru- Do my best/Try... Sounds crap in English but again, very useful in Japanese...

There are lots more, I'll try and stop doing it though!

Had some annoying in-law activity this week but will save that for tomorrow as I can see Ash about to crack his head open on the coffee table while Ryota watches TV...