Red-faced...

is what I have been, twice today, and it's only lunch time. The first was out of in-law anger, and the second was from jogging. I'd much rather the latter, although at least it gives me something to write about now...

So, it was grandma again this morning that pissed me off. I feel bad, cos, you know, there's an unwritten code that you're not supposed to get pissed at old people, it's just in their nature to be annoying and you have to put up with it, but I think it may be the fact that I can't totally express myself as much as I usually would if I was communicating in my first language that I end up getting ticked off. Who knows, anyway, I think I break all kinds of old people codes when I daydream about throwing grandma off the balcony or shoving one of Ash's socks in her mouth...

So this morning, Ash wakes up, starts randomly clapping, what the fuck?
And then when we get downstairs, instantly starts crying, and not just crying, but wailing at the top of his lungs. Fantastic, great start to the day!
He's getting very demanding lately, now he can communicate a little and actually knows what the fuck is going on around him, but I'm trying to teach him to not just cry, but actually communicate on some kind of civil level to get what he wants. Ha! Good luck to me, it's like ramming my head up against a screaming brick wall, but I shall persist anyway.

So he's crying and carrying on, grabs my hand and takes me to the genkan and points at his little blue thongs (which are terribly cute but far too small for him and pinch his toes). I have no idea why he likes them so much, but he does, so I put them on and then he wanted to go outside, fair enough, shoes-outside, I get the connection. So I am willing to go outside with my birds nest hair and panda eyes from yesterday's make-up with the little bastard and what does he do, goes straight to the in-laws house and starts banging on the door. Little fucker! I'd also got his breakfast ready and wanted him to eat it quickly so we could get off to kindy, but there was no getting him to leave the in-laws house.

Now this in itself gives me little pangs of jealousy, that he would rather go to their house than be with us in the morning, but whatever, I'll deal with it. Anyway, get inside and there are lots of good mornings and all that crap going on while Ash climbs up the step to go inside. Now I live in Japan, where the 'no shoes inside' policy is enforced, but to be honest, I never kept my shoes on inside when I was a kid, it was a rule in our house. (much to the shock of Japanese people who think non pure bloods are all savages) So I start taking off his thongs. It was like I was amputating his feet along with them, the way he screamed, seriously. I knew he would carry on but it was really bad, but I do feel that rules are rules (plus his thongs were covered in mud!!) and that he can just deal with it. But noooo, Grandma shoos me away, actually shooed me!!! And says that he can come inside with his muddy thongs on. Fuck off!!!!! No wonder he wants to go to their house, he gets away with fucking murder and thong wearing and stuff. So I made my little protest saying that he would always want to keep the fucking thongs on now but I was shush-ed this time.

Rules seem to be impossible at the moment, because every fucker but me is breaking them. Makes my attempt at parenting very tough. As expected too, when I finally dragged him home to eat breakfast he had a small seizure when I took his thongs off, but I was so pissed at that point that I just threw them in the genkan, told him too bad and distracted him with Mickey mouse. And despite Grandma's way of thinking, he had actually forgotten about the thongs with the Mickey distraction within about a minute and happily ate his breakfast. Maybe I should make a house arrest rule in the morning so Grandma doesn't fuck with my routine, or perhaps the balcony is an easier option afterall...